Liam Tommy the Huskercat

Huskercat Game Prediction!!

2011-09-16T17:02:00.000-07:00

Nebraska 28 - Washington 21

That's right - it won't be easy tomorrow and the Huskers will have trouble with two drives but come away with field goals on both.

The Huskies can suck on that!!

I'll have my web guy post some pics of me watching the game!

Scandal!! What's the problem with feral cats hanging out at the UN!!

2011-09-15T22:18:00.000-07:00

This was a disturbing story of racism and discrimination. There is no reason why feral cats shouldn't be allowed to live at the UN. The UN better be careful or the feral cat attorneys will take them to International Court! Cats have rights. Sorry the thing plays a stupid commercial in the beginning.

268 Feral Cats Removed From U.N. Headquarters

TWO WEEKS!!!! WHERE'S JACK THE CAT???

2011-09-11T20:28:00.000-07:00

American Airlines lost this ladies cat!!!!

Story here. I tweeted about it .... this is SAD!

PS - as a cat I deeply resent this whole "tweeted" business. Birds ... lame!

Big Win #2!! Fresno State goes down!

2011-09-10T21:22:00.000-07:00

Hey Huskercat Fans!!

So today was the big day for game #2 with Fresno State. We never played them before. I don't know why, but it may have something to do with Fresno not actually being a state. The football rules specifically say that college teams have to be in the US of A and you don't need to be that worldly to know that the USA has 50 states and Fresno isn't one of them!

Note the empty bird feeder. If my owners knew what they were doing they would put some bird food in it for my entertainment and dining pleasure. Once I actually jumped from the ground and latched onto that bird feeder! That's like 5 feet (or 1.52 meters for my European friends). The problem with that is you don't have a paw free to snatch a bird.

Going into Games #2 we are undefeated!! That sounds better than saying we've won 1 game. Well ... 4pm rolled around and the game is starting. Time for me to perch myself in front of the TV.

To be honest the first half of this game really blew chunks. Sloppy tackles, fumble, lame passing for us and Fresno State played really good. Maybe you have to play this way if you're in the Big 10. I don't know. The people who run the Big 10 aren't very smart. If you count the number of teams in the Big 10 you'll come up with 12 assuming some basic numeric literacy. Twelve is not the same as 10 the last time I checked.

Note the level of fan dissatisfaction. Nebraska fans are very civil when unhappy. Not like Colorado fans/cult members who throw bottles and snowballs when they get unhappy. Colorado fans are evolutionarily speaking just one missing link more advanced than chimpanzees who like to throw poop. Evolution is science so this has to be correct.

At half-time I got pretty hungry!

Off to the Friskies bowl. For the record, I didn't ignore the Nebraska Cheerleaders.

Football action caught in midair! It would have been really exciting had our player actually caught the ball! This wasn't a good omen (not that I believe in omens!).

The coach must have said something pretty convincing because the Huskers turned things around in the second half! 42 - 29 is how it turned out with us getting the 42. I hope the coach tells them his little pep talk at the beginning of the next game rather than waiting around like he did this time!

I accurately predicted a touchdown at this point in the game!

So we won! Yea for us!! 2 - 0, pretty good. But our guys better figure out the problems before next week. Home field advantage isn't going to carry the day against Washington (named after the first President of the USA).

My Birthday Party!!! I'm THREE!

2011-09-03T22:48:00.000-07:00

There was quite a bit of celebration around here this weekend with it being my birthday and all. Actually my birthday was last week but the powers to be around here seem to have some priority problems.

They got me a cake - marble with white frosting! That would be great if I even liked cake! I sniffed it and it didn't seem to have the yummy odors that I would expect for food fit for a VIP cat such as myself. I'll have Friskies send them the memo. I did get a new container of Kosmic Catnip. That's first class stuff.

This is also my 1 year anniversary of living here and being the Huskercat! A year ago I was rescued from the Pet Adoption Center (PAC). I don't know why they call it "rescued" - it's really not an appropriate term. It's not like it's a concentration camp or something! It's also called the Mary S. Roberts Pet Adoption Center which is better because it sounds more fancy. I don't know who Mary Roberts is but it doesn't sound like a cat name which is what the center should be named for. That would be a good excuse to get rid of the dogs!! HA! So on my birthday I'll give a shoutout to my fostermom at the PAC, Jill Coleman. Things are cool here!

They hired some pretty fancy help for my birthday!

Cake!! It was a nice thing to do. I guess symbolic of all the love felt for me by the owners. OR MAYBE THEY JUST LIKE CAKE - I feel so used!

At least one of us is having fun!!
I gotta say ... it was a weird birthday party!

Doing the Intrepid in the Closet!

2011-08-07T03:28:00.000-07:00

GOOD NEWS FOR YOU!!

MORE PHOTOS OF ME!

(and my musings)

Here I am being intrepid!

I guess you could say I'm still "in the closet."

My goofy look

They say cleanliness is next to godliness. I'm not sure who "they" are, but you know how they say they. Ok, that was confusing. Oh well ... here I am taking a moment to make sure I'm looking my best!

Me takin' a lickin' HA!

That cleanliness saying comes from some ancient Hebrew writings. I don't know who the Hebrews are but I don't think it's a cat breed. Maybe it was one of Jesus' cats. Francis Bacon (for whom Canadian bacon is named after) brought that saying into English. Which is funny since he certainly didn't know Hebrew stuff! Weird. He seemed compelled for some reason to mention this in his Advancement of Learning book. I'm big on learning so that's good. Francis had a lot going for him having also invented peanut brittle.

I don't know why I'm going on and on about Francis Bacon! Maybe I'm hungry! I know he was an early supporter of gay rights and made much headway in this regard. I'm not sure where I heard that ... maybe I'm just thinking that from how he dressed!

I'm also big on relaxing which is evident in the "action" photo below.

That reminds me ... I need to go relax some more! I am so outta here!

Biggest Water Dish in the World!

2011-07-30T21:32:00.000-07:00

It gets really hot here in the summer. Not all the time, but when you have a fur coat like mine you don't want to hang out like a slobbering dog or something! I was relaxing behind the ladder until someone started taking pictures of me - this is happening a bit much if you ask me. Which you didn't, but nevermind.
So back to the point of my post today ... it's not bad being out in the intemperate environs of the backyard as long as a cat has a water bowl. And I DO! Check it out! Cool, refreshing, sky blue water. It's like a Hamm's brewery commercial!
An 18,000 gallon waterbowl for an 11 pound cat (4.98 kg for my European readers). It's overkill really, but they spoil me. Not that there's anything wrong with that. I'm not complaining! It just that I'd never drink that much in a week! My only complaint is that the owners go paddling around in my bowl which just seems uncivil.

I was caught off-guard in this shot. I guess that's obvious!

As Francis Thompson once said Summer set lip to earth's bosom bare, And left the flushed print in a poppy there. I have no idea what that means, but bosom is kind of a funny word! Well since my owner was out here farting around, I decided to get back indoors where it is always chill.

Summer Cuteness Demonstration

2011-07-29T19:32:00.000-07:00

Hi everybody! Here's some pictures that were sent to my owner when she had to go to Philadelphia. This was so she didn't miss me so much. Most people don't know this, but Philadelphia is home to Benjamin Franklin. Fascinating cat fact: he invented electricity by rubbing two cats backwards. You can learn a lot by reading my blog!

Snoozing. I excel at this. Somebody thought he was funny with his new captioning program.

These aren't like official portraits or anything. They don't meet the high Huskercat standard for that.

Flopping down next to the laptop insures that I get rubbed the right way.

Yawn - stretch. God this is a crappy photo.

Hello???? Next time focus the camera or something!

Polaroid photo of me getting a pop on the ol' kisser!!
HEY, PeTA!!! Lighten up! It's a joke!!!

I moved my snoozing operation center to my guy owner's office. It's pretty messy, but I can sleep anywhere!

Well ... it's a good thing I didn't try to sell these as action photos!!

My New Documentary Film-maker Buddies & Two Sexy New Friends!!

2011-05-15T23:39:00.000-07:00

Today was pretty exciting. Kira has been visiting and then today Paul and Tamara came to visit. They are documentary film makers. I live sort of close to Hollywood (so I'm told). They came to shoot some video for a documentary. I was a bit annoyed to say the least that I had NO lead time on these film makers coming to make a documentary about me!! I had them checked out right away and they are from Fluid Films in LA. In fact, Paul is the top dog there! They've shots lots of important films including stuff for National Geographic who puts out some of the top documentaries on cats (usually tigers and lions, but they're related to me). That's why a little lead time would have been nice. Anyways, a National Geographic/Fluid Films special documentary about me, The Huskercat!

This is Paul (left) and me.
Note how Hollywood film makers
wear their shades different than normal people.

So it turns out they weren't actually here to make a documentary about me. That got me REALLY annoyed!! They were here to shoot some video of Kira getting her picture taken by my owner (the one with the cameras). I get my picture taken a lot so I'm not sure why I wasn't the big feature.

Tamara and I got on
most excellently.

Oh well, sometimes you just have to put things behind you and move on. Plus, it wasn't their fault that I wasn't informed about what was going on around here. They were both really cool and took an immediate liking to me (that happens a lot actually).

Tamara showed me some serious love while they visited (see photo). She didn't have to run a camera all the time so she was able to take time and keep me from getting too bored. Had I been the central feature of the movie, this party would have been less of a snoozer for me. Fortunately for me, she was able to help me deal with my resentment about not being the feature of the movie they were making.

I made such a good impression on them that I wouldn't be surprised if they decide to make a documentary about me. It should be about Tommy, who was the original Huskercat starting in 2004, and me, of course, who came on board a year ago. They could call it The Huskercat Dynasty! They're welcome to that title if they want it even though I could trademark it.

Here's some action photos of them at work!

Check it out, bitches!! That's me! Right in the middle with the tail. I'm hanging out on the set with the talent during a light check. (That's how movie people talk! - They never said "check it out, bitches!" That was all me!)

Paul doing his thing. Note this setting is the Husker Room. You can see a Red N flag in the cabinet. The room/facility is a veritable treasure trove of Huskery stuff. I wish I knew what "veritable" meant.

Tamara shooting some additional video. It doesn't look like she got me in this ...

Paul and Tamara conducting the interview/interrogation of Kira. I'm not sure if they got the confession they were wanting but they seemed pretty happy when they left. I don't mean they were happy to leave, but just that they were in state of happiness when they left. They weren't like euphoric or anything like that, just cheerful kind of happy.

ME (and Kira) on HBO!!! (maybe)

2011-05-15T19:24:00.000-07:00

Kira visited me for a couple of days! She comes all the way from Oregon (which is a state). It's always exciting with her around. She knows how to properly communicate with a VIP cat such as myself. It's all about the love!
You can see me featured in this photo with Kira. She was being interviewed and videod for an upcoming documentary. They videod her and my owner working together. Naturally I invited myself to the interview. I really didn't have anything to say but felt quite relaxed with the film crew. It was all pretty cool!

I don't know of any other cats who have been in documentaries. Except for big cats like tigers. They like own the Animal Planet! Along with those miserable homeless rescued cats. I forgot about them, but they don't really count. It's not my fault they have a sad life. Well, there I go ending this thing on a downer! I gotta stop doing that!

Tarra's Christmas Visit!

2010-12-29T20:26:00.000-08:00

Tarra was one of Tommy's original Sexy New Friends and she's lives in Las Vegas. The word is that Tarra visits quite a bit so I'm not quite sure why Tommy kept referring to Tarra as a Sexy New Friend since after her first visit she would have been a regular visitor. I didn't know Tommy so maybe he just thought new sounded cooler than like regular or something. Or maybe Tommy had a bad memory! :D I shouldn't make fun of him ... people are still in mourning over him. He was an old cat when he ~~bit the dust~~ passed on. I don't mean to get all tied up in the semantics of this - Tarra is a fun friend. Hey ... Sexy Fun Friends! I like that! hmm ... no, on second thought that just sounds like a bad porno! Not that I'm exactly sure what a porno is. I'm only 2 1/2 years old so I still got gaps in my knowledge.

I do know one thing about Las Vegas .... it has a sister city called Phuket which is in Thailand. I'm not sure how Thailand people speak, but I sure would like to know why they would call their city Phuket!! Talk about a bad call!! I don't know how they live with themselves!!

Tarra came from Las Vegas to see me. Las Vegas is known as the Entertainment Capital of the World. If you ask me, that's a pretty bold claim! What goes on around here makes my place seem like the entertainment capital of the world. There's no shortage of fun stuff. I'm not sure what else there would be to do in Las Vegas unless it has a bigger back yard than here. Maybe that's it. Maybe Tarra can spend a long time explaining it to me!

I got to work on not looking so goofy in my photos.

A Visit from Kira! All the way from Oregon!

2010-09-21T18:35:00.000-07:00

Me and Kira

Kira came all the way from Portland which is far away. If you check back you can see that she was my first visitor as I moved in to assume full Huskercat responsibilities. On a sad note, she was also Tommy's last visitor just a few weeks before he ... um ... passed on. Tommy was the original Huskercat, but now everyone will just have to get used to me. I didn't have a choice so everyone just needs to deal with it!

Naturally I have to include this picture of her in her Huskershirt. Upon close inspection you might notice that Kira has black hair in one picture and blonde hair in the other. Cats have extremely good eyes so I thought I should point this out. That struck me as unusual. I've only been the cat-in-residence for a couple months and I can say that some mighty peculiar things happen around here. For example, when I left the humane society I had not considered that I would be expected to write a blog! I'm not complaining, I'm just saying it's probably useful to stay alert around here!

Blonde Kira

Kira said she'll be back in a couple months so obviously I'm a hit with her. That's pretty cool!

TA DA!! It's the New Huskercat!!! Liam!

2010-07-18T14:47:00.000-07:00

I'm the new Huskercat, Liam Thomas. I'm told Tommy passed on last month and was the first Huskercat and he launched the Huskercat web site in 2004. So that makes me Huskercat #2! In his honor, I'm Liam (the name I came with) Thomas (his name). I'm not sure what all the Huskercat job entails but I'm getting familiar with it now that I'm confident enough to come out from under the bed! Apparently a big part of it is dictating my notes for this blog. I don't even know what a blog is! But they told me I'd get it all figured out.

Here's me just arriving at my new home in a ritzy part of Riverside. It's a pretty crumby photo because you can't even see me in the carrier!! The owners need to do a better job of documenting things! This is exactly how weird conspiracy theories get started! But I'm saying right here that I was actually in there.

Hard to imagine that two hours ago I was in a little cage at the Mary Roberts Animal Shelter Rescue Center (or something like that). I'm staying under the bed for awhile. For the record, it's my choice. They aren't making me stay here.

I'm not sure what I was expected to do with all these magazines. At the animal shelter they rolled up magazines and beat the dogs! It was really funny ... Suck on that, PeTA!!! Ok, I was kidding about that. They never beat the dogs although they deserved it. They must read a lot at this place.

This is a pretty good capture of my handsome likeness. With these kinds of looks I should be popular on this web site.

I don't think this is the best photo to convey that I'll be doing a bang up job around here. Not that there's anything wrong with sleeping 16 hours a day!

Everyone around here is still sad because of Tommy's demise. So I guess my first job here is to get everyone cheered up!

Tommy's Passing (RIP June 22, 2010)

2010-06-22T23:52:00.000-07:00

Tommy lost his battle

for immortality today

He was the original Huskercat

(huskercat.com)

That's right - he had his own web site!

Or as Tommy always told other cats ... suck on that!

Nine lives lasted him 18 years.

A talented team of board certified veterinary specialists -- Dr Prouix (Oncology), Dr Ogilvie (Internal Medicine & Oncology), Dr Sueda (Internal Medicine), Dr Mallory (Cardiology), Dr Mohammadian (Radiology), Dr Spela, Dr Hoggan (Emergency Critical Care); Tommy's Longtime Riverside Vet, Dr Schoen, and all the Vet Techs, Jennifer, Maggie, Liz, David, Brooke, Michelle, Charlene, Claudia -- were able to extend his life by three years. He had the best medical care that was always accompanied by lots of love.

