Kelly - Not a sexy NEW friend because she's visited me lots of times!

Wow! It was nice to see Kelly again! It had been like 6 months since she visited last. She has to come in from Las Vegas which is a long ways away. Or so I'm told. It's not like anyone has taken me there! I'm obviously worth people traveling long distances. I'm kind of like Baby Jesus since people came from a long way to visit him although I bet he didn't appreciate it much since he was just a baby. I'm not being critical of Baby Jesus - I'm just saying human babies seem sort of stupid. It's like they don't know anything which science has proved, by the way. The last thing I need is a strike against me getting into cat heaven because I pissed off Jesus! It's frankly very questionable that I would get in anyways. I just know that if eating birds and murdering lizards is against the heaven rules, I'm in some serious trouble! But I doubt if birds and lizards have souls so who knows! I might get in after all because if they don't have souls then all my bird and lizard killing sprees would be a public service. Dogs certainly don't have souls - that's pretty obvious and they're retarded too.

But it was about time that she renewed our friendship which involves me getting brushed and petted lots - in case anyone is paying attention. As the first surveillance photo demonstrates I had things to do and places to go but she insisted on some serious public displays of affection (see second photo for proof of this!). I'm not complaining - she's more important than going out and chasing lizards. Especially since it's wasted time since the owners won't let me bring them in. It's really disturbing when humans don't appreciate the pleasure of a fresh kill. Yum!


She had just got back from school or something. I'm concluding that from how she was dressed. I actually don't know where she was. She's very pretty and even more importantly smells good. She's certainly smart enough for school since she has figured out that I eat better if I'm being petted. It makes dinner more interesting somehow.

I think this was her third time to come visit. It's hard to keep track with all my visitors and all. I think sleeping 18 hours a day affects my memory sometimes too. I'm not sure about that though - I don't really remember. And who cares really ... as long as the Fancy Feast Grilled Tuna in Gravy keeps finding its way into my bowl.

Sulia - My Sexy New Friend!!

This is Sulia and she's wearing a wedding dress.  And, no, I didn't get married although it looks like I did! I should circulate this photo to get rid of some female cat stalkers.  She said her name was Japanese. It beats me - I've never been to Japanese - it's obviously outside of Riverside.  I thought Sulia was a Sufi name.  The last thing I need is an argument though. And if Sulia is a Sufi name, I'd like to point out that the Sufi's are in the inner, mystical dimension of Islam and the last thing I need is to have some mystical Islamists mad at me! I got enough troubles as it is!

Sulia is tons of fun and even though I was trying to get away from her (it was dinner time for crying out loud!), I really like her.  It's hard to keep up with her, but since I'm a cat it's not expected that I keep up with anyone. It doesn't get any better than being a cat when people take as normal when you sleep 18 hours a day! It's pretty obvious from the big smile I gave her that she's quite fond of me as well. I don't know what it is about me, but people just love me. 

She was pretty popular around here too. More than just me. My owner really liked her. The pretty one, not the one who took the picture. And when the pretty one likes someone, I notice they get invited back.  I bet she'll be back soon. She always has an invitation from me - that's for sure!

My friend Natalie

This is Natalie. I'm the Huskercat.  So it's probably pretty obvious how thrilled I was to have her come visit me and she's dressed in this lovely husker sweater and red head band. I'm not big on fashion (other than I like fur coats), but I'm easily won over by her. 

She really pulled me in and hugged and squeezed me silly (see photo). All that and she smells good too. Us cats use our whiskers and our sniffer to evaluate what's going on around us. And she was a lot going on around me. This one is special and she is invited over anytime she wants!

Rachel - another sexy new friend!

Rachel and Nicole came over today. They are both really pretty models from Washington. Why girls this pretty would want to hang out with my owner is beyond me.

