Friday, December 5, 2008

How to tell if your cat is killing you.

No, No, NO. the website, catswhothrowupgrass.com is only advisory. Some humans have posted on their blogs some grave concerns about how this goes to a page about How to tell if your cat is plotting to kill you. It has signs like how if a cat is kneading on you it's not a sign of affection but that the cat is checking your internal organs for weaknesses.

Humans have reacted to this and I just wanted to point out how these warning signs are only mere suggestions in the cat world. They are far from clear cut indicators of cat behavior. They are not some kind of imperative. The site was clearly put together by some paranoid, conspiracy-minded dog lovers. Humans have no need to worry about cats. Dogs are the stupid and most digusting creatures in the animal kingdom. Humans should worry about dogs!

It doesn't take much time googling to discover that some of the most evil people have loved dogs. Hitler had a dog. I don't think much more needs to be said! Oh, and he named the dog Blondi. It takes some serious sick psychopathology to name your dog Blondi. I hate to succumb to Godwin's Law here but the facts speak for themselves. That ain't no cat sitting next to Hitler with its tongue hanging out drooling like a moron. And besides, pets are supposed to make their humans happy and I don't see a smile on Hitler's face. Hitler wasn't a pleasant person and I wouldn't be surprised if it was his dog's fault. And I'm not blaming that dog for the holocaust. Although I wouldn't be surprised, to be honest here.

We've all heard about Cruella de Ville. She's one of the more infamous dog lovers. She had a fetish for dalmations and made them into lovely coats. Although this is a horrible way to go for an animal it's a little hard to imagine that the dogs hadn't done something to deserve it. But that's just my opinion.

And remember I said they were disgusting? Well if you plug cat lovers into google you find the most fun stories and things to buy for your own cat.

However!!! If you plug dog lovers into google ... well, I really can't find the words for the creepy, disgusting stuff that dogs do to their humans, but I suspect any human with more than a box or rocks for a brain can imagine what you might find at a web site called doglovers.com! I think we know where the phrase man's best friend came from! Listen - I'm not making this shit up! If you're not buying this then maybe you need to just grow up and face reality!!!

People don't need to worry about us cats! That's all I got to say about this matter.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

ok dude you need to shut the fuck up about dogs ... cuz for one dogs love humans .. the only reason why any dog would hurt a human is if they were treated like shit in the first place by another human ... cats on the other hand hate humans .. they think that theyre ur owner they have no affection for you if they want something then they will take it cats go crazy out of no where they dont need to be mistreated .. ur just a paranoid piece of shit .. fuckin homo get a life do something productive with ur life instead of antagonizing dogs when they do nothing to u .. fuckin cock sucker

Anonymous said...

Seriously, you need to shut the fuck up Mr. Whiskerfuckington or whatever you call yourself you psychopath. YOUR the one pretending to be a cat. I don't understand how anyone could love a cat more than a dog. Could a cat wake you up when your house is on fire? No. They'ed save themselves and leave your ass to burn. The only reason your cats (I'm assuming you have more than 20 or so) stay with you is because you feed them and clean up their shit. If you stop feeding them they'll leave but dogs will stay with you until they die. I can't understand who could love a piss smelling cat over a loyal, lovable dog.