A Photo-synopsis of Tommy's

Last Three Years

Official Christmas Portrait 2008
(still lookin' good)

vaguely interested ...

Just one of many Huskercat publicity photoshoots

yawn

Nobody actually died.
It was a Halloween party!

Fierce!

Not so fierce

Biopsy and after his biopsy (and a couple associated IV drips!)

Luv!

Move luv!

Preventing an escape!

Maggie & Cathy

Cathy (left)

Fancy Christmas Portrait with Nebraska Husker Socks

Yawning in his custom made snooze-box of American pine, West African ebony and South American tigerwood. He actually preferred a cardboard box.

Zana - catsitter with a PhD!
(Tommy's early years)

Jennifer - catsitter who was highly trained vet tech
(Tommy's later years)

Tommy was no friend to birds.

Getting ready for his visit by a Persian Cat

contemplating the great outdoors ....

always lots-o-fun!!

NOT!!!

Dr O!

Tommy liked to closely supervise his medical treatments

Tommy had outstanding medical care
(as can be seen in these snazzy photos)

high tech scan of some part of Tommy

Nothing like the gravy from a can of Fancy Feast!

Damn stupid idiot dumb-ass creepy dog

Maggie & David ... plotting something

Nothing wrong with kisses!
Nothing at all!

Tommy appeared in this watercolor painting by Kira

just part of staying healthy (or something like that)

Do not EVER get medical treatments on Halloween.
Seriously, don't ever do that. Never.
Lesson learned.

Private outdoors water dish
(legs sheared for IVs)

timing issue of some kind

Bad photo of Tommy on way home from California Vet Specialists

Jennifer and some guy at the Canyon Crest Animal Hospital

Thomas investigating freakish death of rat in garage. He concluded the rat had it coming so who cares really.

Overhead forensic photograph

YUM!

Tarra & Dave - best-ist of buddies

Who the hell gives a cat malted milk balls for Christmas!?

Not as fun as it looks

Guess who's not having fun!

YIKES!!

Tommy - as the general anesthesia wears off

hmm ...

For a moment, Tommy thought he got married to Kira!

Natalie, one of Tommy's best friends (and some guy)

Gettin' it in the rear ...

Tough love

Dr Prouix - the top dog in this cat's care

Not good. Not good at all ....

This will be my last post .....

2010-06-22T23:15:00.000-07:00

There's no good way to say this, but this will be my last post. My faithful readers of the last three years know that I've been having, shall we say, health problems. As in an encyclopedic range of health problems! I could list them here but that's not what my final post is all about. I'm sure my owner will come up with some kind of suitable memorial post for me that will give credit to the legions of medical staff, including the cute vet techs, who have made sure that I had these last three years. Basically, I'm on the downside of the ol' HRQOL problem (that stands for health related quality of life). Since I have a scientific mind about evaluating the world, naturally I go with the CDC approach to quality of life. All my board certified vets recommend the CDC as a source of information. Some writers on this topic, who one would think would be smarter than me, have asked assume science makes you immortal, what will you then do for eternity? I'm sorry, but that's just a stupid question. The CDC considers QOL to be "a broad multidimensional concept that usually includes subjective evaluations of both positive and negative aspects of life." I like that definition because it's really long. I think what that means is - is life sucking too much.

Anyway, I spent today with my owners of 15 years. My first 3 years I was known as "Speedy" and lived with a woman who had to take me to the shelter. Life and death is a cycle. I came to live with my owners after they lost their previous puss, Midnight, after 20 years. Obviously they are the best-est of owners or their cats would not live such long lives! All these pictures of me are on my last day - June 22, 2010.

I woke up this morning with a special kind of tired.

I just don't have much of my ol' gusto!

Nothing special about this picture except that it's the top of the hot tub where I was always able to lay and warm my carcass. I'm going to miss this for sure! Eighteen cat years is 89 human years! No wonder I like warm places!

Morning with Mom

It was thanks to Cathy that I got adopted in the summer of 1995. Dad (aka Curt) was moping around due to the demise of Midnight who lost a battle with cancer at the age of 20. Cathy had him come with her to the Humane Society (a curious name for a place with cats and dogs). She told him they were just going to look around. He fell for that. It ended up being between me and this knockout tortoise hair female who was, pardon the expression, really whoring it up by continual leg rubbing. I just acted respectable, yet friendly, and they picked me! This was a stroke of genius on my part because as a Maine Coon, I'm not that friendly. In fact, the big cat book describes my breed as amiable. Not friendly or good-natured or charming or sociable. Just amiable. That means like barely friendly! That's just racist!! Although it's sort of true too. They took me home and I spent three days under the bed!

These pictures of me and Dad were taken right before Mom took me to see Dr Schoen who was designated to give me the pink juice (as they say). Mom had to take me, Dad wussed out. He was pretty broken up about this. I want to give a final thanks to Dad who always took notes on what I had to say and put them into my blog. If it wasn't for him, there wouldn't have been a Huskercat. Without me there wouldn't have been one either so let's not make too big a deal out of what he did. What I'm trying to say was it was a partnership sort of. My brains; his typing.

These pictures are getting kind of sad. So ....

What I thought I would do is tell you about some of the things that made each day special (aside from all the love and attention that came my way). Let's start with catnip! This was something to roll around about!

Waiting for a final catnipping. I never got too sick for catnip!

Krazee Kitty catnip is pretty good, but Cosmic catnip is the best! I received no financial benefit for this endorsement, although I should have. Getting cat nipped by the pool overlooking the San Gabriel Mountain Range is about as good as it gets.

This wasn't anything fun, but my last two weeks I got 200cc's of saline each morning subcutaneously. My kidneys were punking me. And why not, most of the rest of my body was going off the deep end! While it would perk me up, it didn't end up jumpstarting either of my kidneys. C'est la vie! I wish I knew what c'est la vie meant ...

One of Mom's stained glass windows in the background.

My little Husker red food dish they kept on the bed for me. It was a transparent attempt to get me to sleep with them at night. I slept on Mom's pillow quite often.

Friskies cat food storage container.

This was my food layout in the kitchen (below). If this photo were taken more responsibly you could see the image of a cat like me in the bowl on the right. This is where my Grilled Fancy Feast (usually the one with Tuna) would go. On the left was the Friskies hard food; the middle bowl was fresh water (changed every day). I had long sought an endorsement from the makers of Grilled Fancy Feast in Gravy with tuna, but this never materialized. Fancy Feast cat food indulged the taste of the cat (me) just as the advertising said. It was a slow cooked tuna feast that was lavishly basted in gravy and had a tantalizing flavor just as the commerical said. It's the best. I reviewed their Grilled products many times on my blog and they never responded to my many requests for commercial endorsements. Well it's too late now! I hope their top brass lose sleep over this for years to come!

Friskies hard food (L), water (C), and savory Grilled Tuna Fancy Feast with gravy (R)

I always got special treats too. Whisker Lickin's is pretty good.

There's no beating Pounces for that special treat!

My personal brush. It was made of boar bristles (no kidding!) and had an elegant American Beech hardwood handle. My Dad got it at Sephora which is apparently a fancy place. My Mom was a little annoyed with this since she got her brush at Target, but she eventually understood that I deserved it.

This looks weird but I love this. It makes my brain go funny in a good way.

Here is where I would sit on my sheepskin, eating Pounces and watching Husker football. Talk about the good life!! I hope the Huskers have a good season this fall!

I leave this world with no regrets (and no apologies to all my bird, bug and lizard prey - they had it coming anyway). I've had 18 years full of love and gave it back when I wasn't sleeping. I've done the math and it looks like each of my lives equals about two years (here's my work: 18 yrs / 9 lives = 2 yrs/life). I got no complaints. I would have been completely dead three years ago if not for all the help from Dr Prouix from California Veterinary Specialists and all the other medical people. I've told death to "suck it" for three years now but that game is up. Final score: Me, 3; Death 1. HA!

Ok, well getting back to things ... Cats have 9 lives, but only have one last day. I'll push off from this life with a poem. (it doesn't rhyme but I'm still calling it a poem. I don't know if it is technically a poem. It doesn't really matter.)

When somebody loves you, everything is beautiful.

Every hour I spent with Cathy & Curt, lives in our hearts.

When she was sad, I made sure she wasn't alone.

And when she was happy, so was I.

I would curl up with Curt or he would hang with me.

Whichever it was, it made us both happy.

Year after year, I was the Huskercat.

It meant a lot to me and I know to my millions of friends.

I always knew I was loved

Otherwise, why all the pictures and sexy new friends?

It's now hard at the end of the day

I need some distraction, oh beautiful release.

My pain now goes down a one-way street

Memories seep from my veins

But I know they are full of love, and maybe

I'll find some peace tonight.

So tired of the storm that is in my body

That brings me to my knees.

Nevermind that, it's what happens after all these years.

I felt the love that provided all this final care.

But I will soon escape this storm.

In the arms of an Angel, I'll fly away from here.

I know it's just an image, but I'll leave this world in comfort.

I spent 18 years in the arms of Angels.

There's no better blessing than what I had.

Grief is the price we pay for love.

So don't mourn me too long, just remember me.

Know that my end is just my final victory roll!

And make sure there is another Huskercat.

(inspired by Sarah Mclachlan (and some just outright plagiarized - so sue me! Sure! Just try and sue a dead cat!!!!) , and from others and thoughts from my own brain)

Every day was like Christmas for me!

I hope you didn't think ending with a poem was lame!

Well ... like I would end lots of my posts ....
I'm outta here!

Much love,
Tommy (Thomas) The Huskercat!

PS - remember me!

Kira from Oregon! She and I graduated!

2010-06-07T21:03:00.000-07:00

Kira came to visit again! This time she stayed for 5 days! She must have really missed me, I mean like seriously! Apparently she was graduating. I'm not sure what from but it's rather obvious that she had a graduation gown on so what else would she be doing? I'm just using basic common sense here.
I was minding my own business when she noticed me (see photo). She insisted that I be included in her graduation portrait. I'm not a photo whore or anything, but if Kira wants to be in a picture with me then Kira will be in a picture with me.
As the reigning Huskercat I was very happy to see her in her Husker shirt and Husker skirt. She has an excellent sense of high-fashion. She just does everything right! I'm still confused about what she was graduating from ... she got college educated a couple years ago and got a fancy art degree. Maybe is was post-graduate study in Huskercatology! I bet that's why she stayed so long. If she did get an advanced degree in Huskercatology I didn't know anything about this degree program. I'm assuming that it would be accredited like fine colleges such as Stanford or Harvard or Chaffey College.

Naturally this raises the question about where my cut is from the tuition! I'm going to have to look into this ....

Nebraska should be proud to have her sporting her Husker football outfit like this! I wish I was graduating like her. But then what the heck would I do with a higher education. Both my owners have PhDs. It certainly hasn't made them any smarter! HA!!

More sexy new friends for me!

2010-06-05T18:46:00.000-07:00

Today was fun! I didn't get one visitor - I got two! My personal cuddler is st merrique. That's her name. It sort of sounds like something you would order at a fancy French restaurant although I would prefer Fancy Feast Grilled Tuna in Gravy. But I digress. Merrique has been venerated by the Pope (this happen to all Saints like Merrique.) I couldn't find Saint Merrique on the Catholic Saint web site so I'm not sure what kind of saint she is, but if it was left up to me she would be the Saint of Hotness!

My other sexy friend is Rachael. She is St Merrique's roommate. She and St Merrique have lots of animals including cats so I think that's why there were able to love me up as much as they did. They have 2 cats, They also have a llama. I think they may be pulling my paw about this llama thing though. It doesn't make a lot of sense to have a llama. Llamas smell really bad and my two new friends smelled really good.

The problem with these two chicks is that they have a big dog. His name is shibby. I have to be honest here, when she first said the dogs name, I though she said his name was shitty. That would make sense to name dogs things like that. Dog are soooo stupid! Shit for brains is how us cats refer to dogs. No matter - I don't have to put up with the dog and I really liked that Merrique and Rachael drove in from LA to see me. How cool is that!!

That's all for now!

My May Day!!

2010-05-01T21:48:00.000-07:00

Today is May Day. I don't usually celebrate May Day. Big deal you might say! I don't have anything against May (which should be known as International Cat Shedding Month). But I don't celebrate May Day for two reasons. First off, it's International Worker's Day. I'm retired cuz I'm almost 18 human years old. If you do the math it comes out to 88 cat years. Why should I celebrate working? Give me a break! Secondly it's mostly communist countries that celebrate it so it would be un-American to get all woopie about May. I'm no commie!

But this May Day was special because I got another visit from my friend Natalie! She's been here a bunch of times but I haven't seen her for a year! It's about time she showed up for her traditional photo with me. It was good to pal around with her. You can see her giving me some serious squeeze! Nothing wrong with that!

Many of the Huskercat fans might be wondering How does Tommy get all those great pictures with all his sexy friends? It's not too complicated. It helps when you're a real chick magnet like I am. Once you got that going for ya then you just need a studio with all the fancy lights and stuff so my best features will be preserved when I get the squeeze.

This this picture gives everybody a real behind the scenes sort of view of my Huskercat Studio Facility. According to Wikipedia, I'm the only cat with his own Studio Facility. Ok, actually it doesn't say that on Wikipedia. But it will in about an hour! HA! I'm not sure why one of my owners poked his head into this picture. You'ld think he could get his own friends or at least find something to do!

Anyways, I'm not the only one who can be funny. Later on Natalie texted us a photo she took which was pretty funny. I've included the photo in question. For some reason she sent us a photo of a little poop at the bottom of a toilet! My first reaction was What's up with that?? But then you got to admit that was pretty funny.

But there was a little more texting ...

My Owner: My brain finally figured out what the pic was!

Natalie: What pic?

My Owner: Of a turd at the bottom of a toilet bowl.

Natalie: What!! That's my fish!!

My Owner: Well your fish looks like a turd!

Natalie: I'm flushing it! :(

My Owner: NO!! NO!!!

So all that was pretty funny! I don't know if she was just messing with my owner or what. Not that I care if she flushed her damn fish. A smarter move with the fish would have been to have brought it here so I could eat it! I mean - come on! I bet I would still prefer Fancy Feast Grilled Seafood Feast with Gravy though. Nothing beats Fancy Feast!

Well that's a good way to wrap this up. Talking about Fancy Feast!

Another bloodletting!

2010-04-17T20:51:00.000-07:00

Another trip to the vet! This is getting old! I'm still coughing and having breathing problems. I know I'm old, but it's not like I have a 3 pack a day problem.
I look pretty insignificant in the big scheme of things in this photo. It's a bad perspective or something because if I wasn't a big deal they wouldn't be shoveling all this money into my medical care.

Here is my owner giving me the full body petting treatment. I know better than to let my guard down though. There's usually not much pleasant that happens to an animal at these vet clinics. I'm just stating the obvious here.

Jennifer is the first medical staff to check on me. She's the one who comes over to take care of me when my owners are gone. They don't have some kid next door check on me; I get a fully trained vet technician to give me my steroids and cancer meds and give me a thorough looking over. She also feeds me naturally.

Unfortunately (for me) the first thing they have to do before they get down to business is weigh you and take your temperature. Weighing in is no big deal but getting your temp taken is down right unpleasant. I think the surveillance photos tell the story better than any string of words I could come up with!

My medical case is pretty complicated. That's why I have all kinds of medical staff looking after me. It's the celebrity treatment that I deserve. The verdict is that I need to have blood tests done and sent down to the specialists at California Veterinary Specialists in Murrietta where they can scope it out.

