Cats - good; Dogs - suck. Darwin says so!

I'm not a scientist or anything. I don't have time to go to college and let's face it .. they wouldn't admit a cat anyway. I spend too much time sleeping and eating. Hmm .. so maybe I would be a good college student ... But all this doesn't mean I don't watch for the latest advances in evolutionary anthropology especially when they prove that cats are betters than dumbass dogs. Cats are better hunters (I think everyone knew this), but apparently we're much more stealthy than dogs, which obviously makes us smarter. Dogs are better at long distance chases, which obviously shows they're stupider. Why put in extra work if you don't need to? Evolution always favors those who can be strategically lazy - it's all common sense really.

Their data shows that cats have "a previously unrecognized mechanical relationship in which crouched postures are associated with changes in footfall pattern, which are in turn related to reduced mechanical energy recovery." I'm not exactly sure what that means, but another scientist said that "cats hold the edge in all-around hunting skill. Overall, they've fine-tuned their system." That validates what I've said for a long time - I'm a finely-tuned system. I'm glad science is finally getting around to studying this. They would have figured this out a long time ago if their scientists were as good as the ones that made Fancy Feast's Tuna Feast with Gravy. Oh well.

How to tell if your cat is killing you.

No, No, NO. the website, catswhothrowupgrass.com is only advisory. Some humans have posted on their blogs some grave concerns about how this goes to a page about How to tell if your cat is plotting to kill you. It has signs like how if a cat is kneading on you it's not a sign of affection but that the cat is checking your internal organs for weaknesses.

Humans have reacted to this and I just wanted to point out how these warning signs are only mere suggestions in the cat world. They are far from clear cut indicators of cat behavior. They are not some kind of imperative. The site was clearly put together by some paranoid, conspiracy-minded dog lovers. Humans have no need to worry about cats. Dogs are the stupid and most digusting creatures in the animal kingdom. Humans should worry about dogs!

It doesn't take much time googling to discover that some of the most evil people have loved dogs. Hitler had a dog. I don't think much more needs to be said! Oh, and he named the dog Blondi. It takes some serious sick psychopathology to name your dog Blondi. I hate to succumb to Godwin's Law here but the facts speak for themselves. That ain't no cat sitting next to Hitler with its tongue hanging out drooling like a moron. And besides, pets are supposed to make their humans happy and I don't see a smile on Hitler's face. Hitler wasn't a pleasant person and I wouldn't be surprised if it was his dog's fault. And I'm not blaming that dog for the holocaust. Although I wouldn't be surprised, to be honest here.

We've all heard about Cruella de Ville. She's one of the more infamous dog lovers. She had a fetish for dalmations and made them into lovely coats. Although this is a horrible way to go for an animal it's a little hard to imagine that the dogs hadn't done something to deserve it. But that's just my opinion.

And remember I said they were disgusting? Well if you plug cat lovers into google you find the most fun stories and things to buy for your own cat.

However!!! If you plug dog lovers into google ... well, I really can't find the words for the creepy, disgusting stuff that dogs do to their humans, but I suspect any human with more than a box or rocks for a brain can imagine what you might find at a web site called doglovers.com! I think we know where the phrase man's best friend came from! Listen - I'm not making this shit up! If you're not buying this then maybe you need to just grow up and face reality!!!

People don't need to worry about us cats! That's all I got to say about this matter.

Halloween & Weird People

Well it's almost the end of Halloween. I never like Halloween because I rarely get the attention I deserve. Apparently black cats are the big deal on October 31. I get sick and tired of racial discrimination. I don't have anything against black cats. Hell, I have a black cat friend. It's just that you'd think we'd be past all that by now. It's not a practical problem though since I get to be the center of attention the other 364 days of the year. Not that I'm keeping track.

Anyway, that's not important. What happened was that the humans had a Halloween party. The people who came over were really weird. Everyone dressed up strangely. So I sought refuge in this new piece of furniture they moved in for the occassion. It was very cozy although it was way more room than I needed - I mean a human could have laid down in that thing. The guests seems a little creeped out with it which was fine by me. I prefer to be left alone when the house is full of weirdos. I'm glad this day is over.

