Merry Christmas 2008! What Santa brought me!

HO HO HO is the word of the day it would seem! Santa Claus came to visit or so I'm told. He's not part of our cat mythology but from what I can gather he's some fat guy who doesn't know how to shave and is old enough to retire. And he's known for delivering the goods so he's my kind of guy!

The owners made me sit on this box for my "Christmas picture." Sounds like I get one picture a year taken or something. I get my picture taken all the time. That's why they have a special photographer for me. All celebrities have their own photographer! But they can take my picture if they want - as long as there's loot to be had! I've already noticed that my sock has three candy canes but the others only have one. This bodes well. For me!

Presents are being opened and I smell something special. I can't figure it out. Us cat's have a special smell organ in our mouth and so I can always figure things out better if I smell with my mouth. Bet you didn't know that cats had this. It's just one more reason in a long list of reasons why cats are superior to dogs. I mean dogs can smell better than cats, but that's not going to make up the difference for being retarded in the brain now is it? Dogs are stupid.

It turns out that the one owner (the big one) gave the cute owner a hair skrunchy made out of mink fur! It was in her Christmas stocking. Wow - they killed a mink just to make a hair scrunchy.  Well, that's ok by me. Minks are sneaky little things and all you PeTA fans who are thinking that it's not fair for a mink to get killed to make a hair scrunchy I'd like to remind you that this mink probably had it coming for one reason or another so there's no reason to be losing sleep over this. For god's sake don't be a wuse about something like this! Save your emotional torment for something worthwhile - like how there might be a Fancy Feast Grilled Tuna in Gravy shortage! I have nightmares about that!!

My owners go crazy about cat stuff. They're complete suckers for any cat crap. Somebody has this all figured out because someone gave them some dish towels with cats on them (see surveillance photo above).  Whoever gave them these towels must live in a double wide somewhere because if they had any taste at all they would have gotten some towels with Maine Coons since we are so much more better looking than the mangy cat on the towel. 

So what did Santa bring me? That's what you really wanted to know! I got a bunch of cans of Fancy Feast Tuna Feast in Gravy (my all time fav!); and a can of Fancy Feast Tuna Feast (the kind without gravy), and a can of Fancy Feast Ocean Whitefish & Tuna Feast in Gravy. The feeders know I like the Fancy Feasts in gravy the most so I'm not sure what's up with the Tuna Feast without gravy, but I don't want to seem ungrateful, although I wish they'd pay a little closer attention to my needs than this. But I did pretty well for myself and it's time to be reflective about all the feral cats who go hungry although, I don't like to reflect on that for too long because Christmas is all about having stuff (like Fancy Feasts) and not about being down on your luck. 

Warming my tail!

It gets pretty cold here in California in the winter. It was down to like 50 or so today! So they made me a nice fire to supplement the warmth that my lush fur coat can provide me. I don't have much to say. This is pretty much an excuse to show you another really cool picture of me.

Save big cats - not dogs

I know I got it pretty good when I see this animal shelter stuff. Since I got it so good here (not that I'd let the humans know that) I'd actually rather not be reminded of the sorry state of other animals. It harshes my mellow. But my friend, Carole Baskin, who runs that Big Cat Rescue place emailed me personally. I think she likes hangin' with celebrities which explains why she emailed me.

But I'm recommending that you vote for the Big Cat Rescue place in Florida. Not because Florida is a nice place, because it's not. But you gotta support the big cats. Plus, when you support them you know for sure you're not supporting dogs like at a humane society or something like that. The other thing is that the Big Cat place is in first place. Might as well go with a winner I always say!

Cats - good; Dogs - suck. Darwin says so!

I'm not a scientist or anything. I don't have time to go to college and let's face it .. they wouldn't admit a cat anyway. I spend too much time sleeping and eating. Hmm .. so maybe I would be a good college student ... But all this doesn't mean I don't watch for the latest advances in evolutionary anthropology especially when they prove that cats are betters than dumbass dogs. Cats are better hunters (I think everyone knew this), but apparently we're much more stealthy than dogs, which obviously makes us smarter. Dogs are better at long distance chases, which obviously shows they're stupider. Why put in extra work if you don't need to? Evolution always favors those who can be strategically lazy - it's all common sense really.

