Melissa - my sexy new friend!

It's been awhile since I've introduced another sexy new friend in my Tommy's Sexy New Friends series. It was hard to imagine that there would be anything good about a drought. Actually, I wouldn't spend time imagining a drought anyway since it's not in my job description, which to summarize, involves eating, sleeping, and getting petted (although not in any particular order). But, oh boy, did that drought end with Melissa stopping by!

I thought something was up when they had me locked out in the back yard when she arrived. I kept trying to get someone's attention at each back door and was getting ignored or forgetten about. Neither of which are forgivable, btw. She was there for quite awhile before someone noticed me and let me in. To which Melissa said Hey, I was wondering where Tommy was! That felt good. It's nice to know at least someone was interested in my company! I will be filing neglect charges against the owners next week. I hope they're paying attention! I hope they read this because I'm willing to negotiate on this, however, I will drive a hard bargain that will involve a lot of cans of Fancy Feast's Grilled Tuna Feast with Gravy and being fed more often than the gulag style 2-meals-a-day thing that passes for cat care around here. And it has to be the one with gravy. In case anyone involved is listening. If you get my drift.

It was all about showing me the luv with Melissa around! We could use more of that around here. We could use more of Melissa around here because at least then I wouldn't be forgotten out in the back yard! She's really smart too since you have to be smart to graduate from Cornell. That's an outstanding school because that's where my board certified cardiologist and my board certified oncologist each got their degrees. That makes me a first class cat! When I'm being squezzed my brain doesn't work like normal but I didn't hear anything about vet school. I don't think Melissa is planning on being a vet though because she didn't dress like my vets dress. At all. She would make a good vet though because she has a good bedside manner as can be seen in the photo above. Obviously there was no bed but I'm just sayin' that she had good cat communication and lovin' skills. She can visit anytime as far as I'm concerned. Not that anyone would care about what I think given how I was left out in the back yard all afternoon!!!

Behind the Scenes! (at my New Year's Portrait)

This first one is my standard laying on a Husker blanket trying to look interested shot. I'm carrying this off well except I notice that it wouldn't have hurt one of the people to have given me a good brushing before this. They usually have a fur person here for me but I guess there was a little too much eggnog being passed around. I'm not completely sure about that probably because I know for sure that there was plenty of catnip floating around this joint over the last few days!

The second portrait is where they made me actually get up. I don't mind getting my picture taken but it's asking quite a bit to have me go out of my way like this. But no matter, I sure look good.

In this third photo I doing what the humans call copping an attitude. I'm not sure exactly what that means, but apparently I do that a lot. I just call it making my damn needs apparent to those who can't seem to figure it out right away!! I practically live here - you'ld think they'd get used to having a celebrity in the house. They'll be totally screwed if Madonna decides to stay over sometime!

Now for a behind the scene shot!!

Since most of you aren't celebrity cats (such as myself) I thought I'd show you what it looks like when you're getting a fancy New Year's celebrity portrait taken. You have a light to make sure your fur on the top is lit correctly. And then the crew has to have a light on each side since I have two sides. Otherwise, it would probably look weird or something. Then there's yet another light kinda in front of you (not visible here). That one flashes right in your face! This kind of thing is fun for awhile but eventually, being the center of attention like this gets a little tedious. But a cats like me got to do this to keep the fans happy. So I hope you're all happy!

Huskergirl Miss September gives good squeeze!! (to me!)

It was Monday. No good bowl games today. I mean who wants to watch Rutgers play? I didn't even know that Rutgers had a football team. To be honest, I never heard of Rutgers - I don't actually keep up with all these colleges and stuff. I'm quite content to pay attention to the Huskers and I know in a few days they're going to kick the tail off of a Clemson football team. Nebraska plays on January 1st! That's a real bowl game day.

Anyways, I always like it when Natalie visits me. She's a regular around here and I suspect that she comes to just get her photo taken with me. I wouldn't be the first time someone tries to piggyback on my reputation as the celebrity Huskercat!

She moved to Alabama so I don't get to see her as much. It's a real mystery to me why someone would actually move to Alabama. If you were kidnapped then it would make sense. There are probably lots of kidnappers in Alabama.

I mean how weird is a state when their county sheriff pleads guilty to perjury and an ethics violation to stay out of prison when his crime was stealing over $9,000 for buying over $9,000 in Mardi Gras beads using the school vending machine money. I ask you how much shit for brains does a person have to have to even ponder such a high crime??? I'm sure his wife/sister didn't offer any good advice. I'm glad I live in California. Our weirdness is usually interesting and not obvious evidence of generations of inbreeding. At least we don't bury our dead in roadside graves!!

Plus, I doubt that Fancy Feast would stoop to lowering themselves to selling their Tuna Feast with Gravy in Alabama. I'm sure there's plenty of road kill innards to keep their cats all plumped up. I'm sure they can 'splain it all good by citing some Old Testament injunction about wasting food or something like that.

I suppose I'm just upset that Natalie had to leave again. She gives good squeeze! (as can be seen in the above photos) And she is Miss September in the new Huskergirls Calendar! How cool is that!! I get squeezed by Miss September! She's very classy looking. I hang out with the best - that's for sure!

