Thursday, August 7, 2008

Hunting Wild Game!! Implications for Backyard Eco-systems

I'm a little annoyed; I'll be honest. As can be seen in this first forensic photo I returned to the homestead having bagged a bird. I mean - it wasn't exactly big game, but it sure was fun sneaking up on it and pouncing on its little feathery body and watching its little soul rise to heaven as I crunched his puny little neck!
Naturally, I had to bring it home. Most cats like to fly under their owner's radar, but when it comes to snagging wild game, we are basically show-offs. I'm not being immodest, that's just how us cats roll. We're supposed to use our four big canine teeth for something! It's no big deal.

The problem is that, and I think we all see what the problem is going to be, the current female resident of this house seem rather unappreciative of my efforts. I present the second photo as Exhibit B where it should be obvious that she is restraining me from the trophy lunch I just caught.

I gotta say - this kind of treatment gets old. The backyard has what I would consider to be a total excess of birds. Backyards are important not only to the home owner, and to any guest of the house, and to many wildlife species as well. The backyard provides these species with major habitat requirements: food, cover, space, and water (there's a big swimming pool that serves as a major mouse drowning station). As the only cat in this place, it is my responsibility to manage these species in a way that is sensitive to wildlife needs. Especially MY needs! Clearly these two homeowners need to include my activities in their backyard species management plan. It's the way of the wild!

I admit that birds, such as the one that I murdered, can provide many aesthetic and recreational benefits to the homeowner. Watching me hunt for mice or a little featured creature or even a red-backed salamander hiding under a bush can add beauty and enjoyment to everyone's day. The humans around here need to recognize the ecological services provided by ME and how I benefit the entire backyard ecosystem. For example, worms keep the soil healthy. In a similar way, birds, such as sparrows, as any ecologist will tell you, deserve to be murdered by cats - it's part of the natural order of things. That's the way it is or God wouldn't have made us cats cold-blooded killing machines! When I kill a bird I am evolving into a better cat and I have two owners who need to appreciate that a litle more!

So after all this, I'm pretty bushed and I am going to take a nap in my sleeping berth, that I might add, was hand made from exotic South American and African hardwoods that are quite expensive. I'm going to dream of wild life maagement for sure!

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

If I could vote for Prezident....

I'm sure getting sick and tired of that old guy and that young guy baggin' all over each other for no good reason. An then that old guy (the one with the white hair and wrinkles) thought he was clever and put Paris Hilton and Britney in an ad with Mr Bama. Which was real dumb. I know about all this because my litterchangers have CNN on all the time around here which is part of the reason I'm bored so much.

I hadn't heard of this Paris Hilton (I mean what are the chances of someone being named for a city and a hotel chain??), but she seems pretty smart. So now she is running for prezident and I have to say she makes at least as much sense as the two men.
See more funny videos at Funny or Die

If the laws get changed in time for cats to vote,
I am voting for her.

She's smart and she's plenty hot!