Tarra - one of my all time favorite sexxyist friends!

Yeah!! Tarra and Dave came to visit me before Christmas. She looks great in red which makes her pretty Huskery. A good match for Christmas too. While being so Huskery sort of takes the Christ out of Christmas it doesn't make much difference to me. As a Cat I still have 5 of my 9 lives left and I live in unrainy southern California so it's not like I have to worry about a lightening bolt from God! HA! Not that I'm here to offend God or anything. If any cat is going to heaven it will be me! That's for sure. And if I end up in Heaven, I'll sure miss my owners!!

This heaven thing though makes me wonder sometimes. Logically it seems like cats would end up in heaven because it's rather obvious all dogs will be going to hell. Surely an all-wise supernatural deity would have commonsense enough not to put cats and dogs together in the afterlife!! Plus, it's rather obvious God screwed up with making dogs in the first place. That was lame.

The problem is that theologians seem to agree that cats won't go to heaven. They point out that man was created superior to animals and that animals can’t be equal with him or some such bullshit. Maybe these theologians with their fancy PhDs need to read the Holy Book a little closer.

Here's where they get this idea: Then God said, "Let us make man in our image, in our likeness, and let them rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air, over the livestock, over all the earth, and over all the creatures that move along the ground" (Gen 1:26). Obviously cats are not fish, birds or livestock! We're also not "creatures" since that refers to monsters, Big Foot, dead dinosaurs, dragons and aliens from outer space. Plus, cats certainly have the ol' "breath of life" so I think God is looking out for us. Otherwise, why would we have 9 lives! This just makes sense.

I kinda got off the track here. Probably because of all this Christ in Christmas business. My owners don't seem to spend any time worshipping or going to Church so I'm assuming they're not big into that kind of stuff. For me ... I believe in God. Usually anyway. It makes sense if I don't think about it too much. And why chance it??? If I believe in God and end up in Heaven, yeah for me! If you don't believe in God and there is a Heaven, I think it's safe to say you're screwed!! Anyway - that's the Christmas message as I understand it.

Anyways, Merry Christmas everybody!!

Merry Christmas 2008! What Santa brought me!

HO HO HO is the word of the day it would seem! Santa Claus came to visit or so I'm told. He's not part of our cat mythology but from what I can gather he's some fat guy who doesn't know how to shave and is old enough to retire. And he's known for delivering the goods so he's my kind of guy!

The owners made me sit on this box for my "Christmas picture." Sounds like I get one picture a year taken or something. I get my picture taken all the time. That's why they have a special photographer for me. All celebrities have their own photographer! But they can take my picture if they want - as long as there's loot to be had! I've already noticed that my sock has three candy canes but the others only have one. This bodes well. For me!

Presents are being opened and I smell something special. I can't figure it out. Us cat's have a special smell organ in our mouth and so I can always figure things out better if I smell with my mouth. Bet you didn't know that cats had this. It's just one more reason in a long list of reasons why cats are superior to dogs. I mean dogs can smell better than cats, but that's not going to make up the difference for being retarded in the brain now is it? Dogs are stupid.

It turns out that the one owner (the big one) gave the cute owner a hair skrunchy made out of mink fur! It was in her Christmas stocking. Wow - they killed a mink just to make a hair scrunchy.  Well, that's ok by me. Minks are sneaky little things and all you PeTA fans who are thinking that it's not fair for a mink to get killed to make a hair scrunchy I'd like to remind you that this mink probably had it coming for one reason or another so there's no reason to be losing sleep over this. For god's sake don't be a wuse about something like this! Save your emotional torment for something worthwhile - like how there might be a Fancy Feast Grilled Tuna in Gravy shortage! I have nightmares about that!!

My owners go crazy about cat stuff. They're complete suckers for any cat crap. Somebody has this all figured out because someone gave them some dish towels with cats on them (see surveillance photo above).  Whoever gave them these towels must live in a double wide somewhere because if they had any taste at all they would have gotten some towels with Maine Coons since we are so much more better looking than the mangy cat on the towel. 

So what did Santa bring me? That's what you really wanted to know! I got a bunch of cans of Fancy Feast Tuna Feast in Gravy (my all time fav!); and a can of Fancy Feast Tuna Feast (the kind without gravy), and a can of Fancy Feast Ocean Whitefish & Tuna Feast in Gravy. The feeders know I like the Fancy Feasts in gravy the most so I'm not sure what's up with the Tuna Feast without gravy, but I don't want to seem ungrateful, although I wish they'd pay a little closer attention to my needs than this. But I did pretty well for myself and it's time to be reflective about all the feral cats who go hungry although, I don't like to reflect on that for too long because Christmas is all about having stuff (like Fancy Feasts) and not about being down on your luck.