I HATE having my blood drawn! It's not simple like for humans. They stick a needle right into your jugular vein (yikes!) to suck the blood out of me.
As can be seen here, this required them bringing in some big burly guy to physically subdue me so the lab tech could nail me with the syringe. I made sure it wasn't pleasant for anyone! I was in a bad mood about this!
The blood is for a CBC blood test. It sounds pretty simple but it analyses a lot of things about my blood. I got to have the right amount of red blood cells and it tests that. Seems like it would go without saying that blood cells are red. I mean blood is red itself! Therefore, if there were cells in blood and they weren't red they sure would be once they got all bloody!! Everything is red after it gets bloody! It also tests my hemocrit which has something to do with how packed my blood cells are. When the vet first mentioned my hemocrit I thought she was calling me a hypocrite! That's not me! Hemoglobin, reticulocytes and all kinds of other stuff too. Sure alot of stuff in blood!!

I was feeling a little surly after all this. The penalty for this is apparently locking you up! Oh well - time out is never a punishment for a cat. We excel at laying around doing nothing! I was in and out of there in a half an hour. No biggie!

Looks like they'll send my blood tests down to the specialty clinic to my oncologist, Dr Prioux. We'll see what he has to say!

I'm backing this book for autism research!

2010-04-06T23:44:00.000-07:00

f - eleven volume 2 by Wolf189 | BOOK INFO

Yo, check this out ... Volume 2 of the photography of some of the f-eleven members (who are a bunch of photographers and models) has just been published. The proceeds go to autism research so that's good. Here's a fancy slide show that shows off the book. But I got something else about this that I need to blog about! I don't usually promote books or stuff unless I'm in them so you know this is a good one!

But another book said that all of us cats have Asperger's syndrome. Now that just sounds like name calling! BTW, the correct spelling is "Asperger," not "assburger." Hey, it's not some tasteless joke, I'm just mentioning it since I made that mistake so I assume that lots of my readers might too. This Asperger's thing is like autism - sort of, it's complicated.

So anyways, back to the topic - the book about cats having Asperger's syndrome.

This book says that all cats have it. I didn't know what it was so I wikied it and people with that have social and communication problems. I wouldn't say that I have a communication problem! Hell, I got a blog! Where do humans come up with this crap!! Cats just don't communicate much with humans (like skeezy dogs do) out of a natural sense of superiority that we have. Humans are supposed to just figure out what we want.

I know cats are superior because humans have got us to make life better for people who have autism. You can't beat that! The story talks about how cat therapy was a miracle. That's right - have a cat - get a miracle! That's more than dogs could do! In fact, if it was a miracle that this cat did, then that makes cats like Jesus! Maybe I should start a church!!

Ok, I'm outta here!

Look at Me!! I got married!!

2010-03-13T23:39:00.000-08:00

HA!

Not really. Just kidding about me getting married!

Kira came to visit again. She came all the way down from Portland, Oregon to see me! It would be easy to conclude that we got married, but that would not be correct. Although she loves me lots, she has her own cat and, besides, people don't marry cats! There no church that would get behind that! Just sayin'One thing is for sure ... Kira would be a lovely bride if she were getting married! She's coming back in June. Stay tuned for more pics of her and me!!

Post-Vet visit dining event

2010-01-16T22:32:00.000-08:00

* sigh *

Another visit to the vet. Had to go to CVS which is California Vet Specialists. You know things are serious when all your vets are board certified specialists. If it wasn't for them, I'd be pushing up daisies! And I have no aspirations in that direction. Update: Cancer still in remission (that means I'm kicking it's ass! ... the drugs probably help too). But I have a rather encyclopedic list of other problems that we're working on. I have a feeling I just experienced my last Christmas.

At any rate, there's always special time after a visit to the vet - food and getting loved up. They usually have a little tray of food for me on the big bed. So there are three places in this house they keep food ready for me.

Awesomeness

SICKO! (that would be me)

2010-01-14T22:32:00.000-08:00

I've not been feeling very perky lately. I've been shedding more pounds. I weighed in at 11 pounds last summer. Down to 9 around Christmas and now down to 8 1/2 pounds! I was wasting away and getting kind of surly about it (see surveillance photo of me looking surly). My motivation to patrol the backyard is pretty much gone. This is unfortunate since that is one of my major responsibilities around here. There are days I don't even bother to go outside.

It's been getting serious. I know that because my owner (the big one) weighs my cat food every time they pop open a can of Fancy Feast (I may be sick, but FF is still my favorite! Especially the Grilled Tuna in Gravy). They keep track of how much I eat. They don't weigh the hard food though which makes me feel sneaky every time I eat it. I get put on a scale every day too. I feel like I'm in some kind of research study with all the data they're collecting on me. Maybe I'm a case study and going to be talked about in a veterinary medicine journal! That would be cool. If that happens I expect to be a co-author. None of it would happen without ME! I make science happen!

Anyway, to get to the point, I got myself dragged off to California Veterinary Specialists in Murietta. It was road trip time! Not that I was in the mood for a road trip. I had an appointment with Dr Proulx - he's my main doctor. But the first thing that has to happen is a scan of my insides. That makes sense - it's not like I have a fur problem. Technically it's called abdominal ultrasonography. When you call it that, it sounds like it's going to cost alot!

So the guy who scans my insides is Dr Michael Sueda, DVM. He's a Diplomat of some kind from the American College of Veterinary Internal Medicine. I guess - it's something like that. He's got one of those fancy titles like Dr Proulx. My owner is really impressed with fancy titles like that! Me too - the fancier the title, the better the care! I think that's pretty obvious. Dr. Sueda is an internist who grew up in Hawaii which is a country I'd like to visit since there are so many fish there. That's probably where Fancy Feast gets their Tunas.

Maggie, the friendliest Vet Tech in these parts, took all these pictures. They knocked me out with something to get all this scanning stuff done so I think I can count on her as a witness. I didn't see that coming. But you can see my insides on the TV. It's not the first time I've been on TV, btw.
The person holding me down is Katie. Before she worked here she was in law enforcement and crowd control and has a military background. Actually I'm just guessing about that because of how good she was at holding me down. One doesn't get those skills by accident.

Turns out that I got all kinds of things wrong with me! The side of my neck was getting puffed out. So I'm getting bigger and weighing less. It's one of those cat conundrums that Dr Prouix is always talking about. That's a fancy way of acknowledging that I'm a complicated puss. The diagnosis? I got an abscess. That's a nice way of saying that I got a lump on me that is oozing some disgusting pus. Yuk. (puss and pus are etymologically unrelated, btw. Just sayin')

I can thank that low-life, trailer trash, white cat with tabby patches for the abscess. We got into it and he sunk his claws into the side of my neck. Since I run a family-friendly blog, I won't be specific about where I sunk my claws! HA! At any rate, if he doesn't have the kind of quality medical care that I get I suspect his low-life, trailer trash ass is dead! Not that I'm bitter about this or anything.

Anyways, they poked a hole in it and let it drain. There I go losing some more weight! Notice that some of these people have blue hands. I suspect they may be from that Avatar documentary about blue people on another planet. That may be a little far-fetched...

They even got a picture of the duo that did the number on my neck. They seem pretty pleased with themselves! They look pretty excited about having their paws around my neck!

So after all the blood tests, getting my abscess drained, getting my insides scanned, a thyroid test, some special blood test that they only do at Texas A&M and getting drugged up (not that I'm complaining about the drugged up part!), they toss me back into my cell. As anyone can see, there are pages and pages of documentation on my case. I think they're getting ready to publish a medical textbook about me. That would be a fascinating read.

I think these photos (taken in the backroom of the gulag) are pretty hardcore evidence that they were injecting me with something! When I'm actually sleeping I don't look that dopey so it had to be some kind of hardcore drug of some kind! Whatever it was, it turned me into a snooze muffin. Admittedly, a pus oozing, pancreatitic, asthma-laden, bite infected snooze muffin that violates one's stereotype of a snooze muffin. Oh well. Even a usually upbeat feline such as myself can recognize that some days are just going to suck bawls.

Dr Prouix had to summarize things to the owner. Dr Sueda had to give a report to him too. All that probably gave my owner brain overload. My owner asked right away if the news was horrible. The Doc said it's not horrible. I'm not an expert in human to human communication but it's not horrible seems very different than no, he's just dandy.

Yeah, today kinda sucked.

War on String May be Lost!

2010-01-01T13:43:00.000-08:00

This is a horrible news report to start off the new year. This is why I don't listen to much news. It's just one bad thing after another. I'm going to go take another nap now.

Merry Christmas 2009! What Santa brought me!

2009-12-25T12:45:00.000-08:00

Merry Christmas Huskercat Fans!

Hi everybody! It's Christmas and so here is the official Huskercat Christmas Tree. It's pretty snazy and decked out. About half the ornaments are official Husker ornaments (trademarked and everything). There's no snow because I'm in California where it doesn't snow. Christmas trees are for putting presents under.
So enough about trees! Do you want to know what Santa brought me? Feast your eyes on the Snow Princess! (see photo below) Ok, I'm just kidding. Santa didn't bring me Kira the Snow Princess - for starters that would be illegal! Kira visited a couple weeks ago for a couple days but then she disappeared. She's going to come by in a couple of months to see me again, but I am officially declaring her Miss Christmas of the Huskercat Website (2009).

ANNOUCEMENT!!
Kira is Miss Christmas of the Huskercat Website
She's pretty famous as can be seen by her very fancy Christmas dress. She looks so special she could be the Virgin Mary helping baby Jesus celebrate Christmas! For those who aren't as steeped in religious history as I am, Mary was the Mother of Jesus. She is always referred to as the Virgin Mary. Kira looks pure as the driven snow so she's probably a virgin too, but I'm getting off on a tangent as they say and it's not polite to think about these things. And certainly not polite to write about it in a public blog! Ok, ok, I got to focus here. So when one talks about the Virgin Mary - her and sex get kinda brought up anyway since as Jesus' mother she never had sex which is why she's referred to as a Virgin. So, moving on, that's what today is - Christmas - where we celebrate how a virgin gave birth to a baby. This is what I've been told anyway and I heard it on TV this week too (it was on the Discovery channel so I'm sure it's right). The more I think about this, the less it makes sense though. As I understand sex (and let me tell you, I do understand sex. They didn't invent the word caterwauling for nothing!) you can't be a virgin and have a baby. Ok, listen, I keep my blog family friendly so I think I need to stop all this sex talk. It's Jesus' birthday and that's all that counts since we know Christmas is all about getting presents and Jesus wants us to have all we can get! It's true - it's called prosperity religion so don't go and write me nasty letters about it. God wants me to get while the gettin' is good! So that's my Christmas message to my readers...

Go For The Gusto!!

I got things pretty good at this place. I get Grilled Fancy Feast twice a day and they let me go outside when I want. I get catnipped pretty often. I'm an aging cat so it's medical cat nip, of course (all quite legal in California!). So I don't like to complain about stuff, but I don't think Jesus would have approved of my Christmas present being a sock full of malted milk balls! (see forensic photo and some of the malted milk balls in the photo)

What kind of moron would give malted milk balls to a cat! Seriously, has anyone at all ever heard of getting malted milk balls for a cat??? At Christmas, no less!! I'm pretty sure I know who the moron is since my one owner (the pretty one) doesn't like them in the first place. Even Jesus would have thought I got screwed this Christmas! The owners must have sensed something was wrong because they got a bowl of Frisky's (hard food) and set it in front of me for my dining pleasure.

So to be honest, this wasn't that great of a Christmas for me. I didn't get enough presents like I deserved and I hope that other cats don't have to endure these kinds of hardships.

It's still a day of celebration though and we shouldn't forget that. It's a special day with my appointment of the new Miss Christmas of the Huskercat Website (2009)!

Tarra - one of my all time favorite sexxyist friends!

2009-12-23T15:04:00.000-08:00

Yeah!! Tarra and Dave came to visit me before Christmas. She looks great in red which makes her pretty Huskery. A good match for Christmas too. While being so Huskery sort of takes the Christ out of Christmas it doesn't make much difference to me. As a Cat I still have 5 of my 9 lives left and I live in unrainy southern California so it's not like I have to worry about a lightening bolt from God! HA! Not that I'm here to offend God or anything. If any cat is going to heaven it will be me! That's for sure. And if I end up in Heaven, I'll sure miss my owners!!

This heaven thing though makes me wonder sometimes. Logically it seems like cats would end up in heaven because it's rather obvious all dogs will be going to hell. Surely an all-wise supernatural deity would have commonsense enough not to put cats and dogs together in the afterlife!! Plus, it's rather obvious God screwed up with making dogs in the first place. That was lame.

The problem is that theologians seem to agree that cats won't go to heaven. They point out that man was created superior to animals and that animals can’t be equal with him or some such bullshit. Maybe these theologians with their fancy PhDs need to read the Holy Book a little closer.

Here's where they get this idea: Then God said, "Let us make man in our image, in our likeness, and let them rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air, over the livestock, over all the earth, and over all the creatures that move along the ground" (Gen 1:26). Obviously cats are not fish, birds or livestock! We're also not "creatures" since that refers to monsters, Big Foot, dead dinosaurs, dragons and aliens from outer space. Plus, cats certainly have the ol' "breath of life" so I think God is looking out for us. Otherwise, why would we have 9 lives! This just makes sense.

I kinda got off the track here. Probably because of all this Christ in Christmas business. My owners don't seem to spend any time worshipping or going to Church so I'm assuming they're not big into that kind of stuff. For me ... I believe in God. Usually anyway. It makes sense if I don't think about it too much. And why chance it??? If I believe in God and end up in Heaven, yeah for me! If you don't believe in God and there is a Heaven, I think it's safe to say you're screwed!! Anyway - that's the Christmas message as I understand it.

Anyways, Merry Christmas everybody!!

NEWS FLASH - Kira comes to live here!!

2009-12-06T20:03:00.000-08:00

Hey, Kira came all the way down from Oregon to see me. In fact, she decided to move in!! That's what I thought at first. She had a big suitcase and some other stuff. She kept her suitcase closed so I couldn't get into it, but let's not start this post off in a negative light. I'm not that kind of cat!

It's a big deal to come here since Oregon is so far away. Fun fact: Kira has the only cat in Oregon. That's weird if you think about it. I heard her talking about her cat and that's the only cat in Oregon I've ever heard of. I'm not sure why cats are so unwelcome in Oregon. Maybe it's because it rains lots in Oregon and lets face it, cats don't like to get rained on.
Speaking of disappointments, it turns out that she didn't move in. She was just staying a couple days. I thought this would be a bonanza for me seeing as how she seems much more attentive than the current inhabitants of this hovel.

When she got here she was dressed all normal. But (and I'm not sure exactly how this happened) a little later in the day she turned into some kind of Christmas Princess.

I'm not completely sure about this Christmas Princess thing cause I'm making several inferences in arriving at this conclusion. Not that this is a crime or anything. I would offer as evidence these first two photos that caught her in the act of showing me some love. Which isn't a crime either. Notice her stylish and very fashionable pink dress. It's has ermine trim. Ermines are little white weasels that rich people kill and use for trim on their fancy clothes. It's very expensive fur which is kind of funny when you think it's just a white weasel! But Kira doesn't just have ermine trim. Apparently she authorized the mass murder of a bunch of ermines for her hat. I don't mean to make it sound like there's anything wrong with mass murdering. They're just weasels. I doubt that even deranged PeTA people would give a damn about killing off weasels. Weasels are like one step above rats in the evolutionary tree and all they have to offer society is their little fur coats.
But I'm getting off the topic. If you notice in this third photo of an actual Russian Princess, it shows that Kira's hat is much like the Princess's. Royalty would have hats like this - it said so in google. They would also have dogs (as shown here) probably because royalty inbreed amongst themselves and end up over the generations a little retarded in the brain. With Kira you get beauty + brains!

Kira was expecting to be nice and warm here in southern California. Sadly, it was cloudy, cold and windy instead. She froze her behind off! You can see this in this parking tower surveillance photo that I was able to obtain. People kept telling her that she must have brought the bad weather from Oregon. That's just dumb. People can't "bring the weather" with them!