Their data shows that cats have "a previously unrecognized mechanical relationship in which crouched postures are associated with changes in footfall pattern, which are in turn related to reduced mechanical energy recovery." I'm not exactly sure what that means, but another scientist said that "cats hold the edge in all-around hunting skill. Overall, they've fine-tuned their system." That validates what I've said for a long time - I'm a finely-tuned system. I'm glad science is finally getting around to studying this. They would have figured this out a long time ago if their scientists were as good as the ones that made Fancy Feast's Tuna Feast with Gravy. Oh well.

How to tell if your cat is killing you.

No, No, NO. the website, catswhothrowupgrass.com is only advisory. Some humans have posted on their blogs some grave concerns about how this goes to a page about How to tell if your cat is plotting to kill you. It has signs like how if a cat is kneading on you it's not a sign of affection but that the cat is checking your internal organs for weaknesses.

Humans have reacted to this and I just wanted to point out how these warning signs are only mere suggestions in the cat world. They are far from clear cut indicators of cat behavior. They are not some kind of imperative. The site was clearly put together by some paranoid, conspiracy-minded dog lovers. Humans have no need to worry about cats. Dogs are the stupid and most digusting creatures in the animal kingdom. Humans should worry about dogs!

It doesn't take much time googling to discover that some of the most evil people have loved dogs. Hitler had a dog. I don't think much more needs to be said! Oh, and he named the dog Blondi. It takes some serious sick psychopathology to name your dog Blondi. I hate to succumb to Godwin's Law here but the facts speak for themselves. That ain't no cat sitting next to Hitler with its tongue hanging out drooling like a moron. And besides, pets are supposed to make their humans happy and I don't see a smile on Hitler's face. Hitler wasn't a pleasant person and I wouldn't be surprised if it was his dog's fault. And I'm not blaming that dog for the holocaust. Although I wouldn't be surprised, to be honest here.

We've all heard about Cruella de Ville. She's one of the more infamous dog lovers. She had a fetish for dalmations and made them into lovely coats. Although this is a horrible way to go for an animal it's a little hard to imagine that the dogs hadn't done something to deserve it. But that's just my opinion.

And remember I said they were disgusting? Well if you plug cat lovers into google you find the most fun stories and things to buy for your own cat.

However!!! If you plug dog lovers into google ... well, I really can't find the words for the creepy, disgusting stuff that dogs do to their humans, but I suspect any human with more than a box or rocks for a brain can imagine what you might find at a web site called doglovers.com! I think we know where the phrase man's best friend came from! Listen - I'm not making this shit up! If you're not buying this then maybe you need to just grow up and face reality!!!

People don't need to worry about us cats! That's all I got to say about this matter.

Halloween & Weird People

Well it's almost the end of Halloween. I never like Halloween because I rarely get the attention I deserve. Apparently black cats are the big deal on October 31. I get sick and tired of racial discrimination. I don't have anything against black cats. Hell, I have a black cat friend. It's just that you'd think we'd be past all that by now. It's not a practical problem though since I get to be the center of attention the other 364 days of the year. Not that I'm keeping track.

Anyway, that's not important. What happened was that the humans had a Halloween party. The people who came over were really weird. Everyone dressed up strangely. So I sought refuge in this new piece of furniture they moved in for the occassion. It was very cozy although it was way more room than I needed - I mean a human could have laid down in that thing. The guests seems a little creeped out with it which was fine by me. I prefer to be left alone when the house is full of weirdos. I'm glad this day is over.

Persephone (fellow cat, RIP) * snif *

My blog is where I talk about me. That's important because of all my fans and friends who are always wanting to know about my exciting life and just need their daily update on what the ol' Huskercat is up to. So I don't usually spend my blog time talking about other cats (they can get their own damn blog!). And by usually I mean never. And since I'm a cancer survivor I know about death and I know how important I am to my human owners. I know that because of all the $$ they spend on me at the clinic! HA!

