Friday, April 10, 2009

Kelly - Not a sexy NEW friend because she's visited me lots of times!

Wow! It was nice to see Kelly again! It had been like 6 months since she visited last. She has to come in from Las Vegas which is a long ways away. Or so I'm told. It's not like anyone has taken me there! I'm obviously worth people traveling long distances. I'm kind of like Baby Jesus since people came from a long way to visit him although I bet he didn't appreciate it much since he was just a baby. I'm not being critical of Baby Jesus - I'm just saying human babies seem sort of stupid. It's like they don't know anything which science has proved, by the way. The last thing I need is a strike against me getting into cat heaven because I pissed off Jesus! It's frankly very questionable that I would get in anyways. I just know that if eating birds and murdering lizards is against the heaven rules, I'm in some serious trouble! But I doubt if birds and lizards have souls so who knows! I might get in after all because if they don't have souls then all my bird and lizard killing sprees would be a public service. Dogs certainly don't have souls - that's pretty obvious and they're retarded too.

But it was about time that she renewed our friendship which involves me getting brushed and petted lots - in case anyone is paying attention. As the first surveillance photo demonstrates I had things to do and places to go but she insisted on some serious public displays of affection (see second photo for proof of this!). I'm not complaining - she's more important than going out and chasing lizards. Especially since it's wasted time since the owners won't let me bring them in. It's really disturbing when humans don't appreciate the pleasure of a fresh kill. Yum!

She had just got back from school or something. I'm concluding that from how she was dressed. I actually don't know where she was. She's very pretty and even more importantly smells good. She's certainly smart enough for school since she has figured out that I eat better if I'm being petted. It makes dinner more interesting somehow.

I think this was her third time to come visit. It's hard to keep track with all my visitors and all. I think sleeping 18 hours a day affects my memory sometimes too. I'm not sure about that though - I don't really remember. And who cares really ... as long as the Fancy Feast Grilled Tuna in Gravy keeps finding its way into my bowl.

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