chillin' with Dave!

Dave's my buddy from Vegas and comes to see me a couple times a year. That's a 3 1/2 hour drive that he often does in a little under 3 hours. So somethings fishy with that.


He's a photographer in Vegas and always shoots me when he comes. It makes sense he would want to take pictures of me since he shoots people like Paris Hilton (she owns a hotel or something and is from France), Taylor Swift (a singer my owner likes) and Kimberly Kardashian (I have no idea who that is). He's done portraits of Jennifer Lopez (a hot singer), President Bush, and Karl Rove (I think I've heard that this Rove guy is some kind of evil criminal of some kind or a distant cousin to Satan, The Lord of Darkness). I don't really know who these people are, but I mention it because since he takes pictures of celebrities and big shots, that explains (by the process of analogy) why he would drive all the way here to take pictures of me. I'm using simple deductive logic here which I might add is highly recommended by Aristotle who lives in Greece and was used by Sherlock Holmes who was the most famous detective ever. Roger Bacon in the 13th century tried to push something call inductive logic which is vastly inferior to deductive logic. Although Roger was something of a failure as a philosopher/logician, he is best known for discovering a tasty meat treat that goes well with breakfast.  

Somehow Dave is able to put me in a trance. He does this every time he visits! He appears to be showing off in this photo. I think he gets lessons from one of those Vegas magicians. My owner tells stories of growing up on the farm where he could put chickens in a trance by putting their heads under their wing. Chickens just go right to sleep when you do that. The fun part comes when you then toss them in the air. That scares the shit out of a chicken!!! That's too damn funny!  Birds are stupid. Although my owner grew up on a farm, he was not "born in a barn" as I've heard many people ask him.

I'll post some super photos Dave took of me soon. I wish he'd give my owner a lesson or two. One thing my owner has proven is that having lots of cameras doens't make you a good photographer!

I hope Dave comes back soon. My quality of life goes up when he's around!

WE NEED HEALTH CARE REFORM NOW!!!

OMG!! WTF!! If there was ever a time for internet acronyms, it is NOW! Do I have a story to tell today! And it's a good case for health care reform too! I'm sure your attention is drawn by the images of utter horror that can be seen below. I don't want to come off hysterical or nothing, but I'm used to excellent medical care. My two oncologists at California Veterinary Specialists are board certified. One even wrote the textbook on cat cancer! My cardiologist is board certified. And my radiologist is board certified although he has a funny last name. The only medical personnel who has actually come see me at home has been Jennifer (a real sweetie) who is a highly trained vet tech from the Canyon Crest Animal Hospital (located in the upscale Canyon Crest neightborhood where I live).
SO, I ask --- What the hell were my owners thinking when they invited a voodoo nurse over to give me a shot!! (see above surveillance photo) We get weirdos visiting all the time around this hole, but I got to admit, a voodoo nurse is going to catch almost any cat off guard! I mean only some kind of wackjob would expect a voodoo nurse to walk in the door, right??

I don't like shots in the first place. I have to go get a damn blood test every month! And even with all the steroids they pump me with for my illness, I was plain afraid! Actually it was that special kind of afraid you get with voodoo nurses. In case anyone isn't buying this rather incredible story, please note the condition of the syringe (with attached needle, I might add!). That's right! It's an EMPTY syringe! She shot me up with some kind of stuff. And unless she's a certified medical practitioner (and let's face it, I think this is doubtful), I'm wondering what kind of curse she gave me. Did she inject me with chicken blood? Voodoo types sacrifice chickens and use chicken blood for all kinds of unspeakable acts. I'd go into more detail, but like I said, they are unspeakable. Not that I care what happens to chickens. Chickens are just big birds. They deserve whatever happens to them anyway. All this probably doesn't make any difference. I take a human cancer drug. If I got something in me that kills cancer, I'm sure it can deep six whatever voodoo curse she injected into me!

I don't think she was a legitimate voodoo nurse. I'm pretty sure she was undead though. She has autopsy scars. She's the first person I've met with autopsy scars! Maybe she escaped from the morgue! HA!
It was a weird situation for sure. But I headed out back, got a drink out of the bird bath, took a big stretch and then headed off for a nap. I don't think the voodoo curse she injected me with will do me any harm.

I don't buy all that kind of voodoo, superstitious, quasi-religious mumbo jumbo. This is a world of science and that's why I go to all my board certified specialists for my medical care. They are trained in science stuff. Plus, when you got 9 lives you don't have to worry about voodoo curses anyway. If this happens again, I'll just sink a pair of claws into her! That's how I give "injections!"