Obviously I don't hang out in parking towers so I wasn't able to help but if you notice Kira warmed right up when she got back and spent some time with me. Sadly she was leaving and this was the last squeeze for me if you know what I mean. That's too bad because I'd rather have her than a bowl of heavy cream! But she is going to visit again in a couple months. Bottom line is that I'm a bit of a chick magnet around here!

Snap a Rat!!!

2009-11-28T15:05:00.000-08:00

We've been having rat problems on the home front for a couple weeks! Turns out the city tore out a bunch of ground cover in the middle of the street not but one house away and, all the local houses were recipients of the rats who previously were plenty happy there. This has been loads of fun! Nothing like a good rat chase to keep one young! Anything that will help me stay young is good since I'm 18 years, 2 months old. But who's counting!

The owner got one of these big traps for the garage. They think they pretty much got the house sealed up but there still a few sneaking in somehow. Or maybe they can't get out. I don't care as long as we get them appropriately murdered. In a fun irony we put cat food in the traps. The rat sniffs his way (or her, I'm an equal opportunity rat slayer) over to the trap and as soon as they put their little sniveling rat nose onto the food - SNAP!!! The big serrated jaws of death hammer their head instantly sending them to Rat Hell where they will burn for eternity or be eaten alive by Satan's cats.

Before the owner got out here to see the recently demised rat cadaver I was able to lay out the crime scene. I've done this a million times as an experienced RSI (Rat Scene Investigator), thus the obvious professionalism you see in the crime scene photos. Just doin' my job.Exhibit A3 (above the expired rat) shows a piece of the cat food. It's Friskies hard food that leads the rat to his demise. Another lovely irony is that the food pieces are heart shaped. I like to think that I kill with love. I'm all about love especially seeing as how I love murdering rats! As can be seen in this photo, I'm a paws-on type of cat. Here I am smelling the sweet smell of rat termination.

I don't mean to be crass but this is kind of funny. The trap slammed down on the rat sooo hard that the just expired rat blew blood out its ass! That's why I said it was crass. Get it? HA!! I'm glad his little rat family didn't see this! How embarr-ass-ing would it be to see a rat family member who had a little explosive bleeding upon his p-ass-ing? That's a rhetorical question really - obviously it would be embarr-ass-ing. Damn, I'm having too much fun with this!! No doubt about it, dead rats are damn funny.

Anyways, suffice it to say that the deceased rodent is no more, he's gone to meet his maker, and that's just how we like them here. What you see here is a traditional kind of rat killing machine, but my one owner is rather perverse about rat murdering. He's willing to spend the big $$ for latest technology in rat extinction science.

He got four RatZappers (trademarked name) for the attic. They are little metal tube things (see photo) that you put food in the end and the rat sneaks into the tube and when he puts a thieving paw by the food he triggers an electrical shock (a zap if you will, specifically a rat zap!) which fries his brain and stops his heart dead basically snuffing the consciousness out of his future. It's pretty fun to watch! If rats had a brain they would know that I deploy only the latest in innovative, breakthrough rat murdering technology at our facility! The units even have a remote monitoring device so the murderer doesn't have to take time out of his day to check the traps. These things are so efficient they have to be German technology!

The RatZapper company says their annihilation units are 100% humane with "no blood, no gore, no mess." That's too bad - apparently the company doesn't appreciate the deep emotional satisfaction of inflicting pain and torture resulting in blood, gore, and, yes, a mess! Nothing wrong with a little rat mayhem! I'd be happy to consult with them in developing a ratzapper that was only 20% humane. This unit would come highly recommended in the cat community. I have time to do this since, due to the economy, my hours have been cut back on my Huskercat promotional responsibilities and Fancy Feast hasn't come through with a contract yet. I hope I'm not sending letters to the wrong address ....

So, anyways, all I have to say to rats, to paraphrase former President Bush, is BRING 'EM ON!

Scoring drugs and the payoff!

2009-11-25T18:52:00.000-08:00

This is a story about drugs and money. My owners had been plenty neglectful and hadn't renewed my Rx for prednisolone. I do 5mg/day. It's a steroid and I'm supposed to take it every day. I can be a monster on that juice! My owner went to the Canyon Crest Animal Hospital which is where I'm seen for usual problems. When I need an oncology specialist Vet naturally I go to the California Veterinary Specialists (CVS). But I'm on drugs because I have cancer so EXCUSE ME if I don't want my humans farting around with this!! So anyways, the Animal Hospital, which is close to home, seems to be all decked out for Christmas. Let's bear in mind that it's the day before Thanksgiving so apparently the Animal Hospital is trying to cash in on the crass commercialism of Christmas rather than respecting it as a traditional religious holiday. Not that I give a damn one way or another, actually.

To get back to the story, my owner wanted to score the steroids at the local place but it's the CVS docs that prescribe it. Apparently is some kind of federal crime (!!) to have one place dish out the drugs unless there is some kind of coordination of medical care. This is all getting pretty complicated given what I hear you can score at the middle school a few blocks away. I'm sending my owner out to score the drugs. It's hard to imagine this is a crime. It's not like Rush Limbaugh did time for having his maid do the same thing! We're both celebrities! Just give us the damn drugs!!

Thanks god for Jennifer (on the left) who is the vet tech who visits me when my owners take off. As a trained specialist, she is able to give me the drugs I need every day as well as serve me dinner (always Fancy Feast Grilled Tuna with Gravy). She works at the animal hospital and she fast talked her way to getting what I needed since they have them right there in the hospital. So my owner scores the dope and hightails it home so I can get back on the juice. This all happened because my owner finally paid her professional fees to looking after me a couple weeks ago. They need to stay on top of this a little better.

The only question I have now is who the hell is that guy in the picture?? His name is Ryan but I've never seen him. He doesn't care for my needs. The only thing I can think of is that he wanted to hop onto Jennifer's claim to fame as a regular on my blog. But I don't know Ryan from Adam. Actually, I don't even know an Adam. I'm not sure why I said that. But if he pulls that stunt again I'll bill him for my promotional services!

Asthma, sneezing, and a wart or something

2009-09-04T01:25:00.000-07:00

So here I am. Hauled off to the vet again! I had to see my board certified oncologist for some reason and that reason was that I've been coughing and sneezing a bit. Can you imagine what this world would be like if they hauled every human to the vet when they coughed or sneezed!! Yeah? Well neither can I! So, yes, this is me waiting for the medical staff sitting in my the PPU (portable prison unit supplied by the secret police! You'ld think I was on trial for selling the secret recipe for Fancy Feast Grilled Tuna in Gravy!)

I'm always annoyed when they drag me to these places. But out comes the cheerful medical staff to try and get me in a good mood. I know better though. They just sneaky. No matter how cheerful they are, I'm always hauled into the back room for some pretty rough treatment!
Although I have to say this staff person is pretty easy on the eyes! And I don't need hate mail from the radical feminists either! I call'em as I see them! Anyways, her name is Liz. She's a little new here and lives in Oceanside which from the sound of it is probably by the ocean. She interrogates my owner (in a very pleasant way) about my "problems." He says I'm coughing and sneezing and he thinks I've lost weight and there a little thing on my neck. Jesus! I didn't know I was so messed up until Mr Doom started laying it all out!

If you're a reader of my blog (and apparently you are!) you probably know that the first thing they do when they drag you into the backroom is see how much you weigh. You'ld think they were going to sell cat by the pound out the back door or something! HA!! Ok, anyways, it appears that I've lost 8/10's of a pound since May which if you do the math (which I don't personally do) it means I've lost almost a pound. That's a bit if you now weight 10.22 pounds like me now. I'm not sure what that last "2" in 10.22 means. I bet it's less than what an upchucked furball weighs! This weight loss is probably bad news ...
Next, Brooke, another one of the medical types since she has a listening thing around her neck, seems obsessed with time. She's timing my heart I guess. She kept holding me tight - I guess she couldn't get enough of me!

I was hauled in here as a patient, but Brooke promoted me to Doctor! I assumed that's what the ritual of draping the heart listening device around my neck meant. And I assumed wrong. Apparently they were having a little fun at my expense but we were all having fun. And with these guys that just makes you suspicious!

So far nobody has shoved a needle into me so I'm not going to complain just yet!Finally the head guy gets to see me. He's my board certified oncologist. Most cats don't have board certified medical staff. But not all cats are VIP cats either - I'm not to blame for that. I'm not even sure what that certified stuff means but my owner thinks it's a big deal.
Dr Prouix was doing a major check up on me when this wise-cracker started goofing off! Probably the janitor or something! Turns out he's another one of those board certified vets (Dr Trostel), although let's be honest he wasn't acting like it! From the looks of it, Dr Prouix thought he was acting pretty silly. Dr Prouix is a real professional.

So what's up with my medical self - well, it would appear that it was kind of complicated. I know it's complicated because Dr Prouix always draws pictures since my owner doesn't seem to catch on very fast.
I had my web guy highlight the important things. I'm pretty sure I got it all right. It's not like I have a DR in Vet Science. It's a custom hand drawn picture of me. It doesn't look like me because Dr Prouix isn't exactly an artist and he was drawing my insides. It feels like I have more in me than what he drew, but he's the doctor. He gets paid for knowing this stuff.

So what's the bottom line? What's this cryptic diagram really mean? Well, if I had paid better attention I might have more to say but here's what I remember. The coughing is probably a little asthma. You can see in the diagram that my bronchial tubes get enlarged and that will cause problems with enough air getting into my lungs. That must not be too bad because Dr Prouix didn't give me any drugs for it. He said my steroids would help with it. I like the steroids - nothing like having a little JUICE in my system for chasing and murdering all the new mice that the bird feeder is attracting. The sneezing is no big deal. I'm not sure what the other internal parts of me do. Neither of these are symptoms of any cancer problem which is in remission so it's not a problem anyway. I guess. Dr Prouix said he wasn't worried about my weight loss yet, but that my owners should mix my food up a bit and serve me some even more elegant and expensive treats. Ok, I'm paraphrasing what he said a little, but it wouldn't be the first time a trip here resulted in me getting more of the good food - Fancy Feast Grilled Tuna in Gravy. I think they'll need to get me more of a variety. As long as it's the grilled stuff in gravy, that's good. Maybe they should start getting me those Pounces again! Oh - and that little bump on my neck. Dr Prouix said he thought it was a wart. THAT was a little embarrassing! Warts are disgusting. At least mine is covered by fur so it's not a cosmetic problem like with humans so as long as I'm looking good, it's not big deal!

After all this my head was kind of spinning. How the photographer guy actually got a picture of my head spinning is beyond me, but that's how it feels after all this diagnosing stuff. It's not exactly unpleasant. Maybe it's the drugs they got me on. Better living through chemistry, I always say. Actually, my owner is the one who always says that. I think he has problems.

Hey - look! The camera got a picture of the medical bill on top of the PPU. One thing these big medical bills prove is just how important I am! As far as I'm concerned the bigger, the better!! (I bet my vets are with me on that!!)

On the way home I was pretty pooed out. It wasn't a bad visit. They didn't "put me under" and they didn't reinforce their vampiric tendencies by removing some of my blood like they usually do. They got somebody new who seems to really like me. And to top if off, Maggie stopped in to say hi and show some love! She's usually my medical technician but for some reason she didn't get assigned to my case today. I hope for her sake they didn't have her doing dog duty. THAT would suck. But she had a few good medical tips for my owner. I think she understands that he needs all the help he can get.

You can see from this surveillance photo from the car what I did on the way home - nap time! And if you're wondering why my owners car has a surveillance camera in it so am I! I'm outta here!

WE NEED HEALTH CARE REFORM NOW!!!

2009-08-17T23:12:00.000-07:00

OMG!! WTF!! If there was ever a time for internet acronyms, it is NOW! Do I have a story to tell today! And it's a good case for health care reform too! I'm sure your attention is drawn by the images of utter horror that can be seen below. I don't want to come off hysterical or nothing, but I'm used to excellent medical care. My two oncologists at California Veterinary Specialists are board certified. One even wrote the textbook on cat cancer! My cardiologist is board certified. And my radiologist is board certified although he has a funny last name. The only medical personnel who has actually come see me at home has been Jennifer (a real sweetie) who is a highly trained vet tech from the Canyon Crest Animal Hospital (located in the upscale Canyon Crest neightborhood where I live).
SO, I ask --- What the hell were my owners thinking when they invited a voodoo nurse over to give me a shot!! (see above surveillance photo) We get weirdos visiting all the time around this hole, but I got to admit, a voodoo nurse is going to catch almost any cat off guard! I mean only some kind of wackjob would expect a voodoo nurse to walk in the door, right??

I don't like shots in the first place. I have to go get a damn blood test every month! And even with all the steroids they pump me with for my illness, I was plain afraid! Actually it was that special kind of afraid you get with voodoo nurses. In case anyone isn't buying this rather incredible story, please note the condition of the syringe (with attached needle, I might add!). That's right! It's an EMPTY syringe! She shot me up with some kind of stuff. And unless she's a certified medical practitioner (and let's face it, I think this is doubtful), I'm wondering what kind of curse she gave me. Did she inject me with chicken blood? Voodoo types sacrifice chickens and use chicken blood for all kinds of unspeakable acts. I'd go into more detail, but like I said, they are unspeakable. Not that I care what happens to chickens. Chickens are just big birds. They deserve whatever happens to them anyway. All this probably doesn't make any difference. I take a human cancer drug. If I got something in me that kills cancer, I'm sure it can deep six whatever voodoo curse she injected into me!

I don't think she was a legitimate voodoo nurse. I'm pretty sure she was undead though. She has autopsy scars. She's the first person I've met with autopsy scars! Maybe she escaped from the morgue! HA!
It was a weird situation for sure. But I headed out back, got a drink out of the bird bath, took a big stretch and then headed off for a nap. I don't think the voodoo curse she injected me with will do me any harm.

I don't buy all that kind of voodoo, superstitious, quasi-religious mumbo jumbo. This is a world of science and that's why I go to all my board certified specialists for my medical care. They are trained in science stuff. Plus, when you got 9 lives you don't have to worry about voodoo curses anyway. If this happens again, I'll just sink a pair of claws into her! That's how I give "injections!"

Ali - My sexy new friend!

2009-08-10T21:46:00.000-07:00

There's so many people visiting me lately there's no denying my popularity now! Not that I'm planning on getting a big head or anything. Ali popped over the other day but somehow they didn't get a photo of me with her then. I can't tell you how hard it is to get reliable help. I think I might have been out back dining on mouse anyway.

Ali is wearing a bridal dress but I should probably clear up right away that we aren't getting married. A person can't marry a cat! Besides, I spend all my time worrying about me. I don't think she got married here because there wasn't a minister or some official kind of person around here.

She seemed pretty happy to see me (see photo) so I hope she comes around more often. Maybe she won't wait until she's about to go before giving me some hug! It's not like I'm hard to find. If I'm not sleeping on the owner's pillow, I'm probably on patrol in the backyard which is my major responsibility around here.

I GOT STUCK GOOD! RIGHT IN THE JUGULAR!!

2009-08-08T20:20:00.000-07:00

It was a perfectly good Saturday morning. Not that I make a habit of keeping track of days. I'm just trying to be complete. I don't mean Anyways, I come in from my morning prowl/patrol and am swept up by my owner (the big one), which is fine since he always rubs my head with his face (it sounds disgusting but it feels good), and then get the shock of the week. I'm immediately tossed into this PPU (portable prison unit in case you haven't been reading my blog). Well I can tell you one thing - it's never good news to be tossed into one of those. Next think I know we're in the car and I have a feeling he's about to deliver me to the cat doctor. It's not like I've been sick either. They keep me pumped up on so much steroids I'm pretty much invincible. Ask any dog that has made the mistake of straying into my yard!

Here's the problem with being stuck in a PPU. I get to the Canyon Crest Veterinary Hospital and this house cat comes by getting all hissy with me. I bet they don't let her out. Vets don't like letting cats go outside. I guess Vets like pussies for cats! :) If I wouldn't have been trapped in this cage I would have sunk a paw full of claws into that prissy head of hers.