This picture doesn't do her justice but then that wasn't my fault. She seems to like dogs more than cats and, frankly it showed in her attitude when she picked me up. Everyone around here seems to think they can just pick me up! She was holding me kinda funny and I flipped over which, as it turns out, gave me quite a face full! She's making that funny face because I, shall I say, extended my claws. Now what was really funny was when she decided she didn't want to hold me my claw grabbed her dress (see my right paw in the surveillance photo) and considerable hilarity ensued (as they say!). If my owner actually knew how to work that camera of his, he would have got a photo of THAT!

She was very nice but she needs some elementary lessons on how to handle cats. Especially VIP cats such as myself! And she should dump that yippy little Mexican dog of hers and get a real pet that would respect her as a woman - such as a cat like me. Not that I would go with her; I have it way too good here with savory Grilled Fancy Feast Seafood dinner with gravy two times a day!

Nicole - another sexy new friend!

Nicole and Rachel came over today. My owner thinks he's a photographer and they took all kinds of pictures. They are from Washington. They had the nerve to bring a damn dog with them. I couldn't believe it! If my owner knew about this there will be hell to pay!!

The damn dog actually tried to eat my food! It was a yippy little thing. It was a dog like in the Taco Bell commercials - I think they're called ratdogs. (haha!)

It's not clear at all to my why someone as pretty as her would want a snippy little loser dog like that! She's free to hug me all she wants, but I'd prefer to see less of that dog. It's hardly a dog really ... it's so dinky. If I were that dog, I'd be embarrassed to be a dog. And if I weren't that dog, and was some other dog, I'd beat the crap out of it!

Marie - my newest sexy new friend!

So it's a lazy Sunday afternoon and the door bell rings. It's really loud. I have enough trouble squeezing in my 18 hours of sleep everyday without being bothered by the doorbell. I wasn't expecting anybody so I had to investigate. By investigate I mean I lifted my head a little off of the pillow on the sofa and halfway opened one eye and saw the zipper of her jeans! I point this out because usually when I lift my head I'm expecting to see someone else's head. You know, like on top of their body. This girl is TALL! And she's got legs that don't end. uh oh ... that sounds a little predatory I guess. If I'm to believe the language in the last court injunction against me. Stupid dogs. But by traditional human measures, she's like around 6 feet tall! She's not like the shorties that usually wander around this dump.

So I don't know who the hell she is but right away she's like Oh what a cutie! and That's a great looking cat! and Does he mind if I pick him up?Where's she get off asking someone else if it's ok to pick me up?? In her defense she does seem to recognize that I'm special and unusually attractive. She doesn't seem like the type to dish out some Fancy Feast though.

It's rather obvious that if someone wants to pick me up - they should ask me. Since it's all about me! My owner goes like I don't care and it's getting all really annoying! Then this girl (people call her Marie) chases me down and gives me a big squeeze! (see surveillance photo) At first I thought what the heck?? But then she pulls me really close in and wants to bond with me.

I've got nothing against pretty girls wanting to bond with me! And I'm not going to start having problems with it now because she didn't know how to ask properly. I know not to look a gift horse in the mouth! Actually, I'm not even sure what that means, but it seems to fit somehow. I don't even like horses - they're too big, they smell alot and they don't poo in a litter box. Anyway, it turns out that she's pretty cool. She gets her picture taken alot which reminds me that the guy with the big camera hasn't taken my picture for several days. I think it's several days. It was at least 4 cans of Fancy Feast Ocean Buffet with Gravy ago. I don't worry about keeping time. Mostly because as long as I get fed I could care less. When you sleep 18 hours a day it's easy to lose track! HA!

She was fun but my owner (not the pretty one) kept chasing me off the set when I would try and see if she'd want to squeeze me some more. I'd welcome her back but I have no idea how to get ahold of her. I keep trying to let my litter changers know that I need a cat secretary to keep track of these kinds of things. An official cat secretary, not a temp or something! I could use a little more traffic like Marie around here. This place is about as exciting as being stuck in a drain pipe during the rain. One thing about her, she livens things up around this place! It's sure not lively right now. I'm going to take a nap so leave me alone.