Ok, but this blog entry isn't about me. I hate to be a sourpuss here but I think I need to say some things about a fellow puss who bit the dust a couple days ago. That cat would be Seph (or Persephone if you weren't a close friend). She's the in the photo below (the cute one - not the big guy who is sleeping - I assume he's sleeping. he might have just been hammered!)

Before I get started though, I'd like to point out that this photo appears to be surreptitiously taken. That guy is some kind of buddy of my owners which makes me and Seph buddies, in case anyone was wondering. That's how us cats roll. But that guy needs to get a firmer handle on his environment because nobody should allow people sneaking around taking pictures. That's just wrong. Although the guy seems lost in sleep, Seph clearly was annoyed with the intrusion into her personal space.

The above photo reflects how loved Seph was by this big guy. I don't know his name - my owner just refers to him as "Hey, Big Guy." He's no bigger than my owner though. I'm not surprised that my owner refers to him that way - hell, he calls me the cancer cat sometimes! Talk about insensitive! He's a jerk sometimes. And he wonders why I barf on his pillow! Anyways, I seem to be having trouble getting started on this. Bottom line is Seph is now in kitty heaven. She died - might as well get that on the table, ok? She was in pain due to cancer and things weren't going to get any better for her. As hard as it was, her owner had to have her put to sleep. My cancer is in remission and I have lots of blogs detailing my fight against this anti-cat disease along with photos, but this entry isn't about me (I have the hardest time not talking about me!). Whatever, anyway, as I'm sure I don't need to let humans know (even dumb ass humans - LOL) us cats are all about quality of life. We always take the shortest path to a better quality of life. With brief distractions to murder a mouse or bird that is. That's why humans know they need to keep showering us with affection and high quality catnip and soft, warm places to sleep. Oh, and BTW, I don't need any comments about murdering mice and birds. First of all there is an excess of them and, secondly, it's not like they don't have it coming.

What was great about Seph and her owner was that it was a relationship of mutual love and affection. I don't want to get all gushy but Seph had a rough start in this world. She was abused and then abandoned (and some people don't think there should be a death penalty!). It's surprising she lived to her old age of 16! But love conquers all (as some romantically afflicted sappy human once said). And that's not even true, but what I mean to say is that when she got adopted by her owner her life really turned around. Seph liked the good life (hey, show me a cat that doesn't! :) ), but she was a tough puss. She got hit by a car about 7 years ago and her doctors told her she would have to have her busted leg amputated. Well that was a crock of shit (I'm not going to mince words here!) and she pulled through. And she did that as a 4-legged cat, I might add! Her doctors were probably just trying to cover their asses. I've seen that before! Although not with my doctors. They are all board certified specialists and are very expensive and they read this blog so the last thing I want is for them to think that I have any doubts about them.

Seph's owner, the guy in the unstylish white get up, took this picture just before he made that last trip to the vet. That must have been hard, but he did the right thing. Taking her to the vet at this point in her life. The writing was on the wall and as I said earlier, we cats are all about quality of life. I constantly remind my owners about this which is why I get savory Fancy Feast twice a day. Seph must have been quite a character even for a cat. I'm sure we would have gotten along well, if you know what I mean. You know, before getting snipped. Since most of my readers aren't as worldly as I am, in Greek mythology, Persephone was all about the Earth's fertility as well as being associated with the Queen of the Underworld. In later myths, Persephone was the daughter of Demeter and Zeus. That kicks ass! Nowadays, Persephone is kind of known as an innocent maiden. From what I've heard of her owner (from my owner) the innocent maiden connotation probably had nothing to do with Seph! I'm just a year younger than Seph. As an older cat you get used to being called geezer cat or an old farty feline. So it's in this later phase of cat life that one really appreciates an owner who lavishes love and affection. It's good to know that Seph had all this. That's the point of humans - making their cats lives better and her owner understood this. Without getting too sappy, the world is a sadder place without her. Her owner is welcome to come to my place anytime and love me up if he wants.