So the deal is that I have to give some blood again. This is happening way too often. One of my oncologists (all board certified) have to make sure my blood is ok before they give me more cancer drugs. I'm assuming that Jennifer who is one of the vet techs here, who looks after me when my owners desert me from time to time, will be taking charge here but she's nowhere to be seen.

I've always told about what a medieval torture practice this blood letting is but nobody believed me.

Well Here's PROOF! It took two of them to get it from me. They actually poke a needle into my JUGULAR VEIN! Then they unsquirt my blood into a tube.

It's pretty sick if you ask me! The two culprits are Charlene and Claudia. That's Claudia who has me in some kind of steel grip. She clearly has experience doing this. Charlene is the one who seems awfully handy with the needle. There were a bunch of dogs in the place. I bet she likes poking needles into dogs. At least that would be funny!

You got to be pretty good with the needle to nail the jugular vein. One slip and you got blood all over! I was disappointed that Jennifer wasn't in there with me. But she was there helping us check out. There's quite a bit of paper work with important medical procedures like this. And by paper work I mean the green kind of paper (see photo). But one thing for sure, I'm worth it!

Tia: My sexy new friend!

2009-08-07T23:26:00.000-07:00

I wasn't expecting any company today but I got a surprise when Tia showed up. She's a new face around here. That's good because we needed a new face around here. And one as pretty as hers really classes this place up!

Her and my owner spent all afternoon taking pictures. It was pretty busy in there so I avoided it as I didn't want any disruption of my napping.

I checked things out after they got done. This is when I got the squeeze (if you know what I mean) from Tia. We hit it off. Not a surprise, I know. People usually like me a lot. As far as I'm concerned she can come back anytime!

Checking out the Bride! woohoo! Tarra comes to visit me (again!)

2009-06-28T03:35:00.000-07:00

Tarra's one of my oldest sexy friends! I mean I've known her a long time - she's not like old or anything like my one owner. She came to see me last June according to my assistant who keeps my calendar. I don't pay much attention to times and dates. Well this time Tarra is getting married! This is pretty exciting! Naturally she wanted me in her photo. Not because she was marrying me (that would be weird!), but she likes me in her photos. I think she feels it gives her images an edgy feel with me in them. I'm happy to help out naturally. It's not like I got anything else really important to do.Her and the photographer were taking lots of bridal pictures. You can see me in this first photo. I sort of popped up so I could be right there with Tarra. It was pretty fun. But I don't think the photographer liked me that much. He seemed easily annoyed. I don't think he gets along with fun people (like Tarra) and celebrities (like me) very well.

I was able to get into a second bridal portrait too! That was fun. I kinda poked my head in from the side. It's pretty obvious Tarra doesn't mind. She looks pretty in every picture of her. So do I, but the photographer seemed to lose his cool when I got into this picture. All I wanted to do was get a better look at the view (if you know what I mean!).
The photo guy yelled at me. He must be pretty religious too because he was saying quite of few religious words although I don't really think I'm a God forsaken cat. As pissy as he was, I seriously doubt that he gets any direct communications from God. He should ask WWJD? I don't think Jesus would yell at me. He seems to be big into that Salvation Army Couture <--- that's a joke! I came into the world with 9 lives and I got plenty left. Humans only get one life and assuming the photographer is a human (HA!!) he's got one life. He better watch out yelling at a cat. I'm not threatening him (technically speaking), but he better watch his P & Qs! I'm not sure what P&Qs mean exactly, but I bet the "P" stands for Pussy. That would make sense.

They kept taking more pictures. She only needed one picture of her glamorous self in that fancy wedding dress. It didn't make much sense that they had to take that many. I think it's because he's not a very good photographer. He should take lessons or something. When you're taking pictures of someone as pretty as Tarra you could probably be a pretty lame photographer! How hard can it be to take a good picture of Tarra. Point camera, push button. I think that pretty much covers all one would need to do.

So I thought if he's going to keep taking pictures, I'll poke my adorable Main Coon mug into one of these last pictures. He put some stuff on the one side so I couldn't hop in to photo like I did on the last one. But the coast was clear on the other side. So in I pop! (see photo below) This was pretty funny and I look really good too. Tarra thought this was pretty funny. So did I. The photoguy apparently doesn't have a sense of humor though since he knocked over one of those fancy light things when he tried to shoo me away. He got pretty steamed. I think he was mad that he lost his cool in front of a pretty bride like Tarra. Given the photodude's lack of humor I decided not to get into more of the photos. At the time I thought they weren't going to turn out very good anyway, but I was wrong about that. Which just proves that you don't have to be a good photographer to get a glamorous picture of Tarra. No offense to the photographer. I'm sure he's good at something (I'm a milk bowl half full kind of cat). It's not my fault he's sorta lame at taking pictures. Tarra and I hung out for a while and she scratched me under the chin and petted me for awhile. She knows all my pleasure zones! It would have been perfect if she would have sneaked me a bowl of Grilled Fancy Feast Tuna with Gravy. I still have no idea who she's going to marry in that dress. Nobody deserves to be that lucky!

Tarra Terrorism: The Shocking Story Revealed!

2009-06-28T02:06:00.000-07:00

It was a pretty fun weekend with Tarra and Dave staying over. It was pretty much okay that they were staying in the spare bedroom where I usually go to get away from it all. I like sleeping on all the pillows. The first night they closed the door. I'm not used to closed doors around this place. And closed doors usually magically open when I want to go through them. I wanted to find out what was going on in the room so naturally I scratched the door. That usually does the trick. I guess Tarra's not used to cats because she thought it was a mouse in the closet! That was a first! But she got over that and couldn't get enough squeeze time in with me. She gives good squeeze too!
As the Huskercat, I'm always happy to see fans wear their Husker clothes. Let's face it, Husker clothes wearers deserves a little extra respect. So I was dismayed when the backyard surveillance camera caught THIS picture! Some group of Tarra-terrorists got together and tossed my friend into the swimming pool! She was obviously caught off guard by this low rent, juvenile behavior! Humans sure look goofy when they get tossed into the pool. I guess it is kind of funny.
Getting thrown in the pool is a cat's worst nightmare! I don't mind chasing mice and lizards into the pool so they can drown. Let's face it - they have it coming. It's really funny when they get sucked into the skimmer. Talk about a thrill! The way I see it I'm just helping them get to vermin heaven a little faster. But Tarra recovered in a jiffy as can be seen by her theatric finish. She's a sweetie for putting up with this kind of abuse. I'd claw someones eyes out! Who knows what she'd do if she had claws.
It's nice having so much company lately. My owners get kind of boring after awhile. I like the excitement and fast paced life of having lots of visitors who will all throw some attention my way.

Dave: It's Only Fair

2009-06-28T01:53:00.000-07:00

Tarra got her picture taken with me which naturally made Dave feel sort of left out. I hate to see him get all mopey. So to get his spirits back up, we all thought it was best for Dave and me to get our picture taken together. He's a real photographer, not a wanna-be photographer like my owner. I'm sure he taught my owner a bunch of stuff.

It's pretty obvious that I had the desired effect - just look at the smile on Dave's mug! I think he gets down because him and my owner sure seem to make taking a picture awfully complicated. I think they should get a more simple camera or something. Maybe that way their brains wouldn't hurt so much! HA!!

More pics of ME!

2009-06-22T23:12:00.000-07:00

More pics, more pics!!

So here's the backyard where I chase lizards and murder little birds. I got it pretty good!!They kept bothering me for more pics so to get them off my back we took these pictures. I hope everyone loves the photos of me as much as I do!!

Here I am snoozing! It's a hobby of mine. I'm always good for a big yawn.

Ok - that's all for now!!

More of Huskercat fan Kira! Lucky us!!

2009-06-17T19:51:00.000-07:00

Hey Huskercat Fans! My Huskercat blog has come into possession of more photos of one of my recent Sexy New Friends - Kira. One of my owners, the one with the camera, drug Kira at the beach to take more pictures. I guess he felt like he didn't have enough photos of her! I thought that was kind of dumb until I saw the new pictures! She looks really good in that Husker t-shirt that she was holding me against (see a couple posts ago). FYI, they have beaches in Nebraska too. The ones out here are bigger (good) and saltier (bad). I guess it's a wash. It seems pretty clear to me that she was going for a glamorous look here. You can't get cooler than lifting your big sunglasses like that . She seems to have all the moves too (if you know what I mean!). It now seems pretty clear that a cat's web site cannot have too many photos of Kira. That's just the way it is when you do the math.
Here she looks like a movie star or something. She sorta looks like she might tip over leaning like that. She's really skinny. I bet the breeze was blowing her like that.
I wasn't there - us cats obviously don't care to hang out at sandy, wet beaches - but I guess she had lifeguard duty. I hate to see someone have to work so hard! In this last picture she's standing in front of her summer beach home that is overlooking Newport Beach.
Wow! I wouldn't mind hanging out there with her! As long as she stocks Fancy Feast Grilled Tuna with Gravy - that's not negotiable. I bet she'd go down to the beach and snag a fresh tuna that she could grill with some gravy for the neighborhood cats. I would invite them all over. It would be the least I could do since I got it so good.

Natalie!! She came all the way from Florida to see me!

2009-06-16T22:18:00.000-07:00

This was a fun day! Natalie has come over to see me lots of times. Nobody has come to see me as much as her. She's come to see me more than any other Sexy New Friend or even normal people. She moved to Florida which put a dent in her coming over so much. But she decided that a trip to California was the only way she'd get to see me again. Smart girl! I can't go to her. I get catrophobia if I'm in a cargo hold of a big plane. That's where they put us. We don't get to go on the plane. Jerks. Anyways ...

Natalie gives good hug! She asked about me almost as soon as she walked in the door! I was sleeping on the owner's pillow in the bedroom when she arrived, but I'm sure she asked about me right away. They did come in right away and got me for the official photo (seen here). She got all dolled up for it too. That was pretty cool!

There's always a weird time when Natalie comes over. Her and my owner (not the cute one) always toast with cans of Canfield's carbonated diet Chocolate Fudge drink. Chicago Tribune reporter Bob Greene reviewed the product and described it as tasting "like a calorie-free hot fudge sundae."
Apparently Bob is a weirdo just like Natalie and my owner. I think most of us can admit that diet Chocolate Fudge Soda is just disgusting! And this from me, a fierce beast who eats birds raw. And by raw, I mean alive! (Hey, PeTA - suck on that!) Maybe if Fancy Feast made it, but what humans will put in their mouths at times is just amazing! I see some pretty weird things around here that's for sure!

My photographer took bunches of pictures. I think he does that because he's not very good at it. But at least he got a couple good ones of me and Natalie. I'm very photogenic. Put me and Natalie together and we're da bomb (I'm trying to keep up with all the new lingo). She has a pretty happening lifestyle in Tampa. It's hard to keep up with her! Fortunately expectations are low about hipness for a cat. We sleep too much to be very hip.

Sometimes people tell me I'm a little harsh on the photographer. Well, take a look at this "photo." Natalie was hanging out with me for dinner. I was having Fancy Feast Grilled Tuna in Gravy. I think she had a Coke and some beef jerky. She should try the Tuna. At least it doesn't look like a corpse! But my point was how do you take a photo this bad? It's all blurry and stuff.

She was here all day though. That makes up for a few bad pictures.

Big Fan of Me - Sulia comes to see me again!

2009-06-11T02:58:00.000-07:00

Sulia is one of my best friends. She at least comes to see me every now and then! She always looks good in her Huskery outfits but she didn't get a good hold on me for this first picture. I almost slipped out! She's really friendly so don't let her badass look fool you.

You can see what I mean in this next picture. She's definitely the lovey-dovey type! Which is just fine with me, of course. I'm not one to turn down natural affection. Lots of people feel this for me. Boy, my tail looks really good in this photo too. You can always tell how a cat is doing by how perky their tail is. Not everyone knows this.

Too bad my handlers didn't take the time to give me a good brushing before someone went to the trouble to take these pictures. Although they didn't go to too much trouble - I wonder how I get a photo guy who will put a little more effort into these things???

Kira: My Sexy New Friend from Oregon!

2009-06-10T21:21:00.000-07:00

There's a two year story behind my Sexy New Friend from Oregon. First of all, Oregon is in another state! Or it is another state ... one of the two. I should have paid more attention. All I know is that it's a long ways away and Kira came all this way to meet me! It's not too surprising really since I'm a Husker celebrity. Apparently she's a big fan since she was wearing a Husker shirt and big red skirt when she met me. I appreciate this kind of gesture. She's very thoughtful like this. By big red skirt I really meant Big Red skirt. Her skirt is obviously rather tiny! HA! (btw, that wasn't a criticism!)

I'd like to make this an educational moment. Let's face it, most people can afford to be smarter. Notice that Kira happens to know how to hold me. Most people don't quite get how to do this correctly. I'm pretty sure she has a cat too. I should do a workshop on proper cat holding and embracing or something. I hope people are paying attention.

This photo demonstrates one of my finer qualities. I make people happy. I don't think she could be happier! People get happy just hanging out with me. It's understandable.

I had a suspicion that Kira had a cat. That explains her nurturant ability to hold me. She has lots of experience, obviously. Kira's cat is named Mufasa (surveillance photo shown here). He's about 4 years old so he doesn't have the kind of worldly experience that I do. But he's got it pretty good living with Kira. Maybe Kira would be my godmother and take me if something horrible happened to my owners .... (not that I'm wishing that or anything!)

The photo-grapher wasn't quite on the ball. If he had been he would have got the picture of Kira laying a smooch on me. If I had a better photographer, he wouldn't have missed this kind of opportunity. A photo is worth 1,000 words (plus or minus, I guess). A photo of Kira actually delivering a kiss would have served as a model for my future visitors.

So I said that there was a two year background on Kira's visit. She found out about me when she was commissioned to do a painting of me. She's a professional artist, not some hack (she even has a college degree in art stuff). It was quite an honor to have an artist commissioned to do my portrait. They must have paid big bucks for that - artists don't come cheap! Even though I've been famous for quite a while, it was my first portrait by a real artist (not a photographer who calls himself an "artist"). I think we can all agree that real artists paint pictures. Photographers just push buttons and annoy you. Real artists can make sculptures too. It would be cool to have a sculpture of me! Maybe they could get Michel Angelo to do it. I've heard he's really good.

They were talking about the painting and I guess my owner was painted in the outfit of her favorite Anime character. I still don't know where Anime is. It's probably farther away than Oregon. Notice that Kira is in native Anime dress. I think it's a very advanced culture given how the Anime worship cats (note the cat ears she's wearing).
I've put a closeup of Kira's painting so you can see me better. I'm on the shoulder of a painting of my owner (the cute one). But Kira did an excellent job of rendering a representation of me. I think "rendering" means painting something. I've never used that word. I just heard my owner keep saying it. I think he was trying to impress the artist somehow.

I'm getting bargelloed!

2009-05-30T00:36:00.000-07:00

I hope I didn't scare anyone with my title. I'm not going to prison. I haven't been that bad! Last time I looked murdering birds isn't a crime. And I wouldn't go a prison in Italy anyway even though I think Chef Boyardee is the finest in canned pasta. I'm sticking with Fancy Feast Grilled Tuna in Gravy. But I'm getting off the point here. I'm quite a reader and so I knew about the Bargello Palace in Florence, Italy (for my Italian readers, the Palazzo del Popolo). What I didn't know is that bargello is some kind of needlework. I thought it was a little weird when my owner (the cute one) put this cardboard thing with colored strings up to me a bunch of times.