Persephone (fellow cat, RIP) * snif *

My blog is where I talk about me. That's important because of all my fans and friends who are always wanting to know about my exciting life and just need their daily update on what the ol' Huskercat is up to. So I don't usually spend my blog time talking about other cats (they can get their own damn blog!). And by usually I mean never. And since I'm a cancer survivor I know about death and I know how important I am to my human owners. I know that because of all the $$ they spend on me at the clinic! HA!

Ok, but this blog entry isn't about me. I hate to be a sourpuss here but I think I need to say some things about a fellow puss who bit the dust a couple days ago. That cat would be Seph (or Persephone if you weren't a close friend). She's the in the photo below (the cute one - not the big guy who is sleeping - I assume he's sleeping. he might have just been hammered!)

Before I get started though, I'd like to point out that this photo appears to be surreptitiously taken. That guy is some kind of buddy of my owners which makes me and Seph buddies, in case anyone was wondering. That's how us cats roll. But that guy needs to get a firmer handle on his environment because nobody should allow people sneaking around taking pictures. That's just wrong. Although the guy seems lost in sleep, Seph clearly was annoyed with the intrusion into her personal space.

The above photo reflects how loved Seph was by this big guy. I don't know his name - my owner just refers to him as "Hey, Big Guy." He's no bigger than my owner though. I'm not surprised that my owner refers to him that way - hell, he calls me the cancer cat sometimes! Talk about insensitive! He's a jerk sometimes. And he wonders why I barf on his pillow! Anyways, I seem to be having trouble getting started on this. Bottom line is Seph is now in kitty heaven. She died - might as well get that on the table, ok? She was in pain due to cancer and things weren't going to get any better for her. As hard as it was, her owner had to have her put to sleep. My cancer is in remission and I have lots of blogs detailing my fight against this anti-cat disease along with photos, but this entry isn't about me (I have the hardest time not talking about me!). Whatever, anyway, as I'm sure I don't need to let humans know (even dumb ass humans - LOL) us cats are all about quality of life. We always take the shortest path to a better quality of life. With brief distractions to murder a mouse or bird that is. That's why humans know they need to keep showering us with affection and high quality catnip and soft, warm places to sleep. Oh, and BTW, I don't need any comments about murdering mice and birds. First of all there is an excess of them and, secondly, it's not like they don't have it coming.

What was great about Seph and her owner was that it was a relationship of mutual love and affection. I don't want to get all gushy but Seph had a rough start in this world. She was abused and then abandoned (and some people don't think there should be a death penalty!). It's surprising she lived to her old age of 16! But love conquers all (as some romantically afflicted sappy human once said). And that's not even true, but what I mean to say is that when she got adopted by her owner her life really turned around. Seph liked the good life (hey, show me a cat that doesn't! :) ), but she was a tough puss. She got hit by a car about 7 years ago and her doctors told her she would have to have her busted leg amputated. Well that was a crock of shit (I'm not going to mince words here!) and she pulled through. And she did that as a 4-legged cat, I might add! Her doctors were probably just trying to cover their asses. I've seen that before! Although not with my doctors. They are all board certified specialists and are very expensive and they read this blog so the last thing I want is for them to think that I have any doubts about them.

Seph's owner, the guy in the unstylish white get up, took this picture just before he made that last trip to the vet. That must have been hard, but he did the right thing. Taking her to the vet at this point in her life. The writing was on the wall and as I said earlier, we cats are all about quality of life. I constantly remind my owners about this which is why I get savory Fancy Feast twice a day. Seph must have been quite a character even for a cat. I'm sure we would have gotten along well, if you know what I mean. You know, before getting snipped. Since most of my readers aren't as worldly as I am, in Greek mythology, Persephone was all about the Earth's fertility as well as being associated with the Queen of the Underworld. In later myths, Persephone was the daughter of Demeter and Zeus. That kicks ass! Nowadays, Persephone is kind of known as an innocent maiden. From what I've heard of her owner (from my owner) the innocent maiden connotation probably had nothing to do with Seph! I'm just a year younger than Seph. As an older cat you get used to being called geezer cat or an old farty feline. So it's in this later phase of cat life that one really appreciates an owner who lavishes love and affection. It's good to know that Seph had all this. That's the point of humans - making their cats lives better and her owner understood this. Without getting too sappy, the world is a sadder place without her. Her owner is welcome to come to my place anytime and love me up if he wants.

