My May Day!!

Today is May Day. I don't usually celebrate May Day. Big deal you might say! I don't have anything against May (which should be known as International Cat Shedding Month). But I don't celebrate May Day for two reasons. First off, it's International Worker's Day. I'm retired cuz I'm almost 18 human years old. If you do the math it comes out to 88 cat years. Why should I celebrate working? Give me a break! Secondly it's mostly communist countries that celebrate it so it would be un-American to get all woopie about May. I'm no commie!

But this May Day was special because I got another visit from my friend Natalie! She's been here a bunch of times but I haven't seen her for a year! It's about time she showed up for her traditional photo with me. It was good to pal around with her. You can see her giving me some serious squeeze! Nothing wrong with that!

Many of the Huskercat fans might be wondering How does Tommy get all those great pictures with all his sexy friends? It's not too complicated. It helps when you're a real chick magnet like I am. Once you got that going for ya then you just need a studio with all the fancy lights and stuff so my best features will be preserved when I get the squeeze.

This this picture gives everybody a real behind the scenes sort of view of my Huskercat Studio Facility. According to Wikipedia, I'm the only cat with his own Studio Facility. Ok, actually it doesn't say that on Wikipedia. But it will in about an hour! HA! I'm not sure why one of my owners poked his head into this picture. You'ld think he could get his own friends or at least find something to do!

Anyways, I'm not the only one who can be funny. Later on Natalie texted us a photo she took which was pretty funny. I've included the photo in question. For some reason she sent us a photo of a little poop at the bottom of a toilet! My first reaction was What's up with that?? But then you got to admit that was pretty funny.

But there was a little more texting ...

My Owner: My brain finally figured out what the pic was!

Natalie: What pic?

My Owner: Of a turd at the bottom of a toilet bowl.

Natalie: What!! That's my fish!!

My Owner: Well your fish looks like a turd!

Natalie: I'm flushing it! :(

My Owner: NO!! NO!!!

So all that was pretty funny! I don't know if she was just messing with my owner or what. Not that I care if she flushed her damn fish. A smarter move with the fish would have been to have brought it here so I could eat it! I mean - come on! I bet I would still prefer Fancy Feast Grilled Seafood Feast with Gravy though. Nothing beats Fancy Feast!

Well that's a good way to wrap this up. Talking about Fancy Feast!

Merry Christmas 2008! What Santa brought me!

HO HO HO is the word of the day it would seem! Santa Claus came to visit or so I'm told. He's not part of our cat mythology but from what I can gather he's some fat guy who doesn't know how to shave and is old enough to retire. And he's known for delivering the goods so he's my kind of guy!

The owners made me sit on this box for my "Christmas picture." Sounds like I get one picture a year taken or something. I get my picture taken all the time. That's why they have a special photographer for me. All celebrities have their own photographer! But they can take my picture if they want - as long as there's loot to be had! I've already noticed that my sock has three candy canes but the others only have one. This bodes well. For me!

Presents are being opened and I smell something special. I can't figure it out. Us cat's have a special smell organ in our mouth and so I can always figure things out better if I smell with my mouth. Bet you didn't know that cats had this. It's just one more reason in a long list of reasons why cats are superior to dogs. I mean dogs can smell better than cats, but that's not going to make up the difference for being retarded in the brain now is it? Dogs are stupid.

It turns out that the one owner (the big one) gave the cute owner a hair skrunchy made out of mink fur! It was in her Christmas stocking. Wow - they killed a mink just to make a hair scrunchy.  Well, that's ok by me. Minks are sneaky little things and all you PeTA fans who are thinking that it's not fair for a mink to get killed to make a hair scrunchy I'd like to remind you that this mink probably had it coming for one reason or another so there's no reason to be losing sleep over this. For god's sake don't be a wuse about something like this! Save your emotional torment for something worthwhile - like how there might be a Fancy Feast Grilled Tuna in Gravy shortage! I have nightmares about that!!

My owners go crazy about cat stuff. They're complete suckers for any cat crap. Somebody has this all figured out because someone gave them some dish towels with cats on them (see surveillance photo above).  Whoever gave them these towels must live in a double wide somewhere because if they had any taste at all they would have gotten some towels with Maine Coons since we are so much more better looking than the mangy cat on the towel. 