Even though it was weird, I can't complain too much since she kept laying kisses on me. I encourage that kind of behavior in humans.
So here's the deal. She's doing a bargello needlepoint thing and I'm in it! I'm already in a stained glass piece she did and a big ceramic dish thing that is in the back yard. This bargello thing she's making will have me needlepointed into it. That's why she is trying to match different threads to the different colors of fur I run with. She started on me but had to rip it out. She was mad and stuff. I guess it's hard to do. I just hope she does a good job of me!
When I walk around this place I enjoy seeing photos of me on the wall. I like seeing me in all kinds of things so I'll soon be a fan of bargello assuming she does a good job of it. So stay tuned. I'm sure when she gets it done one of my Huskercat documentary photographers will snap a pic of it.

Two Pusses in the Pool! Yippie!

2009-05-20T23:48:00.000-07:00

Passion came over last week and now she came to see me again. I didn't recognize her at first! Her hair isn't blue anymore! Now it's kind of a reddish color like some of my fur. I think I know where she got the idea for her color change now! Anyway, I was sitting on top of the hot-tub because it's really warm. It's warm all the time I think because it's a hot-tub. I guess she came over for a swim. It was kinda of hot, but the water is till pretty chilly. But that didn't stop her. She was running and jumping into the deep end and everything. It beats me why humans like to go swimming - the only thing that happens when you go swimming is you get really wet which just sends chills up my spine!

It was just two pusses in the pool! I say two because she was wearing a swim suit that was a leopard print. It wasn't real leopard because if it was she would have been tossed in jail for awhile. You can't go around with leopard fur bikinis no matter how good she would look in one! MEOW!! Even worse than jail time would be the PeTA people coming over to demonstrate and spewing fake blood all over. What a bunch of nutjobs! PeTA kills more cats and dogs than they save - it's a big scandal. Actually, the big scandal was their killing all of the cats. Frankly, I don't think anyone would care about putting the dogs out of their misery. They lead such pathetic lives. Slobbering all over, fetching sticks and balls, rolling over on command. Is that retarded or what!! If they had a brain, they would feel humiliated all the time for being suckered into doing that. And if they felt appropriately humiliated they'd probably put themselves out of their misery! It would be a mass suicide - like a religious cult or something! Humans know better than to interupt a cat's nap time for shit like that.

So, anyway, it made me pretty nervous when she decided to love me up when I was walking to the back to scout for lizards. I ain't got anything about gettin' the luv, but seriously, did she have to hold me over the swimming pool! If she would have dropped me it's doubtful anyone would have ever found me in 18,000 gallons of chilly water!

Well, it was kind of a 1 babe / 1 cat swimming party today with her as the swimmer person and me as the luv object!

Nothing wrong with that!

Granulocytes, Reactive Airway Disease & lil' ol' ME!

2009-05-19T21:30:00.000-07:00

Well, let's drag out the PPU (that's a Portable Prison Unit) and drag the ol' cat to the cat doctor! Apparently that's what my owner guy thought was a perfectly good way to spoil an otherwise perfectly good day and nap!

So this photodocudrama begins at CVS. No, not the drug store, but California Veterinary Specialists. They wouldn't just drag a cat like me for a drug store to get fixed! When you have a specialist type of Vet it's important that they be board certified. I insist on that. And this visit is not starting off well - the owner brings some lemonaide for himself and then has the nerve to set it down right in front of me who, by the way, has nothing to eat or drink. That's rude!

It's all kind of annoying because they pulled me in here just because I've been sneezing a bunch lately. My owner (the cute one) has been sneezing a lot lately too, but I don't see her going to a veterinary clinic. The people who live next door have a dog. I'm probably just allergic to that damn thing.

So how could this get worse you ask? Even if you weren't wondering this, I'm going to tell you. When they first dragged my ass to this place I thought CVS was for Cat Veterinary Specialists. I got disabused of THAT idea when I saw that this place let dogs in!

(see dog in this photo - it's just hanging out with some person) What's up with that? How the hell is a cat supposed to be medically comfortable when they just let any old dog in. The thing isn't even on a leash! Plus, it's ugly. It looks like an albino rat or something. Whatever it is, I hope it underwent some painful medical procedures. Maybe it won't come back!

The next thing I know is Mr. "let's drag the cat in a place that accommodates dogs" Owner has a compassionate moment and decides to open the door of my outdated PPU.

What a dumbass! I make a break for it! He didn't see that coming! Although he didn't see it coming, for an old guy he has pretty quick reflexes and snagged me just in time for the arrival of the medical team. So enter the medical team of Maggie and David.

I kinda remember David from the first time they hauled me to this place. He was very nice in explaining all kinds of things to my owners who were understandably very worried about their celebrity cat (that would be me). He and my owner were chatting it up like they were old high school buddies or something. David said he only got to this clinic when they needed him since he usually works at the Veterinary Gulag down in Carlsbad. He seems to be someone with some common sense. I mean why would you want to work in a place where they let dogs in! He probably hates dogs as much as I do. It must be nice to work somewhere with a NO DOGS policy.

In case you've never been to one of these cat medical specialty clinics, the first thing they do to you is check your weight. You'ld think this was some kind of Hollywood weight loss clinic or something with their preoccupation on how much a cat weighs.

I come in at a svelt 11 pounds, 1 ounce and I haven't even dieting! That's assuming their scale is right, but given what my owners pay this place I'm sure it's an excellent scale.

Then what happens is that they take some blood from you. This place is big on taking blood. That's a little suspicious if you ask me. I have no idea what they do with it. When my owner asks them about it, they just say it's a CBC test. I may be a cat, but CBC isn't even a word. My owner is pretty gullible.

I know what you're thinking - how much more can I take??? Well, what happens next is they slap me down on this cold, hard steel slab and then it takes two of them to hold me down while they beam x-rays into me. X-rays are radioactive which sounds pretty bad, but my owner said something about they'll give me a glow so I don't know where I got that impression.

I didn't know they were good for me when they did this to me which is why it took two of them to hold me down. I wasn't going to go easy! I got this surveillance photo to prove what happened to me in case I need to talk to the Cat Authority, but that probably won't be necessary now. My attorney tells me that holding a cat down like this is standard medical practice in California. But then anything goes in California!

Someone took this picture of me. I think it was Maggie again. She's always taking pictures of me. Why they needed another head shot of me is beyond me but I'm used to that kind of thing. There must be lots of celebrity animals here to have a staff photographer. As a professional photographer she should get her own camera though. She keeps borrowing my owners camera. You gotta wonder what's up with that!

So this is a picture of my insides. It's more like my bones as they're held together with my insides. Or something like that. It's what happens when you get x-rayed. That's got to be a hell of a strong camera. It's hard to imagine it's not dangerous. Plus I don't have a special glow either. Maybe you have to turn off the lights.

These x-ray pictures don't read themselves and that's where Dr Ogilvie (or Dr O, as I refer to him) comes in. He's one of my vets but he's not an ordinary vet. He's one of those Board Certified types in two areas - oncology and internal medicine. That's good because it was my insides that needed checking. Board certified in two things - talk about an overachiver! It's like a Grade A steak. Sort of. Well, not really, I guess. But it means he knows a lot. He's my oncologist - he even wrote a textbook on it. So I guess he's like a professor of cats. He seems pretty happy in the photo. I think this is where he thought things looked pretty good in me. I know I look really good on the outside and now it's official - I look good on the inside!

I don't mean to make a big deal out of it but to be extra careful, Dr O called Dr Mohammadian, who is a board certified cat radiologist. There were little white things in my lungs and so I got myself diagnosed with Reactive Airway Disease which apparently means you have little white things in your lungs. The doctors said it's nothing to worry about. The thing is Reactive Airway Disease sounds like something to worry about. Anything that ends with disease just seems like it's a problem, if you know what i mean! The steroids I'm on will help it and if it doesn't they would put me on an inhaler. Yeah, right, sure they would. There's about as much chance of them sticking my head in an inhaler as me catching an invisible pink unicorn in the hot-tub. So you do the math on that one! After word got out that I was in good health, everybody got pretty excited about it. I didn't mean to cause so much worry. Everyone seems to be so concerned about health around here. Not counting the weirdness of taking blood from every animal that walks in here.

So after all this excitement reverberates around the medical facility, Dr O personally carries me out to my owner. I feel a little bad because he's been sitting out there for a while with nothing to do but stress and worry about me. So I'm glad he'll be all relieved to get the good report!

So Dr O and Maggie came out and couldn't figure out where my owner was. I thought maybe he died or something but it turns out he was just outside yaking it up on the cell phone. Dr O pokes his head out and my owners gets all like Oh, sure, hey, got to get off, looks like the cat's done. Looks like the cat's done???? WTF!! Like I'm a piece of bread in the toaster! And why wasn't he in the waiting area where he was supposed to be. I'm surprised they didn't find him sleeping out back in a dumpster now! Dr O gives all the good news to my owner. My CBC blood test shows that I'm still kicking the ass of all the cancer cells. Even my Granulocytes in my white blood cells are perky and just fine. I have no idea what that means but my owners was smiling about it. The airway disease thing isn't that big a deal since I'm on steroids anyway, the Doc said. I'd hate to go off the steroids. I may be an old cat, but with The Juice, I can punt the ass of any other cat out of the back yard without even thinking about it! And dogs? Hell, dogs won't even come near a cat on steroids. I think they can smell it. Dogs are good smellers. That's what they have instead of a brain! HA!!!! Anyways, he asked Dr O what happens if my sneezing gets worse and he said they could put me on an inhaler. For what must have been a reason reaching back into my owners life as a serverely abused child, he thought the idea of me being on an inhaler was pretty funny. He made some kind of insensitive joke about it to Dr O, who didn't sound like he appreciated it one damn bit. No Board Certified Cat Doctor is going to laugh at crap like that. It was inappropriate and it wasn't even funny. My owner has an asthma inhaler. Maybe a wet furball deposit would be appropriate there. My owner might finally put 2 and 2 together, although I'd keep my wallet in my pants on that bet. Not that I have a wallet. Or pants. It's just an expression. I don't need a wallet - I get pretty much whatever I want by just meowing a lot. So we're outta here!

While we're sitting in the truck and my owner is fiddling with something, we spot this in the mirror. It's hard to make out but some guy has a dog on a leash (how humiliating, although completely understandable) and the dog is just peeing on the tire of that car! Dogs are nothing but ignorant trailer trash. God they disgust me!!

A good example of owner guilt is how I was lavished with an extra can of Grilled Fancy Feast Tuna with Gravy upon my arrival at home. If they don't forget to feed me tonight, that means THREE cans of FF Tuna today! Man! That's livin' the good life!

That's my report. Except for my owner, everyone treated me pretty darn good at the clinic. It means a lot when they get all happy dancing and stuff when they find out my insides are in good shape.

reflections on the birds

2009-05-16T16:24:00.001-07:00

I've written before about that damn bird feader right outside the door here. The owners fixed it so it's really high so there's like no way I'll snag one on the feeder. But the bird feed (they eat seeds which if you think about it is really retarded!) drops to the ground. When that happens I can spring to action. Like I was wanting to do here! Except nobody would let me out! There were several birds dumb enough to perch themselves not but 3 feet in front of me but there was this big glass door keeping me from my evolutionary responsibility of murdering a bird or two. And then eating them. YUM! So there I was (see photo) all ready for lunch but the cafe du Écouter ( <--- that's french for bird!) was closed to my kind. Which is discrimination and that ain't right. Plus, it's like they're trying to starve me! Birds are tasty but sometimes the feathers make me barf the bird right back up although it would still be dead. Maybe the owners think I have an eating disorder. That could be since as a celebrity I might be mistook for a celebrity with one of those binge/barf things going on.

I don't know, but all this is just whipping my appetite up! I wish they had a Fancy Feast (Grilled, of course) with bird meat. They have chicken but chickens aren't real birds. I got to go badger one of the owners into dinner!

Passion Rayne - My Sexy New Friend!

2009-05-10T22:15:00.000-07:00

Today was kind of a bore. It was Mother's Day and frankly, I have no idea who my real mom was. Probably some stray cat (not that that's a bad thing - everyone can't be as lucky as me!). My real mom now is the cute owner. I probably should have got her a card or something. Anyways, today was kind of a snoozer until Passion showed up. I don't mean like some kind of barely controlled emotion kind of Passion, I mean this girl called Passion - that's her name! But I hardly noticed her unusual name because she has blue hair! I've never seen a person with blue hair! Even with some of the wacky things that go on around here she's my first blue-haired sexy new friend!

A couple times around here we've had visitors with pink hair, but I got to tell you that even for a puss as worldly as me, I've not come across someone with blue hair. But she seemed like everyone else who comes over here - she's quite taken by me as can be seen in this surveillance photo. She's really pretty bold snatching me up like that and plastering a big kiss on me! I'm not complaining, but that's what she did. She had the good taste to PDA me in the HuskerRoom. In most homes this room is simply referred to as the living room. You can see Husker stuff on the wall making this room a shrine to the team and to me.

Here she is posing with me in front of the camera. My owner (not the cute one) thought this event deserved a photo. Which it did. In fact, I'm a little surprised my webmaster only put two photos of me and Passion here. The photographer took more than that. Sometimes I don't know what's going on in his head. It's hard to get good help.

It's possible that Passion is someone's evil twin. It's pretty well known that when a person with red hair has an evil twin, the evil twin will have blue hair. So Passion could be an evil twin. Or she could be an anime character since lots of anime characters have blue hair.
I'm not sure how one gets to be an anime character but I think she might be anime. I heard her and the big guy talking about anime. I think the anime are a tribe or something. I know the big guy has actually taken pictures of the anime. It all seems pretty suspicious to me.

I like to have photos of me with all my sexy new friends. Especially celebrity friends since I'm a celebrity cat. The only thing I can figure out is that she's famous or something. Otherwise, why would you have blue hair? That's just simple logic. It made me wonder if I should get blue fur! But I'm famous enough as it is. Plus, if I were to get a fur makeover it would obviously have to be Red!

Sulia two times me!

2009-04-26T21:02:00.001-07:00

By two timing me I just mean that this was her second visit. She loved me up both times (see photos). I didn't recognize her at first since she had this biker-chick thing going. I hang with some pretty tough cats so I wasn't intimidated by this. In fact, I love the smell of leather since it's basically a dead animal. I tend to get hungry around leather. It's kind of weird. It's probably some evolutionary thing or something such as that.

I have to say that Sulia cleans up real good. Lurking below that biker jacket was Sulia in a little black dress. My owner (the cute one) says every girl needs a black dress. I wouldn't know anything about that. I'm beginning to wonder if my owner goes to a lot of funerals! I hope Sulia wasn't stopping by on the way from a funeral. Talk about creepy! That would be weird - especially if it was a cat funeral. Not that cat funerals happen very often. That's a big advantage of having nine lives! It would suck to be a human. They die all the time (I watch CNN).

So here I am. All dressed up and nowhere to go. Sulia was all dressed up and nowhere to go too. Since she was all dressed up she should have gone somewhere a little more exciting that this place. Seems like all the responsibilities around here end up on my doorstep. That's just an expression - I don't actually have a door step. I do have a litter box (which shouldn't be discussed in polite company). My owner did make me a little sleeping box thing out of some exotic woods from Africa and South America. It looks really nice and apparently cost a lot. I don't really use it but it was a nice gesture. I prefer to just sleep on his pillow. I wouldn't mind sleeping on Sulia's pillow! That would be heaven! Now I'm all sleepy. That happens quite a bit. I just accept it; I could have worse problems!

Kymberlie Jane - My Sexy New Friend!

2009-04-20T00:21:00.000-07:00

I wanted to share with my fans these photos of Kimberly luving me up. Her name is Kymberlie-Jane, but I just call her Kymberlie. Long names confuse me. If you look up adorable in the dictionary you'll find her picture. Actually I don't know that for sure because I don't have a dictionary, but it would make sense.

She's wearing a Nebraska Football shirt. I might add that she looks really good wearing a red shirt such as this one. I bet she'd look good wearing any Husker shirt. I seriously get the feeling she's going to be in next years Huskergirls calendar. With a smile like her's she's going to go places. She's been in some magazines but I don't remember her being in Cat Fancy. If my owner had a clue about these sorts of things he should send one of these pictures to Cat Fancy. Talk about an easy tear sheet!