She had red hair when she came over, but had black hair in her Huskergirl photo. Hell, one time she even had pink hair! Well, what can I say - this is California! I got to see if I can be in this calendar next year. In fact, I can't figure out why I wasn't asked!!

Merry Christmas 2008! What Santa brought me!

HO HO HO is the word of the day it would seem! Santa Claus came to visit or so I'm told. He's not part of our cat mythology but from what I can gather he's some fat guy who doesn't know how to shave and is old enough to retire. And he's known for delivering the goods so he's my kind of guy!

The owners made me sit on this box for my "Christmas picture." Sounds like I get one picture a year taken or something. I get my picture taken all the time. That's why they have a special photographer for me. All celebrities have their own photographer! But they can take my picture if they want - as long as there's loot to be had! I've already noticed that my sock has three candy canes but the others only have one. This bodes well. For me!

Presents are being opened and I smell something special. I can't figure it out. Us cat's have a special smell organ in our mouth and so I can always figure things out better if I smell with my mouth. Bet you didn't know that cats had this. It's just one more reason in a long list of reasons why cats are superior to dogs. I mean dogs can smell better than cats, but that's not going to make up the difference for being retarded in the brain now is it? Dogs are stupid.

It turns out that the one owner (the big one) gave the cute owner a hair skrunchy made out of mink fur! It was in her Christmas stocking. Wow - they killed a mink just to make a hair scrunchy.  Well, that's ok by me. Minks are sneaky little things and all you PeTA fans who are thinking that it's not fair for a mink to get killed to make a hair scrunchy I'd like to remind you that this mink probably had it coming for one reason or another so there's no reason to be losing sleep over this. For god's sake don't be a wuse about something like this! Save your emotional torment for something worthwhile - like how there might be a Fancy Feast Grilled Tuna in Gravy shortage! I have nightmares about that!!

My owners go crazy about cat stuff. They're complete suckers for any cat crap. Somebody has this all figured out because someone gave them some dish towels with cats on them (see surveillance photo above).  Whoever gave them these towels must live in a double wide somewhere because if they had any taste at all they would have gotten some towels with Maine Coons since we are so much more better looking than the mangy cat on the towel. 

So what did Santa bring me? That's what you really wanted to know! I got a bunch of cans of Fancy Feast Tuna Feast in Gravy (my all time fav!); and a can of Fancy Feast Tuna Feast (the kind without gravy), and a can of Fancy Feast Ocean Whitefish & Tuna Feast in Gravy. The feeders know I like the Fancy Feasts in gravy the most so I'm not sure what's up with the Tuna Feast without gravy, but I don't want to seem ungrateful, although I wish they'd pay a little closer attention to my needs than this. But I did pretty well for myself and it's time to be reflective about all the feral cats who go hungry although, I don't like to reflect on that for too long because Christmas is all about having stuff (like Fancy Feasts) and not about being down on your luck. 

Warming my tail!

It gets pretty cold here in California in the winter. It was down to like 50 or so today! So they made me a nice fire to supplement the warmth that my lush fur coat can provide me. I don't have much to say. This is pretty much an excuse to show you another really cool picture of me.

Save big cats - not dogs

I know I got it pretty good when I see this animal shelter stuff. Since I got it so good here (not that I'd let the humans know that) I'd actually rather not be reminded of the sorry state of other animals. It harshes my mellow. But my friend, Carole Baskin, who runs that Big Cat Rescue place emailed me personally. I think she likes hangin' with celebrities which explains why she emailed me.

But I'm recommending that you vote for the Big Cat Rescue place in Florida. Not because Florida is a nice place, because it's not. But you gotta support the big cats. Plus, when you support them you know for sure you're not supporting dogs like at a humane society or something like that. The other thing is that the Big Cat place is in first place. Might as well go with a winner I always say!

Cats - good; Dogs - suck. Darwin says so!

I'm not a scientist or anything. I don't have time to go to college and let's face it .. they wouldn't admit a cat anyway. I spend too much time sleeping and eating. Hmm .. so maybe I would be a good college student ... But all this doesn't mean I don't watch for the latest advances in evolutionary anthropology especially when they prove that cats are betters than dumbass dogs. Cats are better hunters (I think everyone knew this), but apparently we're much more stealthy than dogs, which obviously makes us smarter. Dogs are better at long distance chases, which obviously shows they're stupider. Why put in extra work if you don't need to? Evolution always favors those who can be strategically lazy - it's all common sense really.

Their data shows that cats have "a previously unrecognized mechanical relationship in which crouched postures are associated with changes in footfall pattern, which are in turn related to reduced mechanical energy recovery." I'm not exactly sure what that means, but another scientist said that "cats hold the edge in all-around hunting skill. Overall, they've fine-tuned their system." That validates what I've said for a long time - I'm a finely-tuned system. I'm glad science is finally getting around to studying this. They would have figured this out a long time ago if their scientists were as good as the ones that made Fancy Feast's Tuna Feast with Gravy. Oh well.