So what did Santa bring me? That's what you really wanted to know! I got a bunch of cans of Fancy Feast Tuna Feast in Gravy (my all time fav!); and a can of Fancy Feast Tuna Feast (the kind without gravy), and a can of Fancy Feast Ocean Whitefish & Tuna Feast in Gravy. The feeders know I like the Fancy Feasts in gravy the most so I'm not sure what's up with the Tuna Feast without gravy, but I don't want to seem ungrateful, although I wish they'd pay a little closer attention to my needs than this. But I did pretty well for myself and it's time to be reflective about all the feral cats who go hungry although, I don't like to reflect on that for too long because Christmas is all about having stuff (like Fancy Feasts) and not about being down on your luck. 

Persephone (fellow cat, RIP) * snif *

My blog is where I talk about me. That's important because of all my fans and friends who are always wanting to know about my exciting life and just need their daily update on what the ol' Huskercat is up to. So I don't usually spend my blog time talking about other cats (they can get their own damn blog!). And by usually I mean never. And since I'm a cancer survivor I know about death and I know how important I am to my human owners. I know that because of all the $$ they spend on me at the clinic! HA!

Ok, but this blog entry isn't about me. I hate to be a sourpuss here but I think I need to say some things about a fellow puss who bit the dust a couple days ago. That cat would be Seph (or Persephone if you weren't a close friend). She's the in the photo below (the cute one - not the big guy who is sleeping - I assume he's sleeping. he might have just been hammered!)

Before I get started though, I'd like to point out that this photo appears to be surreptitiously taken. That guy is some kind of buddy of my owners which makes me and Seph buddies, in case anyone was wondering. That's how us cats roll. But that guy needs to get a firmer handle on his environment because nobody should allow people sneaking around taking pictures. That's just wrong. Although the guy seems lost in sleep, Seph clearly was annoyed with the intrusion into her personal space.

The above photo reflects how loved Seph was by this big guy. I don't know his name - my owner just refers to him as "Hey, Big Guy." He's no bigger than my owner though. I'm not surprised that my owner refers to him that way - hell, he calls me the cancer cat sometimes! Talk about insensitive! He's a jerk sometimes. And he wonders why I barf on his pillow! Anyways, I seem to be having trouble getting started on this. Bottom line is Seph is now in kitty heaven. She died - might as well get that on the table, ok? She was in pain due to cancer and things weren't going to get any better for her. As hard as it was, her owner had to have her put to sleep. My cancer is in remission and I have lots of blogs detailing my fight against this anti-cat disease along with photos, but this entry isn't about me (I have the hardest time not talking about me!). Whatever, anyway, as I'm sure I don't need to let humans know (even dumb ass humans - LOL) us cats are all about quality of life. We always take the shortest path to a better quality of life. With brief distractions to murder a mouse or bird that is. That's why humans know they need to keep showering us with affection and high quality catnip and soft, warm places to sleep. Oh, and BTW, I don't need any comments about murdering mice and birds. First of all there is an excess of them and, secondly, it's not like they don't have it coming.

What was great about Seph and her owner was that it was a relationship of mutual love and affection. I don't want to get all gushy but Seph had a rough start in this world. She was abused and then abandoned (and some people don't think there should be a death penalty!). It's surprising she lived to her old age of 16! But love conquers all (as some romantically afflicted sappy human once said). And that's not even true, but what I mean to say is that when she got adopted by her owner her life really turned around. Seph liked the good life (hey, show me a cat that doesn't! :) ), but she was a tough puss. She got hit by a car about 7 years ago and her doctors told her she would have to have her busted leg amputated. Well that was a crock of shit (I'm not going to mince words here!) and she pulled through. And she did that as a 4-legged cat, I might add! Her doctors were probably just trying to cover their asses. I've seen that before! Although not with my doctors. They are all board certified specialists and are very expensive and they read this blog so the last thing I want is for them to think that I have any doubts about them.

Seph's owner, the guy in the unstylish white get up, took this picture just before he made that last trip to the vet. That must have been hard, but he did the right thing. Taking her to the vet at this point in her life. The writing was on the wall and as I said earlier, we cats are all about quality of life. I constantly remind my owners about this which is why I get savory Fancy Feast twice a day. Seph must have been quite a character even for a cat. I'm sure we would have gotten along well, if you know what I mean. You know, before getting snipped. Since most of my readers aren't as worldly as I am, in Greek mythology, Persephone was all about the Earth's fertility as well as being associated with the Queen of the Underworld. In later myths, Persephone was the daughter of Demeter and Zeus. That kicks ass! Nowadays, Persephone is kind of known as an innocent maiden. From what I've heard of her owner (from my owner) the innocent maiden connotation probably had nothing to do with Seph! I'm just a year younger than Seph. As an older cat you get used to being called geezer cat or an old farty feline. So it's in this later phase of cat life that one really appreciates an owner who lavishes love and affection. It's good to know that Seph had all this. That's the point of humans - making their cats lives better and her owner understood this. Without getting too sappy, the world is a sadder place without her. Her owner is welcome to come to my place anytime and love me up if he wants.