She was a lot of fun although I didn't hang around that much. She couldn't keep her hands off of me and she actually has a cat allergy. That's some kind of biological malfunction that some humans have. It doesn't make much sense to me. I'll have to ask one of my board certified vets about this. I don't think God would make people that way. Maybe she lives by a radioactive bomb plant or something. That would probably do it! But that was the only limitation I could find with her. She is real friendly and laughs a lot. I'm not sure what she was laughing about. It's not like my owner is very funny or anything. Maybe she was laughing at him! I kind of snicker at him sometimes - like when I pretend I haven't been fed and he feeds me twice. You gotta admit, that's pretty funny. I pretty much run things around here. A quick mind will get you a lot of places. Actually, your mind doesn't have to be all that quick around this place. But Kymberlie is a smart cookie. It was nice to hang with someone with some brains for a change!

My face went all funny in the last picture. I blame Kimberly for this. She kinda does that to you! It's hard to explain.

Dave - Sexy New Friend??

2009-04-11T10:34:00.000-07:00

Dave is a friend of the family. He seems to be really good buddies with my owner (the big one). They talk so much you'ld think they were a couple of gossiping girls! Not that there's anything wrong with gossiping. Gossiping is an excellent source of rumors. Dave's a friendly kind of guy and I like people who will worship me - period. I have no gender issues. I'm a good example of how you can't prevent love - just look at all the people who can't help themselves when it comes to showing me their love. Not that there's a good reason to help yourself from loving me. Just let the feelings flow.

The thing is - and I'm reluctant to bring it up - is that Dave believes that he qualifies as a SNF, that is, a Sexy New Friend. It's not like I have a bunch of rules about this. I'm not a bureaucat! HA! But seriously, to be a sexy new friend, I've always had three criteria: 1) a person has to be sexy. That only makes sense. 2) You have to be new around here. That makes sense too, otherwise you'ld be an old friend. 3)You have to be friendly to me, in otherwords, a friend. I don't have a high bar for this. Petting me and scratching behind the ears or under my chin are several excellent routes to this status. I'm pretty superficial about it really.

So one could argue, as Dave is, that he should be a SNF. He basically qualifies. His girlfriend said he was sexy (although I think her objectivity is a little suspect). The photos caught him in the act of being friendly. There's no doubt about that. In fact, he's better and pouring on the love than lots of the girls are. But here's the problem! All my other sexy new friends are pretty and wear pretty things. Dave's kind of a slob and doesn't have any fashion sense.

I want to be fair about this because I know whether a person qualifies as being one of my SNFs means a lot to people and really gives a person a status boost. It's called the Huskercat Bump. It's like the Colbert Bump except that I'm a cat. So I think the right thing to do under the circumstances is to have Dave be a SNF but on probationary status. My attorneys say that there's no problem with this from a legal point of view. They also said that someone like Dave should be damn happy with that status too. I think that's right, although when my attorney (who specializes in cat issues) said it, it sounded kind of derogatory somehow. The probationary status phrase was my idea. My attorney first came up with "wannabe" friend but that didn't sound quite right.

So congratulations to Dave - he's my newest sexy new friend! He's one of Tommy's SNFs! Unless he screws it up somehow. He friendly but he's also a little weird. I don't mean that in a negative way.

Kelly - Not a sexy NEW friend because she's visited me lots of times!

2009-04-10T01:31:00.001-07:00

Wow! It was nice to see Kelly again! It had been like 6 months since she visited last. She has to come in from Las Vegas which is a long ways away. Or so I'm told. It's not like anyone has taken me there! I'm obviously worth people traveling long distances. I'm kind of like Baby Jesus since people came from a long way to visit him although I bet he didn't appreciate it much since he was just a baby. I'm not being critical of Baby Jesus - I'm just saying human babies seem sort of stupid. It's like they don't know anything which science has proved, by the way. The last thing I need is a strike against me getting into cat heaven because I pissed off Jesus! It's frankly very questionable that I would get in anyways. I just know that if eating birds and murdering lizards is against the heaven rules, I'm in some serious trouble! But I doubt if birds and lizards have souls so who knows! I might get in after all because if they don't have souls then all my bird and lizard killing sprees would be a public service. Dogs certainly don't have souls - that's pretty obvious and they're retarded too.

But it was about time that she renewed our friendship which involves me getting brushed and petted lots - in case anyone is paying attention. As the first surveillance photo demonstrates I had things to do and places to go but she insisted on some serious public displays of affection (see second photo for proof of this!). I'm not complaining - she's more important than going out and chasing lizards. Especially since it's wasted time since the owners won't let me bring them in. It's really disturbing when humans don't appreciate the pleasure of a fresh kill. Yum!

She had just got back from school or something. I'm concluding that from how she was dressed. I actually don't know where she was. She's very pretty and even more importantly smells good. She's certainly smart enough for school since she has figured out that I eat better if I'm being petted. It makes dinner more interesting somehow.

I think this was her third time to come visit. It's hard to keep track with all my visitors and all. I think sleeping 18 hours a day affects my memory sometimes too. I'm not sure about that though - I don't really remember. And who cares really ... as long as the Fancy Feast Grilled Tuna in Gravy keeps finding its way into my bowl.

Sulia - My Sexy New Friend!!

2009-04-08T22:03:00.000-07:00

This is Sulia and she's wearing a wedding dress. And, no, I didn't get married although it looks like I did! I should circulate this photo to get rid of some female cat stalkers. She said her name was Japanese. It beats me - I've never been to Japanese - it's obviously outside of Riverside. I thought Sulia was a Sufi name. The last thing I need is an argument though. And if Sulia is a Sufi name, I'd like to point out that the Sufi's are in the inner, mystical dimension of Islam and the last thing I need is to have some mystical Islamists mad at me! I got enough troubles as it is!

Sulia is tons of fun and even though I was trying to get away from her (it was dinner time for crying out loud!), I really like her. It's hard to keep up with her, but since I'm a cat it's not expected that I keep up with anyone. It doesn't get any better than being a cat when people take as normal when you sleep 18 hours a day! It's pretty obvious from the big smile I gave her that she's quite fond of me as well. I don't know what it is about me, but people just love me.

She was pretty popular around here too. More than just me. My owner really liked her. The pretty one, not the one who took the picture. And when the pretty one likes someone, I notice they get invited back. I bet she'll be back soon. She always has an invitation from me - that's for sure!

Jessika comes back to see me!

2009-03-27T16:52:00.000-07:00

Jessika stopped by again. I was hoping she would come to visit since she sure seemed to like me when we first met! That's not unusual though, but I really like her. I think her and me are developing a thing, if you know what I mean. I don't mean anything untoward either - last thing I need is another sexual harrassment suit or for the court to think I've violated any of the restraining orders! I've learned my lesson! But at least I know Jessika cares about me. I was left out in the back yard and she was asking about me not that it mattered much to my owner apparently.

I'm not sure what she was up to. It looks like she stopped by on the way home from school. She seems smart so that could be. One thing I've noticed about her is she seems to like pink a lot! She always seems to be wearing something pink. She also changes her clothes quite a bit which I don't understand.

It's not like I have to worry about that. I got one coat and I wear it all the time. And it's a fur coat too so PeTA can go fuck themselves - I'll wear fur no matter what kind of wacked out weirdo political position those fear-mongering shit-for-brains take! I never even heard of them until today on the TV. I heard on the news that this radical group was trying to outlaw fur coats. All I know is that the International Association of Cat Celebrities (IACC) will sue their ass off if they push this. I'm a charter member of IACC, so what I say goes! I do wish they'd change their name from IACC though. IACC kinda sounds like the sound of coughing up a wet furball. I mean ... YUK! All I can say is that us animals who wear fur coats will unite and we will fuck PeTA up so bad they won't be able to sit down for a month!

What the hell would us cats, and bears, and dogs do without their fur coats? You don't have to reflect on that for very long to know that idea came from some mental retard! I heard Jessika say she wanted a cat. I should think about moving in with her. I doubt that I'd be missed much around here if how often I'm left out in the back yard is any indicator! I'm really just interested in us cats though. I could give a rat's ass about dogs! Rat's ass ... that's a weird saying ... I'm not sure where that came from. Sounds like something one of my owners might say though. Come to think of it, I really don't care about bears either. Bears are just godless killing machines anyway. I heard that on TV. Which proves that sleep learning must happen because I'm always sleeping when the owners park themselves in front of the TV. That's when I hang with them - they seem to appreciate it. They need to feel important and it seems to keep the Fancy Feast Grilled Tuna in Gravy coming so all is good.

I'm not sure how to wrap this up. I feel a nap coming on. I'll just say I hope Jessika comes by again. It certainly perks things up around this place! Oh, and PeTA can just suck it! God, they've pissed me off! No fur coats! What a bunch of asses!!! Sorry about all the profanity. I blame my owner since he swears a lot. Cats aren't natural profaners - we're all about love!

Jessika - one of my sexy new friends!

2009-03-24T20:54:00.000-07:00

Finally a fresh face around this dump! When she saw me she said Well, it's about time I got to meet Tommy! Now imagine that being said with youthful enthusiasm. Not like how I just said it. All I can say is that someone got some class all of a sudden around here to invite her over. Her name is Jessika Dorian.

Sounds like a movie star. But then, let's be honest, what would a movie star be doing around here? Slumming? HA! Turns out I got egg on my face (not really, it's just an expression) - she actually has been on TV! She's been in KnightRider. I think it's a movie about horses and King Arthur or something. Anyways, it's always extra special to get nailed with a public display of affection by someone famous. Famous people and I have a lot in common since I'm famous too.

At any rate, she's so pretty she should be on a Fancy Feast cat food can! I would think one of the Grilled varieties with gravy. She seems like that kind of girl to me.

Her hair is the same color as my owner's (the cute owner). It's a very California look. It's also worth noting, and this is important, that Jessica is sporting a Husker jersey! I was thinking she had mighty fine taste in clothes but it turns out that it wasn't hers. It was just laying around here. Jessica grew up here in California so she's probably not a huge Husker fan, but you can tell she's a fan of me! It's been a long time since I got a squeeze with that level of youthful enthusiasm! It would be nice to have some more enthusiastic humans around like her. I hope she comes back. She needs to spend a little more time with me!

PS - that's my christmas portrait on the wall in the background. Notice my head is cut off! Had the photographer taking my picture with Jessika had a little more skill, he would have gotten my entire picture within this picture. And if you do the math, that would have made this picture twice as good!

Bird Feeder or Cat Feeder?

2009-03-08T22:21:00.000-07:00

One of my owners, the pretty one, likes to feed the birds using one of these cheapo feeders which can be seen at the bottom right in this lousy photograph. The stained glass piece is a custom made work of art depicting me wistfully gazing out the door predatorally contemplating a fine bird lunch. It's beyond me why someone would want to take the time, expend the effort, and waste the money on feeding birds. What she doesn't seem to understand is that birds ARE the food!!
In this surveillance photo one of these tasty morsels can be seen feeding at the trough fattening himself up for his eventual demise. The quality of the photos lately has not been up to Huskercat standards. I'm not sure who I should complain to about this.
Here I can be seen after trying to snag a couple of those birds for lunch. I wasn't lucky today, but I ended up with a plate of Fancy Feast Grilled Tuna in Gravy which is better anyway since there are no feathers in it. So should a bird feeder be called a cat feeder when there is a cat in the house? I don't care either - it's not like I'm a food linguist or something! As long as there is Grilled Tuna in Gravy all is good.

Help send me to outer space (sorta)

2009-03-05T00:44:00.000-08:00

So here's the deal - you've probably heard of the International Space Station. I hope you have. I'm a cat and I've heard about it. Anyway, they're shooting another room up. I suspect it's a place for the Russians to stay since they don't use deodorant and so they kinda stink. But they're having a naming contest and I would want all my fans to submit my name (spelled Tommy) so it would be painted on the side of the room thingy they're shooting up there. You can see the official NASA photo of it. Which looks like it's already on the space station. Hmm ... I hope this NASA group is on the up and up. At any rate, if you got enough time on your hands to read my blog, then you got time to click HERE and vote for my name. It's for the greater good. The name Buddy is in the top 10 and I think we can all see that Buddy is a dog's name. Talk about a retarded name! How embarrassing would it be to have a space room named after a dog??!! I'm not prejudiced or anything but dogs have to be the dumbest, smelliest, most worthless animal that runs on four legs. Plus, they're just stupid. So let's avoid a national embarrassment.

Speaking of dogs and outer space ... if my name gets on the space room, it would energize my latest initiative which is to start sending dogs into outer space. My plan is that we round up a bunch of dogs each time the shuttle flies off and when they get in orbit the cat-lovin' astronauts will open the pod bay doors, throw a frisbee into space and all those dogs will run after it! OMG that would be so funny! Those dogs would never figure it all out. So vote for me so that, together, we can punk a bunch of dogs!

Really funny dead dog joke!

2009-03-02T23:20:00.000-08:00

Dead dog photo:"Are you sure?" the distraught woman asked. "He was a great family pet. Isn't there anything else you can do?" The vet paused for a moment and said, "There is one more thing we can do."He left the room for a moment and came back carrying a large cage with a cat in it. The vet opened the cage door and the cat walked over to the dog. The cat sniffed the dog from head to toe and walked back to the cage.

"Well, that confirms it," the vet announced, "your dog is dead." Satisfied that the vet had done everything he possibly could, the woman sighed, "How much do I owe you?" "That will be $330," the vet replied. "I don't believe it!" screamed the woman. "What did you do that cost $330?"

"Well," the vet replied, "it's $30 for the office visit and $300 for the cat scan."

Today's Visit to Dr O!

2009-01-17T22:58:00.000-08:00

It was a perfectly normal Saturday morning. I had already been toasting myself on top of the spa - it's always warm. And then on a warm day you get toasted on both sides. Cats are experts at finding warm spots.

Then the day took a turn for the worse!

As can be seen in this photo I was tricked into this PPU (that's a portable prison unit). There's only one reason they stick me in this thing - they're dragging me to see the cat doctor. This is all messed up because I hadn't even needed any pills for a week! Well, it turns out the owners had run out and I needed a check up before they'd give me any more. So if you're wondering how many PhD's does it take to remember to refill my prescriptions --- well, it has to be more than two!

So we get to CVS and they start loving me up like I'm going to forget this is all happening. I mean CVS as in California Veterinary Specialists, not the drug store, in case anyone was wondering.

So my owner (the cute one) starts yapping away with the vet tech (aka Maggie). I'm sitting in my cage and they're yapping away. Well that's just great. At least she's asking about how I'm doing and then right there in public they start talking about my barfing a couple of times. Sounds like someone has some resentments! Maybe I should talk about when she's barfed! I could if I wanted to. Maggie keeps asking questions about me. I suppose this is so they can soften me up when they take me to the backroom to do stuff to me!

Before we get to that, I'd like to address a rather troubling issue with these Vets. These CVS vets usually seem very professional, but then they go and have all this dog stuff around (see photo above). I've circled and made arrows so my point gets across about this canine trifecta. Dogs are bigger but cats are smarter and more cunnng and their owners are willing to spend more money on us cats than all those doublewide owners and homeless people are willing to spend on dogs. Maybe if Dr Ogilvie reads this and if he has any clout in that place this could change.

So now we're just waiting. It's a Saturday and it seems like stuff takes longer on weekends. Most of the vets are probably off playing golf or killing puppies - both are pleasurable past-times. It's a long walk down the hall to the examination/surgery/torture dungeons and I have to admit it can be a little disquieting.

I notice that there is much less a sense of gloom outside. This gets me to thinking ...

That's right - I try and make a break for it!

I get past the first bench but then I'm snagged by this other vet tech. I've explained in an earlier post (in great detail) about how sneaky vet techs are. I think this one was spying on me given how easily she thwarted by escape attempt.