Marie - my newest sexy new friend!

This is Marie who came over to visit for the day. She's from LA or Hollywood - some place like that. I don't think she's a movie star but I suppose she could be. As can be seen from this surveillance photo, she's got quite a thing for me! I guess her and my owner (the big one) go back quite aways. They took lots of pictures but I wasn't feeling very welcome when they would shoo me away. Cat's do not like being shooed away. It's getting pretty old how I have to go over this again and again. By going over it I'm referring to reminding them of my presence by brushing up against things and occasionally tipping their stuff over. I was snoozing in the next room on the sofa and heard Marie call for me several times. That was nice but I like to see a little more motivation from people when they want me to hang with them. She could have come looking for me. As Ellen Berkeley once said As every cat owner knows, nobody owns a cat. I don't just come trotting out when some person calls for me. If that's what someone wants it's obvious they need to drag themselves down to a dog pound and get one of those dumb, slobbering dogs before the dog pound staff exterminate their sorry asses. Or she could have asked my big owner about the most likely places to find me. She gives good squeeze though. I guess you could say she's someone who rubs me the right way! HA! That's pretty funny. They were talking about some pretty wacky stuff so I didn't hang around much. A suggestion for the future would be that they invite me over when they take a break in the work. There's no reason why they can't be petting me when they're just sitting there and talking. It's a complete waste of human energy! She drives a prius like my owners except that hers is red. My owners prius is blue. As the Huskercat it's easy to imagine why there's more red (you know - Go Big Red!) around here than most places. I don't get why we don't have a red battery car. This is a shockng lack of attention to detail around here.

Amo - the good life! Another one of my sexy friends!

It was good to see Amo again! She has given me the squeeze before and you didn't see me complaining! She was dressed up all snazzy and stuff and I thought maybe she was taking me out! But that's kind of silly - she wouldn't be taking a cat out! Not that there would be anything wrong with that. I like having a personal photographer around so they can capture all the love and affection that comes my way and you can sure see the loves coming from her! She clearly really really loves me. It's a good thing I deserve it so much!

Obviously I'm the huskercat. So I really appreciate it when folks around here dress like they care about the tradition of what I'm all about. Basically, I'm special and I am always pleased when others recognize that and dress for the occasion so to speak. Amo is always so bubbly and fun but she seems all moody in this pic which I don't understand. She seems like she's in the running for emo huskergirl! HA! That's pretty funny.

Now here's what's weird ... she drives a hearse. You know, like the car that hauls dead people to the graveyard. And it has a coffin in it. I strolled out there when her and one of my owners (the big one) had this picture taken and I got really creeped out! I like chewing on mice, but that was just goofy! But even with that, I don't think she's really emo. That's just a genre of softcore punk music that integrated unenthusiastic melodramatic teenyboppers who don't smile, but like high pitched overwrought lyrics and inaudible guitar rifts with tight wool sweaters, tighter jeans, itchy scarfs (even in the summer), ripped chucks with their favorite band's signature, black square rimmed glasses, and ebony greasy unwashed hair that is required to cover at least 3/5ths of the face at an angle. Or at least that's what I hear - I don't really know anything about them. As a cultural icon, I don't hang out at places where there would be a bunch of emo youth. I'm a little old for that! Plus, I'd probably just get trampled at one of those dumps. I have my reputation to consider and who likes whiney teenagers anyway. So she's not an emo. I think she has a pouty look like Brigitte Bardot. One could do worse than that! I was just catnipped and I've been snoozing for 12 hours. I'm hungry and need to get someone to put down a plate of savory Fancy Feast. I shouldn't blog when I'm in this state! I wish she would have squeezed me when she was in her Husker t-shirt! That would have been cool.

Find me on About.com's Cat Forum!

If you can't get enough of me on my blog or my web site, you should come visit the about.com cat forum. I have an account there and I hope that everyone there will enjoy me! There seem to be a lot of people there who love us cats and who seem like they know quite abit.