Sexy new friend! Natalie

There's been a lot of traffic around here lately. Natalie came over for the day. She's a new friend and not to be confused with the several other Natalie's that come over. It doesn't seem very smart for these humans to have the same name. It's probably why they often seem confused.

She wasn't here long enough to learn how to feed me. I learned one thing about her though ... she really likes mashed potatos! Fancy Feast doesn't make cans of mashed potatos so I have no idea if she knows what she's talking about or not.

But I don't care - she really likes me and is prepared to scratch me head whenever I rub up against her.

Sexy New Friend - Tarra

Tarra's one of my favorites. She's not really a new friend. She's been here before. One things for sure - she knows how to treat a cat. She's a very experienced girl. I mean she's experienced with me. That's all I meant by that. She's so warm and smells nice - she's the complete package!

She usually stays a couple days when she visits cuz she comes in from Vegas. That's always good for me. She knows where the Fancy Feast Tuna Feast with Gravy is in the morning so we always get along.

Life is good.

Rachel - another sexy new friend!

Rachel and Nicole came over today. They are both really pretty models from Washington. Why girls this pretty would want to hang out with my owner is beyond me.

This picture doesn't do her justice but then that wasn't my fault. She seems to like dogs more than cats and, frankly it showed in her attitude when she picked me up. Everyone around here seems to think they can just pick me up! She was holding me kinda funny and I flipped over which, as it turns out, gave me quite a face full! She's making that funny face because I, shall I say, extended my claws. Now what was really funny was when she decided she didn't want to hold me my claw grabbed her dress (see my right paw in the surveillance photo) and considerable hilarity ensued (as they say!). If my owner actually knew how to work that camera of his, he would have got a photo of THAT!

She was very nice but she needs some elementary lessons on how to handle cats. Especially VIP cats such as myself! And she should dump that yippy little Mexican dog of hers and get a real pet that would respect her as a woman - such as a cat like me. Not that I would go with her; I have it way too good here with savory Grilled Fancy Feast Seafood dinner with gravy two times a day!

Marie - my newest sexy new friend!

So it's a lazy Sunday afternoon and the door bell rings. It's really loud. I have enough trouble squeezing in my 18 hours of sleep everyday without being bothered by the doorbell. I wasn't expecting anybody so I had to investigate. By investigate I mean I lifted my head a little off of the pillow on the sofa and halfway opened one eye and saw the zipper of her jeans! I point this out because usually when I lift my head I'm expecting to see someone else's head. You know, like on top of their body. This girl is TALL! And she's got legs that don't end. uh oh ... that sounds a little predatory I guess. If I'm to believe the language in the last court injunction against me. Stupid dogs. But by traditional human measures, she's like around 6 feet tall! She's not like the shorties that usually wander around this dump.

So I don't know who the hell she is but right away she's like Oh what a cutie! and That's a great looking cat! and Does he mind if I pick him up?Where's she get off asking someone else if it's ok to pick me up?? In her defense she does seem to recognize that I'm special and unusually attractive. She doesn't seem like the type to dish out some Fancy Feast though.

It's rather obvious that if someone wants to pick me up - they should ask me. Since it's all about me! My owner goes like I don't care and it's getting all really annoying! Then this girl (people call her Marie) chases me down and gives me a big squeeze! (see surveillance photo) At first I thought what the heck?? But then she pulls me really close in and wants to bond with me.

I've got nothing against pretty girls wanting to bond with me! And I'm not going to start having problems with it now because she didn't know how to ask properly. I know not to look a gift horse in the mouth! Actually, I'm not even sure what that means, but it seems to fit somehow. I don't even like horses - they're too big, they smell alot and they don't poo in a litter box. Anyway, it turns out that she's pretty cool. She gets her picture taken alot which reminds me that the guy with the big camera hasn't taken my picture for several days. I think it's several days. It was at least 4 cans of Fancy Feast Ocean Buffet with Gravy ago. I don't worry about keeping time. Mostly because as long as I get fed I could care less. When you sleep 18 hours a day it's easy to lose track! HA!

