Monday, August 17, 2009


OMG!! WTF!! If there was ever a time for internet acronyms, it is NOW! Do I have a story to tell today! And it's a good case for health care reform too! I'm sure your attention is drawn by the images of utter horror that can be seen below. I don't want to come off hysterical or nothing, but I'm used to excellent medical care. My two oncologists at California Veterinary Specialists are board certified. One even wrote the textbook on cat cancer! My cardiologist is board certified. And my radiologist is board certified although he has a funny last name. The only medical personnel who has actually come see me at home has been Jennifer (a real sweetie) who is a highly trained vet tech from the Canyon Crest Animal Hospital (located in the upscale Canyon Crest neightborhood where I live).
SO, I ask --- What the hell were my owners thinking when they invited a voodoo nurse over to give me a shot!! (see above surveillance photo) We get weirdos visiting all the time around this hole, but I got to admit, a voodoo nurse is going to catch almost any cat off guard! I mean only some kind of wackjob would expect a voodoo nurse to walk in the door, right??

I don't like shots in the first place. I have to go get a damn blood test every month! And even with all the steroids they pump me with for my illness, I was plain afraid! Actually it was that special kind of afraid you get with voodoo nurses. In case anyone isn't buying this rather incredible story, please note the condition of the syringe (with attached needle, I might add!). That's right! It's an EMPTY syringe! She shot me up with some kind of stuff. And unless she's a certified medical practitioner (and let's face it, I think this is doubtful), I'm wondering what kind of curse she gave me. Did she inject me with chicken blood? Voodoo types sacrifice chickens and use chicken blood for all kinds of unspeakable acts. I'd go into more detail, but like I said, they are unspeakable. Not that I care what happens to chickens. Chickens are just big birds. They deserve whatever happens to them anyway. All this probably doesn't make any difference. I take a human cancer drug. If I got something in me that kills cancer, I'm sure it can deep six whatever voodoo curse she injected into me!

I don't think she was a legitimate voodoo nurse. I'm pretty sure she was undead though. She has autopsy scars. She's the first person I've met with autopsy scars! Maybe she escaped from the morgue! HA!
It was a weird situation for sure. But I headed out back, got a drink out of the bird bath, took a big stretch and then headed off for a nap. I don't think the voodoo curse she injected me with will do me any harm.

I don't buy all that kind of voodoo, superstitious, quasi-religious mumbo jumbo. This is a world of science and that's why I go to all my board certified specialists for my medical care. They are trained in science stuff. Plus, when you got 9 lives you don't have to worry about voodoo curses anyway. If this happens again, I'll just sink a pair of claws into her! That's how I give "injections!"