SICKO! (that would be me)

I've not been feeling very perky lately. I've been shedding more pounds. I weighed in at 11 pounds last summer. Down to 9 around Christmas and now down to 8 1/2 pounds! I was wasting away and getting kind of surly about it (see surveillance photo of me looking surly). My motivation to patrol the backyard is pretty much gone. This is unfortunate since that is one of my major responsibilities around here. There are days I don't even bother to go outside.

It's been getting serious. I know that because my owner (the big one) weighs my cat food every time they pop open a can of Fancy Feast (I may be sick, but FF is still my favorite! Especially the Grilled Tuna in Gravy). They keep track of how much I eat. They don't weigh the hard food though which makes me feel sneaky every time I eat it. I get put on a scale every day too. I feel like I'm in some kind of research study with all the data they're collecting on me. Maybe I'm a case study and going to be talked about in a veterinary medicine journal! That would be cool. If that happens I expect to be a co-author. None of it would happen without ME! I make science happen!

Anyway, to get to the point, I got myself dragged off to California Veterinary Specialists in Murietta. It was road trip time! Not that I was in the mood for a road trip. I had an appointment with Dr Proulx - he's my main doctor. But the first thing that has to happen is a scan of my insides. That makes sense - it's not like I have a fur problem. Technically it's called abdominal ultrasonography. When you call it that, it sounds like it's going to cost alot!

So the guy who scans my insides is Dr Michael Sueda, DVM. He's a Diplomat of some kind from the American College of Veterinary Internal Medicine. I guess - it's something like that. He's got one of those fancy titles like Dr Proulx. My owner is really impressed with fancy titles like that! Me too - the fancier the title, the better the care! I think that's pretty obvious. Dr. Sueda is an internist who grew up in Hawaii which is a country I'd like to visit since there are so many fish there. That's probably where Fancy Feast gets their Tunas.

Maggie, the friendliest Vet Tech in these parts, took all these pictures. They knocked me out with something to get all this scanning stuff done so I think I can count on her as a witness. I didn't see that coming. But you can see my insides on the TV. It's not the first time I've been on TV, btw.
The person holding me down is Katie. Before she worked here she was in law enforcement and crowd control and has a military background. Actually I'm just guessing about that because of how good she was at holding me down. One doesn't get those skills by accident.

Turns out that I got all kinds of things wrong with me! The side of my neck was getting puffed out. So I'm getting bigger and weighing less. It's one of those cat conundrums that Dr Prouix is always talking about. That's a fancy way of acknowledging that I'm a complicated puss. The diagnosis? I got an abscess. That's a nice way of saying that I got a lump on me that is oozing some disgusting pus. Yuk. (puss and pus are etymologically unrelated, btw. Just sayin')

I can thank that low-life, trailer trash, white cat with tabby patches for the abscess. We got into it and he sunk his claws into the side of my neck. Since I run a family-friendly blog, I won't be specific about where I sunk my claws! HA! At any rate, if he doesn't have the kind of quality medical care that I get I suspect his low-life, trailer trash ass is dead! Not that I'm bitter about this or anything.

Anyways, they poked a hole in it and let it drain. There I go losing some more weight! Notice that some of these people have blue hands. I suspect they may be from that Avatar documentary about blue people on another planet. That may be a little far-fetched...

They even got a picture of the duo that did the number on my neck. They seem pretty pleased with themselves! They look pretty excited about having their paws around my neck!



So after all the blood tests, getting my abscess drained, getting my insides scanned, a thyroid test, some special blood test that they only do at Texas A&M and getting drugged up (not that I'm complaining about the drugged up part!), they toss me back into my cell. As anyone can see, there are pages and pages of documentation on my case. I think they're getting ready to publish a medical textbook about me. That would be a fascinating read.

I think these photos (taken in the backroom of the gulag) are pretty hardcore evidence that they were injecting me with something! When I'm actually sleeping I don't look that dopey so it had to be some kind of hardcore drug of some kind! Whatever it was, it turned me into a snooze muffin. Admittedly, a pus oozing, pancreatitic, asthma-laden, bite infected snooze muffin that violates one's stereotype of a snooze muffin. Oh well. Even a usually upbeat feline such as myself can recognize that some days are just going to suck bawls.

Dr Prouix had to summarize things to the owner. Dr Sueda had to give a report to him too. All that probably gave my owner brain overload. My owner asked right away if the news was horrible. The Doc said it's not horrible. I'm not an expert in human to human communication but it's not horrible seems very different than no, he's just dandy.

Yeah, today kinda sucked.

Ali - My sexy new friend!

There's so many people visiting me lately there's no denying my popularity now! Not that I'm planning on getting a big head or anything. Ali popped over the other day but somehow they didn't get a photo of me with her then. I can't tell you how hard it is to get reliable help. I think I might have been out back dining on mouse anyway.

Ali is wearing a bridal dress but I should probably clear up right away that we aren't getting married. A person can't marry a cat! Besides, I spend all my time worrying about me. I don't think she got married here because there wasn't a minister or some official kind of person around here.

She seemed pretty happy to see me (see photo) so I hope she comes around more often. Maybe she won't wait until she's about to go before giving me some hug! It's not like I'm hard to find. If I'm not sleeping on the owner's pillow, I'm probably on patrol in the backyard which is my major responsibility around here.

More pics of ME!

More pics, more pics!!

So here's the backyard where I chase lizards and murder little birds. I got it pretty good!!They kept bothering me for more pics so to get them off my back we took these pictures. I hope everyone loves the photos of me as much as I do!!

Here I am snoozing! It's a hobby of mine. I'm always good for a big yawn.

Ok - that's all for now!!

Melissa - my sexy new friend!

It's been awhile since I've introduced another sexy new friend in my Tommy's Sexy New Friends series. It was hard to imagine that there would be anything good about a drought. Actually, I wouldn't spend time imagining a drought anyway since it's not in my job description, which to summarize, involves eating, sleeping, and getting petted (although not in any particular order). But, oh boy, did that drought end with Melissa stopping by!

I thought something was up when they had me locked out in the back yard when she arrived. I kept trying to get someone's attention at each back door and was getting ignored or forgetten about. Neither of which are forgivable, btw. She was there for quite awhile before someone noticed me and let me in. To which Melissa said Hey, I was wondering where Tommy was! That felt good. It's nice to know at least someone was interested in my company! I will be filing neglect charges against the owners next week. I hope they're paying attention! I hope they read this because I'm willing to negotiate on this, however, I will drive a hard bargain that will involve a lot of cans of Fancy Feast's Grilled Tuna Feast with Gravy and being fed more often than the gulag style 2-meals-a-day thing that passes for cat care around here. And it has to be the one with gravy. In case anyone involved is listening. If you get my drift.

It was all about showing me the luv with Melissa around! We could use more of that around here. We could use more of Melissa around here because at least then I wouldn't be forgotten out in the back yard! She's really smart too since you have to be smart to graduate from Cornell. That's an outstanding school because that's where my board certified cardiologist and my board certified oncologist each got their degrees. That makes me a first class cat! When I'm being squezzed my brain doesn't work like normal but I didn't hear anything about vet school. I don't think Melissa is planning on being a vet though because she didn't dress like my vets dress. At all. She would make a good vet though because she has a good bedside manner as can be seen in the photo above. Obviously there was no bed but I'm just sayin' that she had good cat communication and lovin' skills. She can visit anytime as far as I'm concerned. Not that anyone would care about what I think given how I was left out in the back yard all afternoon!!!