She was fun but my owner (not the pretty one) kept chasing me off the set when I would try and see if she'd want to squeeze me some more. I'd welcome her back but I have no idea how to get ahold of her. I keep trying to let my litter changers know that I need a cat secretary to keep track of these kinds of things. An official cat secretary, not a temp or something! I could use a little more traffic like Marie around here. This place is about as exciting as being stuck in a drain pipe during the rain. One thing about her, she livens things up around this place! It's sure not lively right now. I'm going to take a nap so leave me alone.

Caretaker?? What's going on here?

Jennifer, my new caretaker!

So what's going on here you might be wondering. One of my litter changers (not the cute one) invites this person over and they're talking about me. My food needs, where my cancer pills are, and he even shows her my litter box! I know I'm a pretty public cat, being a celebrity and all, but where does he get off showing my litter box to a complete stranger? This isn't a rhetorical question! I'd like a damn answer to that!

I'm getting the feeling that the owners are going to desert me but there aren't any traveling things laying around like suitcases. I'm not very happy about this - as can be seen in the surveillance photo above. Now another thing becomes clear ... this chick works at Dr. Schoen's veterinary clinic & gulag. In fact, I overhear that she's a vet technician. I hear the word technician and I think of someone who is skilled at something - like maybe torturing cats!

I get abused around here only getting two feedings of Fancy Feast Sliced Ocean Fish Feast in Gravy a day and not getting petted nearly enough, but why call in a ringer? Well the next day I find out. The litter changers are leaving for a week and basically she's my babysitter! I'm 15 years old. Let's face it, when I was born she was probably in the 4th grade! I'm not sure what relevance that has, but I don't like being left in the care of strangers! My owners aren't good enough for me but at least they take care of my basic needs!

So here's the bottom line! She's been called in to "pill me" and make sure I got plenty of food and water. I'm getting a little tired of the new lingo around here. It's time to "pill Tommy" and referring to me as the "cancer cat." WTF!! The first day she comes I come out and she's all nice and stuff. Then like wham bang she's sticking pills down my mouth! She was pretty slick about this. I have to admit, even as street smart (and wilily) as I am, she got the best of me that day. She reminds me of the vet tech at the cancer clinic I go to. Vet techs are sneaky - I'm not going to mince words. I guess that's like a big job requirement or something!

She feeds me right after this and is serving me the Fancy Feast Grilled Tuna in Gravy (one of my favorites!). Then she leaves. Just walks out.

The next day she comes I'm not quite so trusting. But she pets me and talks to me and then damnit! she sticks two pills down my throat!! I'm getting kind of tired of this routine! But she serves the Fancy Feast Grilled Tuna in Gravy again and at least she knows how to make up for being so rude. She pets me quite a bit that day. I think she feels guilty sticking pills in me. I'll try and use that against her for more food.

Basically this routine goes on for a week. I'm getting lonely with just one visit a day with the bare minimum of adoration and one (not two) feedings a day. This ain't right. One of the four treaties in the Geneva Convention sets standards for non-combatant cat prisoners and that's just what I feel like - a prisoner in my own home! IS ANYBODY LISTENING! I'll look into this and Jennifer better hope that I don't find a good international cat law attorney to take my case because only one feeding a day of Fancy Feast has got to be against the law. That only makes sense!

A week alone got to be pretty dreary even with sleeping 18 hours a day and I have to admit I liked that at least Jennifer would come by. I don't think I'll hold her sticking pills down me against her. She was basically pretty nice to me and I think what happened was she was paid off by one of my owners (the mean one obviously) to do this to me. I hope she wasn't into all this just for the money because I'd hate to think the affection that came my way and the relationship (her admiration of me) that we developed wasn't real. At least she fed me the best Fancy Feast so she has good taste in cat food like my owners. She came by and scratched me behind the ears (it's my weak spot) and her and the big owner talked for awhile and nobody shoved pills down my mouth. I wasn't paying attention to them because it probably wasn't important and I was getting my head scratched as I just mentioned.

At least my owners got someone who is highly qualified to look after me. Most cats (and I'm not "most cats"!!) just get a neighbor or kid to come by. My status apparently requires a highly trained veterinary technician to visit me daily. She has 9 years of professional experience and she has a cat of her own. I won't settle for less in the future.

Things are starting to get back to normal around here. It's about feeding time so I gotta go!