So after this little fracas, Michelle tries to console me. It might have worked had she had the sense to do it somewhere so that I couldn't see the great outdoors. It's hard not to get bitter about all this stuff!

So as can be seen by this photo they came out to haul me back to the backroom (as they call it).

They stick me on a cold table - like the kind they do autopsies on and start feeling up my throat. This vet in the red is from Slovinia which from the sound of her talk it's clear she's not from around here. Slovinia must be out past Moreno Valley - really far away. And Dr Ogilvie isn't my regular doctor. Dr Prouix is my regular doctor. He's a board certified specialist in oncology (cancer in other words). But they tell me that Dr Ogilvie is too. I prefer to see specialists as I'm a complex cat. I see that Dr O has published several books in the field. Well that's good. I want smart people around me to take care of my needs.

I'd like to point out that even though she is from a far away place, she still was very thoughtful in wearing red for my visit. As the Huskercat (GO BIG RED!), I appreciate the gesture. I've never seen her here before and I've been coming here a long time. They could use someone as considerate as her. I hope she sticks around! And that girl in blue can also stick around as far as I'm concerned. She obviously had a thing for me. I always like to encourage that kind of behavior!

So these photos show me getting probed and measured with their gizmos. I'm surprised that they let Maggie take these pictures of them in the act. Other than probing and poking me, they slapped me down on the table and needled me so they could get some blood. This happens every time I go there! The only thing I can figure out is that they are housing some kind of incompetent vampire who can't get blood on his own. Talk about embarrassing!

I don't quite get what all they're doing, but you have to admit that in this surveillance photo Dr O and Jenn Spela of Slovinia looks like they got caught doing something. Beats me but I've learned over the years that when Vets look like this you don't want to provoke them. Last thing I need is for them to decide that they're going to use me to juice up their secret vampire. Now that I'm home and can do a little research, I find out that Slovenia is well known for vampires! Holy cow - I was kidding a bit ago about the vampire business but now it seems clear that I'm right about this. Us cats have to go with our sixth sense on stuff like this.

HEALTH REPORT: So it turns out I'm doing great. I was assuming I was doing great since I'm looking so good. I got a refill on my human cancer drug which is actually made for human people. It's pretty powerful so when they looked at my blood cells and my platelet cluster count was good so we know that the drug isn't killing me! That's certainly good! They also gave me some more prednisolone. I have to take that every day. It's a steroid which probably accounts for my being able to kick the ass of any cat that comes in the yard even though I'm getting pretty old. I can also run dogs out of the yard, but you don't need steroids to do that. Dogs are wuses.

It's getting obvious that this vet in the red sweater is really into PDAs! Her displays of affection are getting pretty personal. I'm not complaining, I'm just saying that she's pretty good at it. She seems pretty smart and smells really nice so I bet she's not one of those vets that works with dogs. She's too pretty to let herself go to the dogs. HA!

Melissa - my sexy new friend!

2009-01-08T21:05:00.000-08:00

It's been awhile since I've introduced another sexy new friend in my Tommy's Sexy New Friends series. It was hard to imagine that there would be anything good about a drought. Actually, I wouldn't spend time imagining a drought anyway since it's not in my job description, which to summarize, involves eating, sleeping, and getting petted (although not in any particular order). But, oh boy, did that drought end with Melissa stopping by!

I thought something was up when they had me locked out in the back yard when she arrived. I kept trying to get someone's attention at each back door and was getting ignored or forgetten about. Neither of which are forgivable, btw. She was there for quite awhile before someone noticed me and let me in. To which Melissa said Hey, I was wondering where Tommy was! That felt good. It's nice to know at least someone was interested in my company! I will be filing neglect charges against the owners next week. I hope they're paying attention! I hope they read this because I'm willing to negotiate on this, however, I will drive a hard bargain that will involve a lot of cans of Fancy Feast's Grilled Tuna Feast with Gravy and being fed more often than the gulag style 2-meals-a-day thing that passes for cat care around here. And it has to be the one with gravy. In case anyone involved is listening. If you get my drift.

It was all about showing me the luv with Melissa around! We could use more of that around here. We could use more of Melissa around here because at least then I wouldn't be forgotten out in the back yard! She's really smart too since you have to be smart to graduate from Cornell. That's an outstanding school because that's where my board certified cardiologist and my board certified oncologist each got their degrees. That makes me a first class cat! When I'm being squezzed my brain doesn't work like normal but I didn't hear anything about vet school. I don't think Melissa is planning on being a vet though because she didn't dress like my vets dress. At all. She would make a good vet though because she has a good bedside manner as can be seen in the photo above. Obviously there was no bed but I'm just sayin' that she had good cat communication and lovin' skills. She can visit anytime as far as I'm concerned. Not that anyone would care about what I think given how I was left out in the back yard all afternoon!!!

Behind the Scenes! (at my New Year's Portrait)

2009-01-01T23:32:00.000-08:00

This first one is my standard laying on a Husker blanket trying to look interested shot. I'm carrying this off well except I notice that it wouldn't have hurt one of the people to have given me a good brushing before this. They usually have a fur person here for me but I guess there was a little too much eggnog being passed around. I'm not completely sure about that probably because I know for sure that there was plenty of catnip floating around this joint over the last few days!

The second portrait is where they made me actually get up. I don't mind getting my picture taken but it's asking quite a bit to have me go out of my way like this. But no matter, I sure look good.

In this third photo I doing what the humans call copping an attitude. I'm not sure exactly what that means, but apparently I do that a lot. I just call it making my damn needs apparent to those who can't seem to figure it out right away!! I practically live here - you'ld think they'd get used to having a celebrity in the house. They'll be totally screwed if Madonna decides to stay over sometime!

Now for a behind the scene shot!!

Since most of you aren't celebrity cats (such as myself) I thought I'd show you what it looks like when you're getting a fancy New Year's celebrity portrait taken. You have a light to make sure your fur on the top is lit correctly. And then the crew has to have a light on each side since I have two sides. Otherwise, it would probably look weird or something. Then there's yet another light kinda in front of you (not visible here). That one flashes right in your face! This kind of thing is fun for awhile but eventually, being the center of attention like this gets a little tedious. But a cats like me got to do this to keep the fans happy. So I hope you're all happy!

Huskergirl Miss September gives good squeeze!! (to me!)

2008-12-29T23:37:00.000-08:00

It was Monday. No good bowl games today. I mean who wants to watch Rutgers play? I didn't even know that Rutgers had a football team. To be honest, I never heard of Rutgers - I don't actually keep up with all these colleges and stuff. I'm quite content to pay attention to the Huskers and I know in a few days they're going to kick the tail off of a Clemson football team. Nebraska plays on January 1st! That's a real bowl game day.

Anyways, I always like it when Natalie visits me. She's a regular around here and I suspect that she comes to just get her photo taken with me. I wouldn't be the first time someone tries to piggyback on my reputation as the celebrity Huskercat!

She moved to Alabama so I don't get to see her as much. It's a real mystery to me why someone would actually move to Alabama. If you were kidnapped then it would make sense. There are probably lots of kidnappers in Alabama.

I mean how weird is a state when their county sheriff pleads guilty to perjury and an ethics violation to stay out of prison when his crime was stealing over $9,000 for buying over $9,000 in Mardi Gras beads using the school vending machine money. I ask you how much shit for brains does a person have to have to even ponder such a high crime??? I'm sure his wife/sister didn't offer any good advice. I'm glad I live in California. Our weirdness is usually interesting and not obvious evidence of generations of inbreeding. At least we don't bury our dead in roadside graves!!

Plus, I doubt that Fancy Feast would stoop to lowering themselves to selling their Tuna Feast with Gravy in Alabama. I'm sure there's plenty of road kill innards to keep their cats all plumped up. I'm sure they can 'splain it all good by citing some Old Testament injunction about wasting food or something like that.

I suppose I'm just upset that Natalie had to leave again. She gives good squeeze! (as can be seen in the above photos) And she is Miss September in the new Huskergirls Calendar! How cool is that!! I get squeezed by Miss September! She's very classy looking. I hang out with the best - that's for sure!

She had red hair when she came over, but had black hair in her Huskergirl photo. Hell, one time she even had pink hair! Well, what can I say - this is California! I got to see if I can be in this calendar next year. In fact, I can't figure out why I wasn't asked!!

Merry Christmas 2008! What Santa brought me!

2008-12-25T23:11:00.000-08:00

HO HO HO is the word of the day it would seem! Santa Claus came to visit or so I'm told. He's not part of our cat mythology but from what I can gather he's some fat guy who doesn't know how to shave and is old enough to retire. And he's known for delivering the goods so he's my kind of guy!

The owners made me sit on this box for my "Christmas picture." Sounds like I get one picture a year taken or something. I get my picture taken all the time. That's why they have a special photographer for me. All celebrities have their own photographer! But they can take my picture if they want - as long as there's loot to be had! I've already noticed that my sock has three candy canes but the others only have one. This bodes well. For me!

Presents are being opened and I smell something special. I can't figure it out. Us cat's have a special smell organ in our mouth and so I can always figure things out better if I smell with my mouth. Bet you didn't know that cats had this. It's just one more reason in a long list of reasons why cats are superior to dogs. I mean dogs can smell better than cats, but that's not going to make up the difference for being retarded in the brain now is it? Dogs are stupid.

It turns out that the one owner (the big one) gave the cute owner a hair skrunchy made out of mink fur! It was in her Christmas stocking. Wow - they killed a mink just to make a hair scrunchy. Well, that's ok by me. Minks are sneaky little things and all you PeTA fans who are thinking that it's not fair for a mink to get killed to make a hair scrunchy I'd like to remind you that this mink probably had it coming for one reason or another so there's no reason to be losing sleep over this. For god's sake don't be a wuse about something like this! Save your emotional torment for something worthwhile - like how there might be a Fancy Feast Grilled Tuna in Gravy shortage! I have nightmares about that!!

My owners go crazy about cat stuff. They're complete suckers for any cat crap. Somebody has this all figured out because someone gave them some dish towels with cats on them (see surveillance photo above). Whoever gave them these towels must live in a double wide somewhere because if they had any taste at all they would have gotten some towels with Maine Coons since we are so much more better looking than the mangy cat on the towel.

So what did Santa bring me? That's what you really wanted to know! I got a bunch of cans of Fancy Feast Tuna Feast in Gravy (my all time fav!); and a can of Fancy Feast Tuna Feast (the kind without gravy), and a can of Fancy Feast Ocean Whitefish & Tuna Feast in Gravy. The feeders know I like the Fancy Feasts in gravy the most so I'm not sure what's up with the Tuna Feast without gravy, but I don't want to seem ungrateful, although I wish they'd pay a little closer attention to my needs than this. But I did pretty well for myself and it's time to be reflective about all the feral cats who go hungry although, I don't like to reflect on that for too long because Christmas is all about having stuff (like Fancy Feasts) and not about being down on your luck.

Warming my tail!

2008-12-21T20:47:00.001-08:00

It gets pretty cold here in California in the winter. It was down to like 50 or so today! So they made me a nice fire to supplement the warmth that my lush fur coat can provide me. I don't have much to say. This is pretty much an excuse to show you another really cool picture of me.

Save big cats - not dogs

2008-12-21T12:39:00.000-08:00

I know I got it pretty good when I see this animal shelter stuff. Since I got it so good here (not that I'd let the humans know that) I'd actually rather not be reminded of the sorry state of other animals. It harshes my mellow. But my friend, Carole Baskin, who runs that Big Cat Rescue place emailed me personally. I think she likes hangin' with celebrities which explains why she emailed me.

But I'm recommending that you vote for the Big Cat Rescue place in Florida. Not because Florida is a nice place, because it's not. But you gotta support the big cats. Plus, when you support them you know for sure you're not supporting dogs like at a humane society or something like that. The other thing is that the Big Cat place is in first place. Might as well go with a winner I always say!

Cats - good; Dogs - suck. Darwin says so!

2008-12-06T08:17:00.000-08:00

I'm not a scientist or anything. I don't have time to go to college and let's face it .. they wouldn't admit a cat anyway. I spend too much time sleeping and eating. Hmm .. so maybe I would be a good college student ... But all this doesn't mean I don't watch for the latest advances in evolutionary anthropology especially when they prove that cats are betters than dumbass dogs. Cats are better hunters (I think everyone knew this), but apparently we're much more stealthy than dogs, which obviously makes us smarter. Dogs are better at long distance chases, which obviously shows they're stupider. Why put in extra work if you don't need to? Evolution always favors those who can be strategically lazy - it's all common sense really.

Their data shows that cats have "a previously unrecognized mechanical relationship in which crouched postures are associated with changes in footfall pattern, which are in turn related to reduced mechanical energy recovery." I'm not exactly sure what that means, but another scientist said that "cats hold the edge in all-around hunting skill. Overall, they've fine-tuned their system." That validates what I've said for a long time - I'm a finely-tuned system. I'm glad science is finally getting around to studying this. They would have figured this out a long time ago if their scientists were as good as the ones that made Fancy Feast's Tuna Feast with Gravy. Oh well.

How to tell if your cat is killing you.

2008-12-05T00:43:00.000-08:00

No, No, NO. the website, catswhothrowupgrass.com is only advisory. Some humans have posted on their blogs some grave concerns about how this goes to a page about How to tell if your cat is plotting to kill you. It has signs like how if a cat is kneading on you it's not a sign of affection but that the cat is checking your internal organs for weaknesses.

Humans have reacted to this and I just wanted to point out how these warning signs are only mere suggestions in the cat world. They are far from clear cut indicators of cat behavior. They are not some kind of imperative. The site was clearly put together by some paranoid, conspiracy-minded dog lovers. Humans have no need to worry about cats. Dogs are the stupid and most digusting creatures in the animal kingdom. Humans should worry about dogs!

It doesn't take much time googling to discover that some of the most evil people have loved dogs. Hitler had a dog. I don't think much more needs to be said! Oh, and he named the dog Blondi. It takes some serious sick psychopathology to name your dog Blondi. I hate to succumb to Godwin's Law here but the facts speak for themselves. That ain't no cat sitting next to Hitler with its tongue hanging out drooling like a moron. And besides, pets are supposed to make their humans happy and I don't see a smile on Hitler's face. Hitler wasn't a pleasant person and I wouldn't be surprised if it was his dog's fault. And I'm not blaming that dog for the holocaust. Although I wouldn't be surprised, to be honest here.

We've all heard about Cruella de Ville. She's one of the more infamous dog lovers. She had a fetish for dalmations and made them into lovely coats. Although this is a horrible way to go for an animal it's a little hard to imagine that the dogs hadn't done something to deserve it. But that's just my opinion.

And remember I said they were disgusting? Well if you plug cat lovers into google you find the most fun stories and things to buy for your own cat.

However!!! If you plug dog lovers into google ... well, I really can't find the words for the creepy, disgusting stuff that dogs do to their humans, but I suspect any human with more than a box or rocks for a brain can imagine what you might find at a web site called doglovers.com! I think we know where the phrase man's best friend came from! Listen - I'm not making this shit up! If you're not buying this then maybe you need to just grow up and face reality!!!

People don't need to worry about us cats! That's all I got to say about this matter.

Halloween & Weird People

2008-10-31T23:05:00.000-07:00

Well it's almost the end of Halloween. I never like Halloween because I rarely get the attention I deserve. Apparently black cats are the big deal on October 31. I get sick and tired of racial discrimination. I don't have anything against black cats. Hell, I have a black cat friend. It's just that you'd think we'd be past all that by now. It's not a practical problem though since I get to be the center of attention the other 364 days of the year. Not that I'm keeping track.

Anyway, that's not important. What happened was that the humans had a Halloween party. The people who came over were really weird. Everyone dressed up strangely. So I sought refuge in this new piece of furniture they moved in for the occassion. It was very cozy although it was way more room than I needed - I mean a human could have laid down in that thing. The guests seems a little creeped out with it which was fine by me. I prefer to be left alone when the house is full of weirdos. I'm glad this day is over.